


Better Days

by carmen_085



Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:42:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 80,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26448745
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/carmen_085/pseuds/carmen_085
Summary: Daryl and Carl go out looking for Sophia and get separated from the group. Alone with two kids, Daryl must keep his own demons at bay while protecting them from not only the dead but also a very dangerous person who has nothing to lose. Also posted on FF.net
Comments: 4
Kudos: 21





	1. Chapter 1

**“Better Days”**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don’t own any Walking Dead characters.Original characters are mine

**Author’s Note:** This story is AU and in it Sophia is never a walker. Takes place on the farm while Daryl is searching for the girl. My first attempt at Walking Dead fanfiction, hope you like it!! Please review!

**Chapter One**

_“And you asked me what I want this year_

_And I try to make this kind and clear_

_Just a chance that maybe we’ll find better days”_

* * *

“This is bull shit!” Shane slammed both fists down on the picnic table as he, Rick, and Daryl squared off.“You really believe that girl is still out there? That’s she’s still alive?”Shaking his head ruefully he gave the other two men an incredulous look. 

Rick bowed his head.It had been a week since Sophia went missing from the highway and as much as he wanted to keep hope alive, he knew that their chances of finding her were slipping away.After three days you look for a body; he knew that but he still couldn’t bring himself to give up hope.He needed to be practical, though.Every time they went out looking for her they were risking their lives.Maybe Shane had a point.Eyes roaming toward Daryl, Rick was not surprised to see the look of disbelief on the other man’s face. 

“Are you kidding me? I just found her doll yesterday!”Daryl Dixon, what a surprise he had become.When Rick met Daryl at the quarry camp he thought the man was a loose cannon.Quick tempered, rough, and decidedly backwoods in all things, Daryl was an outcast who could have gone as easily as he decided to stay.Of all the people in the group, Rick was most glad that Daryl had decided to stick around.Once the dust settled over the Merle situation, Rick and Daryl became friends and allies.Smart, extremely perceptive, loyal, and caring; he was so much more than what met the eye.Running a hand through his short hair, Daryl glared back at Shane again, “What the hell is the matter with you? She’s out there! I know she is.” 

Rick stared at Daryl for a minute.He was jealous; he wished that he could believe in something the way that Daryl believed in this.He didn’t doubt himself not for a second; a true believer through thick and thin.“Daryl, I think we need to regroup.Define a search area today and tomorrow I will go out with you and we will find her.” 

Daryl shook his head.Rick was a good man there was no doubt about that.He had never met Rick before all this but he wished that he would have.A person who always tried to do the right thing was rare before the world ended and damn near impossible to find now.He respected him even despite what happened to Merle.Deep down, even though Merle was his blood and his family Daryl couldn’t help but to think that maybe this had been coming to him.A form of grotesque atonement for all the people he hurt in his life; including Daryl.

“We can’t lose another day.You two don’t want to go, fine by me.”Bending over Daryl slung his crossbow over his shoulder and began walking toward the woods.

“You can’t go alone, Daryl!” Rick yelled after him.

“I’m better alone.”Rick watched him disappear across the field.Shit! Shane shook his head.

“Let him go, Rick.You know Daryl; he’s not going to listen to anything.Once that redneck gets an idea in his head….” Shane trailed off as his eyes met Carl’s.He wondered if the boy had been standing there the entire time. 

“You think she’s dead?” His eyes were glassy as he struggled to hold back tears.Reaching out Shane tried to pull the boy toward him but Carl batted his hand away stepping back.“No.You think she’s dead! You both don’t care!” Turning Carl sprinted toward the barn.Rick took a couple of steps toward him before yelling out.

“Carl! Carl! Get back here!” Taking off after his son, Rick met Carl halfway down the dirt road. “Carl. Stop.”Bending down on one knee he held the boy by the shoulders.

“Let me go.”Carl had been up and about for few days and Rick was glad to see that his strength was back.Wiggling against his father’s grasp, Carl refused to meet the older man’s eyes. 

“Carl, it isn’t that I don’t believe Sophia is alive; I…I just need to look out for the safety of the group.”Rick tried to sound rational but it had no effect on Carl. 

“And who’s looking out for Sophia?” Rick opened his mouth to answer but nothing came out.Carl nodded pulling away from his father.“That’s what I thought.You don’t care.If you did, you never would have lost her in the first place.”Taking off down the path, Carl disappeared behind the barn; as Rick stayed frozen in place for a moment. The words of a child, especially your own, can cut deeper than anything else.Rick had to make a hard call and Carl didn’t understand that.Still, he couldn’t shake the sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.He lost her; that much was true. 

Carl peered around the barn as he watched his dad walk back to the others.Shoulders sagging Carl sank down to the ground.She was his friend; he couldn’t just sit by and wait.He needed to go get her! Why didn’t anyone else feel the same sense of urgency?As this thought settled heavily against his twelve year old psyche, Carl’s eye flicked up to something disappearing into the woods.Daryl.He still cared; he still believed that she was alive.He wanted to find Sophia just as bad as Daryl if not more but he knew that neither his parents nor Daryl would go for the idea of him going into the woods to help find her.Standing up a nervous jolt of energy shot through Carl.He was going to sneak away and follow Daryl until the man was too far out to make Carl turn around and go home by himself.Crouching down in the high grass, Carl moved quickly toward the tree line before Daryl completely disappeared.In his pocket he had a hunting knife that Shane had given him much to Lori’s dismay.Other than that, all he had were the clothes on his back.Carl watched as Daryl disappeared around the corner, walking lightly over the undergrowth he was careful not to make too much noise.Rounding the corner Carl stopped abruptly when he saw Daryl crouched down looking at something in the dirt. 

At first he thought that maybe the man had picked up some sort of trail but then as the minutes ticked by, Carl realized that Daryl wasn’t really looking at anything in particular.Head in his heads, Carl watched as he took a few deep breaths.His voice was just barely audible as the boy craned to hear.“Why can’t I find her? Jesus Christ! Why can’t I find her?”The torment in his voice made Carl feel uncomfortable.He hadn’t pictured someone was rough as Daryl to look so worried.It was unnerving and for the first time doubts began to bubble up inside of him.If Daryl was worried, then what the hell was he going to do? The moment faded much to Carl’s relief as Daryl quickly jumped to his feet and began stalking down the trail.A new sense of purpose was in his stride as Carl was careful to follow unseen at a distance.

The sun was beginning to dull in the sky as Daryl estimated that he had probably walked almost four miles.Still no sign of Sophia as he stopped for a moment to collect himself and plan his next move.Behind him he heard a rustling of leaves as he quickly loaded the crossbow dropping down to one knee. A mile or so ago he thought he heard someone behind him but when he turned no one was there.Steadying himself he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.It was quiet.Maybe he was losing it.Just about to stand up he heard it again.Someone or something was there.Inching toward the bushes Daryl sneered waiting for it to happen. 

“Don’t shoot me.Please don’t shoot me!” Carl stepped out from behind the tree with his hands raised to the sky. 

A whoosh of air escaped Daryl’s lips as he dropped the crossbow to his ground.“God Dammit! What the hell are you doing all the way out here?”

“I…I came to find Sophia.”Carl stammered looking at Daryl in fear.He didn’t consider what it would be like to be alone with a pissed off Daryl.At the quarry camp he had found Daryl to be kind of scary but as the weeks went by Carl grew up and Daryl didn’t seem so scary anymore.Maybe they both had changed at the same time. 

“Your daddy know you’re out here?” Carl quickly averted his gaze.Of course not. 

Daryl snorted as he looked around.This was some shit.Rick was going to kick his ass and Carl’s when they got back.“I don’t care what he thinks.He left Sophia behind.”Daryl scratched the back of his head as he sat down on a rock.Pulling one knee up to his chest, he sat back and regarded Carl quietly.

“Come here.”At first Carl was hesitant not sure of what to make of Daryl.He was much more calm than he anticipated and it was making him nervous. Carefully sitting down, Carl was sure not to get too close to the older man.If he started going nuts at least he might have a prayer of getting a break on him before he got his ass beat.The stiffness in Carl’s posture was not lost on Daryl as he felt the nervous energy radiating off of him.Sighing Daryl couldn’t bring himself to be too harsh on Carl.The boy was growing up in a world that was broken beyond repair yet he still tried to hang onto something good.While everyone had turned into animals, Carl was still trying to hold onto something as innocent as finding his lost friend.So Daryl couldn’t be mad; not even a little bit.

Daryl sighed as he pinched his eyes shut.“Carl your daddy had to make a tough call.He did what he thought was best.” 

Carl glared at him, “Do you think he did what was best?” Daryl was silent for a moment.He would never undermine Rick, especially not in front of his son. 

“I do.”Carl was not happy with that answer although he kept his protests to himself. “Listen, Carl, I get it. You want to find Sophia but you can’t just run off like that! You’re parents are probably worried sick and I need to get you…”

Before Daryl could finish Carl cut in.“No.I’m helping you look for Sophia.” 

Daryl sighed; he wanted to keep looking but it as starting to get dark out.He might have stayed out all night but certainly not with Rick’s son.It was completely out of the question.“Can’t look no more today.It’s getting dark out.”Slinging the cross bow over his shoulder, Daryl got up although Carl was still firmly rooted in place. 

“No.” 

Daryl whirled around a little too fast.“What?” He didn’t believe that Carl would talk back to him like that. 

“I said no. I’m not going back. I’m going to find her.”Carl rose to his feet looking up at Daryl indignantly. 

Daryl was at a loss. They were losing the light and the last place he wanted to be was in the woods with a kid at night.At the same time he wondered what lengths he would have to go to make Carl come with him.The boy was too big for him to carry so that was out.Daryl wasn’t really a people person and reasoning wasn’t his strong suite.So he did the only thing he knew how to do. Reaching out he roughly grabbed Carl by the back of the shirt.A momentary look of panic crossed the boys face as Daryl began dragging him back toward the farm.Seeing this made Daryl instantly regret his decision as he remembered that same look in his own eyes as a boy.But he had to so something before they got themselves in a situation he couldn’t get out of. 

“Let me go!”Carl dug his feet in as Daryl struggled with him before letting go. 

“Listen Carl I get you want to find her but this isn’t how you do it.We need to get back before dark.”

“How do you do it then, Daryl? Huh? You’re such an expert you’ve been out here all these days and you still haven’t come up with shit!”Daryl stopped for a moment. A panicked look suddenly crossed Carl’s face as he realized what he had just said.Taking a few steps back from Daryl, he was afraid of what hell he might have just unleashed.Anger bubbled up inside of Daryl but it wasn’t directed at Carl.The boy was right.If Daryl was such an expert tracker and hunter why hadn’t he found her yet? It was good question.His whole life he had been told that he wasn’t smart enough or fast enough or good enough.He struggled not to believe it but before long he felt himself tumbling down the same slippery slope. 

Daryl hated himself in that moment but he didn’t know how to process that so he did what he had to do.Grabbing Carl roughly by the wrist he began hauling him back to the farm again.“That enough.You’re coming with me and that’s it!”

“Ow! Ow! Daryl you’re hurting my arm…Daryl..” He didn’t care this time. They needed to get back, Carl would be dealt with after they were safe.“Daryl…Stop! Stop! I heard something…” Daryl dropped his hand abruptly as he paused.Heard what? Carl looked around; he heard a voice. Small and weak but he swear he heard it.

There was nothing.Shaking his head, Daryl reached out for Carl when he heard it too.It was a little girl there was no doubt about that.Daryl’s blood ran cold for a second.It couldn’t be. Not after all this time.He’d been past this damn spot at least twenty times.His practiced eyes scanned the valley below them as the trail perched and meandered along the ridgeline. 

“Help me.”There it was again. So small he barely heard it.It sounded like Sophia, it really it did but he didn’t want to get too excited.It could be another kid, lost in the woods, separated from their group.He couldn’t get ahead of himself.Lying down on his belly Daryl inched closed to the edge of the cliff as he peered over.Carl was nearly shaking with anticipation as he watched the older man inch closer to the edge.It had to be Sophia; it just had to be. 

He wanted to look but he didn’t. If it weren’t Sophia he would be crushed. This was the closest they had come to anything and he couldn’t bear the thought of returning to camp empty handed again.Not this time.He needed a break.Taking a deep breath he hoped that luck was on their side for once. 

“Sophia?” A dirty blonde head of hair leaned out over a small ledge looking up.It was her.It was fucking her! He couldn’t believe.She was alive.Her hair was matted to her face with dirt and leaves and blood.Her shirt was torn but it didn’t look like she had been bite.She looked tired and hungry but other than that he couldn’t see any major injuries. 

“Daryl…” Her voice was barely above a whisper, as she had not had anything to drink in a couple days.Her eyes were a mix of relief and fear as Daryl scooted as close to the edge as possible.The girl was clinging to a small ledge about five feet down.Daryl wondered if he could reach her. Extending his arms all the way he tried to grab her shirt but couldn’t quite reach.Sophia shifted as the weight of her body caused some of the rock to crumble.A shot of fear radiated through Daryl.She wasn’t falling, that wasn’t an option; not after all this. 

“Sophia, you’re going to need to jump for my hands.I can’t reach you any other way.” 

Shaking her head she clung to the rock face.“I can’t. I”ll fall.”The fear was evident in her glassy eyes as Daryl tried his best to convince her. 

“I’ll catch you, I promise.”Sophia looked at him doubtfully.Before she had disappeared she hadn’t really ever talked to Daryl.He was scary; not as scary as his brother, Merle, but scary just the same.Always fighting with someone or swearing she had seen him blow up once or twice at the quarry camp. She didn’t trust him.Seeing the doubt in her face, Daryl tried another approach.“Your momma’s waiting for you.”Sophia looked up at him tears running down her face.The ledge teetered underneath her foot as readjusted.Looking back up at Daryl, he gave her the softest most un-Daryl like look he could muster.“I promise.” 

His tone of voice and the look in his eye made her feel safe.She didn’t expect that.Biting down on her bottom lip she wiggled herself into a squat.Daryl’s arms were dangling only a foot or two about her head.“Ok. On three.” 

Daryl was relieved and nervous at the same time.If he did anything right in his whole life it had to be this.He couldn’t let her slip away; not after everything they’d gone through to find her. Not after he promised Carol he would bring her home.Not after all the setbacks they’d suffered. He had to get this win for Carol and the group but most of all himself.

“One…Two…” Daryl’s heart pounded in his ears as he heard Carl’s heavy breathing beside him.“Three.”As Sophia pushed off, the ledge crumbled underneath her.She didn’t get as much lift as he expect and without thinking Daryl lurch himself over the edge.Grabbing her hand he held on as tight as he could.Precariously Sophia dangled over what he had estimated to be a thirty- foot drop.She screamed as the bottom fell out from under her.Frantically she grappled for Daryl’s wrist with her other hand. Grunting Daryl used all his strength to hold her up as he felt his body sliding through the dirt toward the edge.He felt like he couldn’t breath.This wasn’t happening!

Reaching down he latched his other hand around Sophia’s wrist.Trying to dig his feet into the ground he felt himself being pulled closer to the edge as the young girl thrashed in panic.They were both going to fall.What the hell was he going to do now?

Pinching his eyes shut, Daryl wouldn’t let go of her.Even it meant he would die too, he wouldn’t let go, not in a million years.It was either going to be both of them or neither one of them.Just when he thought it was over, he felt someone latch themselves onto the back of his belt.He stopped sliding for a moment as he was finally able to gather his bearings.Behind him, he heard a small grunt as Carl dug his heels into the dirt.Using all the counter traction a twelve year old boy could muster Carl gave a Daryl a second chance.Looking down at Sophia, Daryl tightened her grip.Grunting loudly he used every ounce of strength in his arms to pull her up towards him.Kicking, she was finally able to find a small crevice to dig her foot into.Taking some of the weight off Daryl’s arms gave him the chance to scoot backwards.Pulling her up over the edge he rocked back up into his knees letting go of her hands and grasping her around the midsection.When Sophia’s feet hit the dirt of the trail Daryl collapsed backward falling onto his behind as she fell forward on top of him.

Sophia was crying as he instinctively wrapped his arms around her.He couldn’t fucking believe it.She was ok.After everything she was ok.Breathing heavily, Daryl closed his eyes.Beside him Carl’s own eyes welled up with tears as he watched his long lost friend cry in Daryl’s arms. 

Looking up Sophia stared into Daryl’s face.“I didn’t think anyone was ever going to come.I was so scared and there were walkers and…”

Before Daryl could open his mouth Carl spoke up, “Daryl looked for you everyday.He never stopped believing he would find you.” 

Daryl looked at Carl for a second; he hadn’t expected that.Not after what happened earlier anyway.Reaching out he ran a hand through Carl’s hair; their earlier argument erased by the magic of two heartfelt sentences.

Sophia was a flurry of emotions.Things had swung from one extreme to the next in a matter of seconds.Pushing herself up she felt wobbly from the lack of food, water, and sleep. Regarding Daryl for a moment she saw the way his eyes darted away as he stood up and dusted himself off.Maybe she had been wrong about him.Throwing his arms around her, Carl and Sophia both fell over into a heap as she continued crying.Picking up the cross bow Daryl slung it over his shoulder as he heard Carl mutter, “I knew we would find you…”

Every muscle in Daryl’s body ached with relief as he watch the two kids finally stand up.The excitement of the moment wearing off, he began to take stock of Sophia.She had lost weight and had a cut across her forehead.Her skin was pale and her lips were bone dry.Obviously malnourished and dehydrated, he was surprised that she had enough fluid left in her body to make any tears.Taking a few wobbly steps forward Sophia collapsed into a heap on the ground.

Jutting his cross bow at Carl, Daryl grunted to him, “Hold that.”Carl did as he was told.His worry for Sophia mixing with an undercurrent of excitement that he was holding such an awesome piece of weaponry.Bending over, Daryl hoisted the girl up into his arm.If Sophia couldn’t walk he was going to have to carry her.Her eyelids were heavy as the extreme fatigue was evident in her features.Looking down at her he wondered if he could make it four miles carrying eighty extra pounds.It didn’t matter; he had to make it.“Carl…let’s go.”This time Carl didn’t fight. 

Sophia eyes drifted open and shut as Daryl jostled her around.Her extreme fatigue was making any awkwardness she might have felt about him carrying her melt away.She wanted to sleep more than anything else.Looking down Daryl saw the girl drifting in and out as he suddenly wondered if maybe she was injured beyond what he assumed.Picking up the pace he walked as safely as he could with her in his arms.“Sophia….Sophia.”

Her head was leaned into his chest as she struggled to open her eyes. “I’m so tired.” 

“How long since you slept?” The light was beginning to fade as an inky twilight cast itself across the forest.This wasn’t good. No way could he carry her back in the dark. It was too dangerous.He had a rough idea of where the mile markers were in the woods and by his calculation they hadn’t even walked a mile yet.He hadn’t counted on carrying someone home.

Against his chest Sophia sighed.“I don’t know.”Huh…so long she couldn’t even remember. Daryl stopped to adjust her weight as he gained a better grip.Instinctively she wrapped her arms around his neck.Safely in his grasp for the moment he pressed onward. 

“Your momma’s going to be so happy when she sees you.She’s been worrying so much, Sophia.We’re staying on a farm now. It’s nice, you’ll like it there.” Nuzzling closer to him, Sophia pressed her ear against his chest as her eyes remained closed.She heard his heart beating as the vibration of his voice made a buzzing sound in her ear. His strong arms held onto her tightly as his shirt smelled of soap and dirt. He was quiet for a moment as she let the rhythmic thudding of his heart lull her into a sense of comfort that she hadn’t experienced in a long time.

One time when Sophia was a little girl she went to the school nurse delirious with fever.Barely able to breath and sweating profusely, her father had come to school to pick her up.She couldn’t walk but he refused to carry her; refused to “coddle” her like that.Her feet didn’t move as he all but drug her out of the school.In that moment she wanted him to pick her up and carry her.Tell her everything was going to be ok.Tell her that he loved her and not to be scared.Instead her roughly threw her into the backseat like a rag doll and left her there. 

Daryl wasn’t nearly as big as her father and she had grown a lot since that day at school.Stopping she felt him readjust her again as his grip tightened.He was having a hard time; she could tell.If she could have walked she would have but at that point she could barely keep her eyes open.Still she couldn’t help but to feel guilty and remember that not even her own father would have done something like this for her.Wiggling a little bit she forced her eyes open, “Daryl. I can walk. It’s ok, really.”Expecting him to stop and throw her down, Sophia braced for it. 

  
Instead Daryl tightened his grip.“No way.” He took in her shocked expression as he continued. “You’ve been out here a week by yourself.I’d have to say you’ve done enough.”

Sophia shook her head, “No. Really. I’m too heavy.” 

Daryl stopped and looked her right in the eye. “I’m carrying you.That’s it.”Sophia opened her mouth to say something else but stopped when she saw the sincere look on his face.There was no maybe about it.She had without a doubt been wrong about him. 

Relaxing back against his chest, Sophia felt the last ounce of energy drain from her as her eyes slipped closed.The muscles in Daryl’s shoulders ached but it made him feel good to see her relax.

“Hey Daryl, why’s it so dark out?” Behind him Carl clamored up beside him as he pointed out the obvious.Daryl had been so intent on carrying Sophia that he hadn’t been paying much attention to their surroundings.In the span of twenty minutes they had gone from twilight to near blackness.Stopping he looked around.A storm had to be moving in.Shit.They were still almost three miles out from the farm.Looking at Carl’s worried face and the sleeping girl in his arms Daryl felt a slight jolt of panic bubble up in his chest. At that point he was looking at spending a night alone in the woods with two kids, God only knows how many walkers, and a thunderstorm to boot.Now what the hell was he going to do? 

**Above lyrics are from Goo Goo Dolls “Better Days”**

**Please Review I would love to know what you think!**


	2. Chapter 2

**“Better Days”**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don’t own any Walking Dead characters.Original characters are mine

**Author’s Note:** This story is AU and in it Sophia is never a walker. Daryl also never gets hurts while looking for her.On a side note, I plan to write Daryl’s character using normal English.Sometimes I might use slang but if you’re looking for all the “fers” and “yers” this won’t be the story for you. On the show I feel like Norman Reedus mostly uses plain English for Daryl and I want to keep the character I am writing as close to the one on TV.

**Chapter Two**

While he might not always have excelled in school, Daryl had something that many very intelligent people lack.Practical knowledge.It was almost instinctive to him and coupled with the ability to think under pressure he was far more intelligent than he would ever give himself credit for.The minute Carl pointed out the darkened skies, Daryl immediately began scanning the forest clicking through his options.They weren’t making it back; that much he knew was true.It was too far and too dark but most of all it was too dangerous. Up ahead Daryl saw a rock face with a slight overhang. Carefully stepping toward the area he started making a mental list of all the things he had to do.Find branches and leaves, build a shelter, make a fire, check Sophia out, try to find some clean water and if God was feeling particularly generous some food.His chest tightened; it was a lot to do in the dark.If he was alone it wouldn’t be a big deal but he had two kids to take care of now. 

Carefully he laid Sophia down under the lip of the rock overhang.Dropping the cross bow and a small bag that he had been carrying next to her, he eyed Carl carefully.Kneeling down he reached into his waistband and produced his gun.A black hand gun like Carl had seen in the movies his eyes widened with surprise.“Carl.I need to go get some branches and make a shelter.”Handing the gun to the boy, Daryl looked at him carefully.“Do you know how to use this?”

Carl had never used a gun like this, only his father’s revolver. This had a clip and looked like something he wouldn’t imagine Daryl using.This was city gun; Daryl was a southern country boy it didn’t make much sense.Still Carl couldn’t help but to smile a little. This was so cool.“I’ve used my dad’s gun: not one like this though.”Daryl nodded, as he showed Carl the tab on the side that turned the safety on and off.

“Ok, when this tab is up the safety is on.When it’s off like this,” Daryl turned the gun sideways in his hand so that Carl could look.“It’s ready to fire.” Flicking the tab back and forth Daryl watched to make sure Carl understood. “On, off, on, off.OK?”

Carl nodded.Daryl handed him the gun while looking at him seriously.“Listen to me, Carl you don’t dare use that unless you have to. It’s a dangerous thing, ok? Once you pull that trigger there’s no going back.”

Daryl imagined that Rick had talked to Carl about guns but still he couldn’t leave the boy alone with a semi-automatic weapon and not feel the need to impart some advice.Truthfully, Daryl didn’t want to leave the gun with him at all but he needed to find something to build a shelter and he couldn’t leave Sophia behind unprotected.Daryl knew that Carl had a hunting knife but doubted that the boy could take down a walker by himself in hand-to-hand combat.So even though he didn’t like it; he had no other option.

Standing up Daryl handed the gun over to Carl with a nod.“I’ll be back in a couple of minutes.”Slinging the cross bow over his shoulder he turned back as he started to walk away. “Only if you have to.”Carl nodded seriously at Daryl sensing the older man’s apprehension but not acknowledging it.Even though he was only twelve years old, Carl could see that Daryl was in a hard place.While he liked to think he could fight off walkers with the best of them, Carl knew that both he and Sophia could be easily overpowered simply because of their size.Not only would Daryl need to protect himself he needed to protect them too.No wonder he looked nervous. 

When Daryl disappeared from sight, Carl turned to Sophia.A flash of lightning illuminated the sky as he jumped.She was sleeping.She was dirty and thinner than he remembered but her face was still the same.Carl wished that they were back in the RV at the quarry camp playing cards and laughing about nothing in particular.Taking a deep breath he tightened his grip on the gun as a clap of thunder echoed in the forest.He wanted Daryl back.The thought made Carl smirk.Two months ago when he met Daryl the man frightened him.He and his brother, Merle, had been at the camp only a few days when one afternoon Daryl stalked back to camp with at least a dozen dead squirrels on a string.Products of a cheeseburger nation, the rest of the group stared at him in horror.Suddenly feeling awkward, Daryl did the only thing he knew how to do.Scowling he said, “What the fuck ya’ll lookin’ at?” Carl felt his mother draw him closer as she shot Daryl a disapproving look.That was a long time ago, though, and there were many more things to fear in this world than a rough talking, squirrel eating redneck. 

Daryl was careful not to go too far from where he left Carl and Sophia.A small flashlight in hand, he perused the ground for branches big enough to make a lean tomb of sorts. This wasn’t what he wanted. He could only imagine the level of hysteria that was taking place at the farm right now. Surely Lori and Rick had noticed that Carl was missing in the dark.Hopefully, they would also notice that Daryl hadn’t returned and assume that he and Carl were together.In the distance he heard a hissing sound as a few raindrops hit his face.Pausing for a moment, he squinted into the dark.He couldn’t see anything but also couldn’t shake a feeling of uneasiness. Something wasn’t right.A flash of lightning illuminated the forest and for a split second Daryl’s heart stopped.Walkers. A whole fucking herd of them.Dropping the branch he ran as fast as he could back to Carl and Sophia.His cross bow bounced against his back as he briefly contemplated standing his ground.There had to be hundreds of them, though, there was no way he could take them all out. When he got back to the spot, Carl raised the gun with shaking hands pointing it at him.Daryl wasn’t surprised the boy probably didn’t expect someone to roll up on him that fast. 

“CARL! It’s me…It’s me!” reaching out he pushed the gun down. 

Jesus, Carl had almost shot Daryl.“I’m sorry, Daryl…I..” Before he could ramble on Daryl held his hand up.

“It’s ok. It’s ok. We gotta go, though.” Reaching down he roughly shook Sophia awake. “Sophia, get up!” Carl was starting to panic.

“What’s wrong?” What’s going on?” He was on his feet in a second.

Daryl looked at him for a moment as he hauled Sophia up to her feet.“Walkers, they’re coming. A lot of them.”No use lying to the kid.Carl felt tears spring up in his eyes; he was scared shitless.Daryl saw this as he bent over and picked a lethargic Sophia up. Looking at him he tried to sound reassuring.“It’s ok.We’re going to be ok.” 

When they started back down the path, Daryl could hear the hissing and moaning coming closer.They moved as fast as they could but still he could hear them gaining on him.Stopping he turned and looked back.The sky illuminated with another bolt of lightning as the rain started to fall.They were close, probably only fifty yards away if they were lucky.Eyeing a tall pine tree, Daryl broke off the trail running with Sophia in his arms and praying that his didn’t trip.Coming to the base of the tree, he looked up.Seeing a good amount of sturdy branches he reasoned this was their only option.Putting Sophia down on her feet, he gestured toward Carl.“Come one, I’ll boost you up.”Walkers were closing in as Carl hesitated for only a second. Lifting the boy up, Daryl watched as he climbed to the second tier of branches wrapping himself around a particularly sturdy one.“Now you hold on tight, boy, ya hear?” Carl nodded afraid to move a muscle.Turning to Sophia Daryl knew this was going to be the hard part.Her eyes were wide with panic as she watched the walkers close in all around them. 

“Daryl….”He knew she was scared out of her mind because he was too. 

“I know.Now you gotta do this for me, ok? Use everything you got to hold onto that branch.”Picking her up before she should protest, Daryl hoisted her onto the fist level of branches.Turning back the walkers were there.Grunting he pulled himself up next to her as he felt one them latch onto his boot.Sophia screamed as she felt the branch they were both holding onto bend and shake.Kicking as hard as he could, Daryl managed to get free.Wrapping his arms around Sophia he was breathing hard.Pushing her up to the next level next to Carl, he only hoped that she could hold on for a second.Her knuckles were white as he wrapped herself around the branch next to Carl tears running down her face.Carl wanted to reach out and comfort her but he was terrified of falling. 

“Sophia…it’s ok.”His words were small and weak but it was a good effort. 

On the other side of her Daryl had pushed himself up so that he was sitting between two sturdy branches. Resting his head against the bark of the tree he took a deep breath.His heart was pounding and his hands were shaking.He couldn’t believe that had just happened.Below him the majority of the walkers continued to press on toward the farm while a small crowd hissed and moaned at the base of the tree.His crossbow was laying on the ground, too heavy and awkward to even considered bringing up here and unless some dumb dead bastard figured out how to use it he reasoned that it would be safe.Turning to Sophia and Carl he saw Sophia trembling so bad that the whole branch she was on was shaking.Surely a mixture of fatigue and fear, he couldn’t let her stay like that.Wrapping his legs around one the branches he scooted closer to her to that he could reach. 

“Sophia,” she turned to look at him; her face twisted with pure terror.“Give me your hand.”Reaching out for Daryl she carefully scooted herself back on the branch never once unlatching her legs. When she got close enough Daryl, grabbed her under both armpits and pulled her over into his lap.Steadying himself, he found a spot where he could sit back against the tree.Wrapping his arms around Sophia, he felt her press her face into the crook of his neck.A few stray raindrops dropped through the tree hitting his face as he looked up.Sophia was trembling and crying although he wasn’t necessarily bothered by it because this way she wouldn’t notice how much he was also shaking.“It’s ok. Shh..”He didn’t have much experience comforting twelve-year-old girls.Stroking her hair gently he felt her nuzzle closer to him.He must be doing something right. 

“Carl…hey Carl.”Out of the corner of his eye, Daryl could see Carl turn his head.“You ok over there?”

Carl was not ok.He was scared to the point of tears but he knew there wasn’t much Daryl could do about it. So he sucked it up.“Yeah.” 

“Hold on tight, ya hear? Don’t let go for nothing.”Daryl estimated that they were about twenty feet up.If the fall didn’t kill Carl the herd of walkers below would.Pinching his eyes shut, he didn’t even want to think about it.He also didn’t want to think where the hundreds of walkers below them had come from or where they were headed.Really, he knew where they were headed and if he could have he would have warned the group.It was too late for that now, though.Rick and Shane would know what to do.He half consoled himself with that thought as Carl’s voice broke in.

“Daryl…” A clap of thunder echoed as the world was illuminated a bright white.Sophia twitched and clutched onto his shirt tighter. 

“Yeah?” 

“What if this tree gets hit by lightning?” 

He had already thought about that and it made the hair stand up on the back of his neck.They shouldn’t be here, he knew that, but he had no other options.With walkers coming at them from all angles, Daryl had to make a call between a bad decision and a worse one.He chose the tree and hoped that luck would be on their side for once.He couldn’t tell Carl and Sophia that, though, so he licked his lips trying to figure out what to say. 

“Don’t you know what kind of tree this is?”Carl shook his head in the dark but Daryl couldn’t see it so he continued.“This here is a Georgia Spruce, big and strong.Hardly ever gets hit by lightning.So don’t you worry about it, Carl.”A complete fucking lie. This tree could get hit just as easy as any other, but Carl didn’t need to hear that.Daryl was usually blunt to a fault and rarely felt the need to sugar coat the truth, but these were kids and they were terrified. So he lied because it made them feel better. 

Readjusting Sophia in his arms, Daryl leaned his head back.If they got through this night it would be a miracle. 

* * *

“I can’t believe this!”Lori paced back and forth on Hershel’s porch as Rick gripped the banister trying to hide his distress.“Where could he be?!”

Rick looked out into the darkness.“When did you see him last?”

Lori stopped a fistful of hair in her hands and she tried to think.“The last time I saw him he was with you.”Taking off down the porch stairs she began running toward the woods.Rick chased her immediately.

“LORI! Where the hell are you going?”Grabbing her by the arm, he roughly spun her around to look at him. 

“I’m going to find him.Rick! He’s out there.I know it.”In the last hour the entire group had searched the farm top to bottom for Carl.Rick pulled her into his chest as he stared at the darkened woods line.He went to find Sophia. He knew that Carl was upset after their argument but he never thought he would run off like that.Rick’s stomach turned over; as he thought about his child in the woods alone at night.He shouldn’t have argued with Carl, shouldn’t have left him go off alone, but most of all he shouldn’t have left Sophia out there in the first place.He had to do something.Letting Lori go he turned back to go into the house and find Shane. They were going to find Carl end of story. 

“Shane!”His former partner appeared in the hallway.“Carl’s missing. I need to go find him.”Rick slung a shotgun over his shoulder as he loaded his pistol.“I think he might have went into the woods to find Sophia alone.” 

Shane didn’t look happy but Rick knew that he would never refuse if Carl were in trouble.Picking up a shotgun he loaded it.

“Is Daryl back yet?” Rick hadn’t even thought about Daryl.He wasn’t back.Maybe he and Carl were together.It was a long shot but he could hope.Shaking his head he refused to look up.“Maybe he’s with Daryl and they’re just going to spend the night and come back first light.” It made some sense but Rick couldn’t shake the sense of doom that was clouding his judgment.Carl was friendly with Daryl but he couldn’t see his son running after the older man into the woods.Something was wrong. 

“Maybe he is…maybe he isn’t.Either way I’m not going to wait around until morning.This is my son!Either you’re coming or you can get the hell out of my way.”Rick stood up straight looking Shane in the eye.In their past lives, Shane wouldn’t have hesitated a second.Now…things were different.Pushing past him Rick walked out into the porch in time to hear Lori scream. 

Walkers.There were hundreds of them coming across the field. His eyes widened as he ran back into the house tripping on the porch stairs.“Everyone out!” 

The group looked around in fear at Rick’s sudden outburst.“What’s going on?”Hershel moved past Rick and looked out the door.In the darkness it looked like his field was moving.“Oh my God.” 

* * *

The walkers had begun to dissipate under the tree as Daryl felt Sophia beginning to calm down.His back hurt from the way they were sitting but that was irrelevant now.There was no way they were coming down before daybreak.He couldn’t do this again. 

Looking to the left he saw Carl still wrapped tightly around the branch.He would have to make sure that Carl stayed awake all night.He couldn’t risk the boy falling asleep and letting go.It would make him feel better if the boy was in arm’s reach but he wasn’t.Daryl had never been much of a talker and relating to other people wasn’t really something he felt comfortable with.But that didn’t matter anymore; he had to do something. 

“Hey Carl.”It was silent for a moment as Daryl’s heart began thumping in his chest.What if he had fallen asleep?

“Yeah?”

“Are you ok?” 

“I guess.”His voice was small and tired. 

“Ok.Are you getting tired?” Obviously he was tired. 

“Yeah.” 

“I know you’re tired, buddy, but you can’t fall asleep.” 

“I won’t.”The one word answers weren’t making Daryl feel any better. Carl sounded like a kid who didn’t want to go to school.Awake but on the verge of sleep any second. Daryl was quiet for a minute.Sophia had her eyes closed against his chest but she was too tense to be sleeping.Wrapping his arm around her tightly, he looked over at Carl as he gnawed his bottom lip.

“I’m sorry.I should have got you guys back.”The guilt in his voice was evident even to a kid.Carl sighed as he looked at Daryl.

“It’s ok. You did your best.”Daryl raised an eyebrow had he done his best? “Hey Daryl?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry for what I said earlier about you not being able to find shit.” 

It had stung at the time, Daryl wouldn’t deny that, but he had deserved it.“It’s ok.You were upset.” 

They were silent for a moment as Daryl struggled for a way to make conversation with Carl. 

“How old are you?” Carl’s voice broke him out of his awkwardness as he let out a small chuckle.

“Don’t you know that it’s rude to ask that, kid?” Carl laughed a little bit. To him people were either kids or adults; age didn’t really matter. He was just trying to think of something to say to someone he barely knew.A few seconds went by before Daryl quietly replied. “I’m thirty three.” 

“Holy shit that’s old!”Carl laughed to himself causing Daryl to smile a little. 

“You’re going to be that old one day and I hope you have some little shitthere to tell you about it.”Carl snickered as he came up with another question. 

“What did you do?”Daryl laughed softly carefully not to disturb Sofia. 

“I was mechanic.” He laughed again.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Oh I was just thinking some good it’s doing me now.If I had known the world was going to end I would have been a paramedic or something useful.” 

“I think a mechanic is useful.What if we’re running from walkers and we find a car but it won’t start.You could make it work.” 

Daryl was doubtful that he could fix a broke down car with nothing but his hands but that wasn’t the point.He had a very subtle way of putting himself down or making himself seem less than adequate.It was the result of years of abuse and neglect.Even though Carl was just a kid he had clued in on it was trying to his best to make Daryl feel better about himself. 

“Maybe.”It was all he could say although he couldn’t deny that he was touched by the fact that Carl wanted to make him feel better despite their dire predicament.“Want to play a game?” 

Daryl needed to keep Carl talking although he was slightly uncomfortable letting Carl do that by asking him questions. They still had hours to go and eventually his questions would probably lead to something Daryl didn’t want to talk about. 

Carl perked up a little bit as he nodded.“You know how to play twenty questions?”

“No.”Daryl sighed; kids today lacked creativity.Force-fed entertainment through the TV or video games they had no imagination. 

“OK, well here’s how it works.I’m going to tell you a category like ‘animal’ and then you need to figure out what I’m thinking of by asking questions I can answer with yes or no.If you can guess it in less than twenty questions then we switch.” 

It sounded simple enough.Carl agreed, “Ok.What’s the category?” 

Daryl thought for a minute.“Animal.” 

Carl started guessing his first question made Daryl laugh, “Have you ever killed one?” 

“No.”Carl pushed himself up so that he could watch Daryl’s face closely. 

“Is it in Georgia?”Daryl pretended to be thinking although he already knew the answer.

“No.” 

“Is it big or small?” 

“Small.”The thunder had subsided as the rain began dumping down.They had been mostly shielded from it but not Daryl could feel himself getting a little wet.“Carl you hold onto that branch tight, ok? Don’t want you to get wet and slip off.” Carl did what he was told hugging the branch tightly.

“Does it live in the hot or cold?”

Daryl stretched his one leg out under Sophia before he answered Carl.“Cold.”

“Does it swim?”

Daryl had to think about this one.“Yeah I think so.”Before he asked another question Sophia piped in.

“It’s a penguin.” Daryl was surprised that she was listening.Offering her a small smile he nodded. 

“That’s right.” 

“Shit! I was just going to say that!”Daryl smirked at Carl. 

“Do you talk like that in front of your momma, boy?”Carl looked away.“That’s what I thought.”Turning his attention back to Sophia Daryl studied her drawn face and tired eyes.“You doing ok?” 

Sophia nodded slightly.Daryl was not convinced.Letting go of her with one hand he dug into his back pocket.If he remembered correctly he had half a Hershey bar in there.Pilfered from one of their man trips into town he kept them in case of an emergency.It was smashed against the wrapper as he pulled it away.The rain was coming down now his hair was matted to his forehead.His left arm brought Sophia’s head close to his chest as he held the chocolate up to her lips with the other.Her eyes widened. She hadn’t had much to eat in the last week.Daryl was relieved when she took a bite and then another. 

“Good, huh?”She just nodded looking up into his eyes with a mixture of relief and fear. 

Pushing his hand away she said, “Give the rest to Carl.” 

“Carl. I got a piece of chocolate if you want it.”Daryl held it out for him but much to his surprise Carl shook his head.

“Give it to Sophia.She needs it more than me.”Just like his daddy.Turning back to Sophia he gently fed her the rest of the chocolate before she closed her eyes resting her head against his chest.“Can I pick a category now?” 

Daryl tightened his grip on Sophia before looking at Carl.“Sure.” 

* * *

The farm had descended into chaos as Rick charged off the porch firing at the first few walkers.Hershel refused to leave so they were going to make a stand for as long as they could.Gunshots echoed all around him as people split up into cars picking off walkers as they drove in circles.Behind him Shane fired off a shotgun in every direction.Even if they used all their ammo they couldn’t fight off all these walkers.They had to go.Grabbing Lori he threw her into the back seat of a car.“HERSHEL! HERSHEL WE NEED TO GO!!”

Although Hershel wanted to make a stand, Rick could see that the old man knew he was in over his head.Pushing Carol into the car with Lori, Rick went after Shane.When the others drove past he screamed as loud as he could. “Go!” Pointing toward the road he gestured wildly.“Get off the farm!!”

“SHANE! WE NEED TO GO!”Popping walkers left and right Rick cleared a path toward his former partner. 

Shane looked at him with a crazed look in his eye.Cocking the gun he leveled it at Rick’s chest.“FUCK YOU, RICK!!”Rick backed away as Lori and Carol were screaming from the car. Shane had finally lost it. 

A walker hissed in his ear causing Rick to jump back popping a round off into the zombie’s head.Keeping his eyes on Shane finally turned and broke out into a run toward the car.Grabbing Hershel by the shirt, Rick ignored the old man’s protests as he shoved him into the front seat.Rick walked around the car, shooting a walker hanging on the side mirror.Slamming the door he stomped on the gas, mowing down three or four bodies in the process.Behind him the shotgun blasts echoed in his ears. 

“What about Carl!? WE NEED TO FIND CARL!!” Lori howled from the back seat as Carol tried her best to comfort the distraught woman.The inky blackness of the road burned holes into Rick’s eyes as they watered involuntarily.If God could do one thing for him in his whole life he would want it to be that right now Carl was with Daryl and they were both safe.It wasn’t much, but really it was everything he could hope for. 

In the distance Daryl heard a flurry of gunshots.They were faint but he knew what it meant.Carl continued playing twenty questions not letting on that he heard a thing.So Daryl talked louder and hoped that the boy didn’t put two and two together. 

Daryl’s body ached as the first hints of daylight peeked through the tree.He was cold and wet but it didn’t matter as he looked down at Sophia in his arms. She had eventually succumbed to days of fatigue and fell asleep; her head pressed against his chest.

“Carl? You ready to go?”The boy had to be exhausted.Some how, some way Daryl had managed to keep him awake all night.He didn’t think he had talked to one person so much in his whole life but it worked. 

“I guess.”He sounded unenthused

“When I get you guys somewhere…somewhere safe.I promise I’ll let you sleep all you want.”Carl noticed that Daryl hadn’t said when we get back to the farm.Carl saw the herd of walkers last night and which way they were going.He didn’t want to but he could only assume the worst.Carefully nudging Sophia awake, Daryl assisted her onto a branch next to them.“Hold on tight, Ok? Just for a few seconds.” 

Wordlessly she complied, hugging the branch for dear life.Climbing down, Daryl pulled her down onto the next level of branches before lowering himself to the ground.To the right a walker ambled toward him hissing.Stepping over he pulled out his hunting knife shoving the blade into the corpse’s skull.It made a sick sucking sound as he pulled it back.Sophia teetered on the branch too weak to climb down herself.Reaching up she let go before he had his arms around her as they both went tumbling backwards to the ground.The shock of the fall startled Sophia as she jumped up quickly. 

“Are you ok?”Daryl saw the started look on her face and mistook it for pain.

“I’m ok.I’m ok.”Pushing himself up, Daryl brushed his pants off.Patting her back he motioned for her to stand aside just in case Carl did the same thing.Thankfully the young boy was sure footed as he lowered himself to the ground. 

Picking up the crossbow without being asked Carl started walking toward the farm.Daryl stretched out his back before bending down to pick up Sophia.“No…No I can walk.” 

She looked dehydrated beyond belief but her eyes were bright.Nodding his head he took his cross bow back from Carl as they started down the path.Within a few seconds Sophia was lagging behind.This wasn’t going to work.Without saying a word, Daryl bent down and picked her up. 

His arms were aching and his back was wracked with spasms but that didn’t stop him. Carefully they trudged through the forest.When the edge of the tree line was visible Carl ran ahead.Daryl was scared of what he was going to find.The walkers, the gunshots, it was adding up to a reality he didn’t want to face.After he broke out of the woods Carl stopped dead in his tracks.Daryl could feel his heart pounding not want to know. 

It was worse than he thought.The fields, the house there were bodies everywhere.The cars were gone and he didn’t see a single sign of life anywhere.Gingerly putting Sophia down on her feet, he sunk down to his knees.Looking around he couldn’t believe his eyes.This couldn’t be happening.Sophia was too dazed to comprehend what they were seeing. Carl on the other hand turned to him tears in his eyes. 

“They left us.” 

**Please Review!!!**


	3. Chapter 3

**“Better Days”**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don’t own any Walking Dead characters.Original characters are mine

**Author’s Note:** Thanks for the positive reviews; I really love hearing what the readers think.I hope you will continue to like this story

**Chapter Three**

Daryl sat back on the ground pulling his knees to his chest.Looking out at the farm he felt a sudden sickness rise up in the back of his throat.Swallowing hard he met Carl’s eyes. 

“We’ll find them.”In the modern world it was damn near impossible to disappear.Cell phones, surveillance cameras, GPS, credit card statements; a person had to really try if they wanted to be gone.In this world, it was damn near impossible to find anyone.Once someone left an area, they could be missing for months if not indefinitely.Daryl knew that better than anyone.It had been almost six months since he had seen his brother.Not knowing if he was dead or alive or where he was with no way to contact him at all.No phones, no mail, not even a home; once someone was gone from your sight they could be gone forever.But he couldn’t bring himself to say that to Carl.The boy was on the verge of tears at the realization that his parents had disappeared right out from under him.Looking over at Sophia he saw the dazed look in her eyes and once again was reminded of the long list of things he had to do. 

Pushing himself back off the ground, Daryl shook off his initial surprise and clicked back into survival mode.He needed to get these kids some place safe and find them some food and water.From the edge of the field Daryl could see that the house and the barn were completely overrun.They wouldn’t be able to get close to either and by the looks of things neither would anyone else.Grabbing Sophia by the shirt and nudging Carl back into the cover of the forest he bent down on one knee in front of them.Looking them both in the eye he was as honest as he could be. 

“We can’t go back there.There’s too many of them.”Carl bit his lip clearly unhappy with this revelation.

“But what if my dad left a note or directions or something?! We have to check!”

“It’s too dangerous, Carl.There’s too many of them.”Nodding toward Sophia, Daryl looked at Carl seriously.“She needs food and water.”Sophia swayed on her feet looking like she might pass out.Carl looked at her and then back at Daryl. 

“What are we going to do?”That was a good question.Looking down Daryl started to evaluate his options.They could go back the way they came and hopefully make it back to the highway before dark, get a car and try to find Rick and the others.Casting a glance at Sophia, he quickly realized that was out.He would carry her all day if that’s what he had to do but it wasn’t safe not after what happened last night.Thinking hard, Daryl recalled another farmhouse about a half mile up the road from Hershel.It might work or it might be overrun.Scanning the fields to the left he saw only a handful of walkers milling around.The fences and gates of Hershel’s fields had contained them.It was their best play at the moment. 

“There’s another house about a half mile up the road.We’ll try there. Get you guys something to eat and drink, get some rest, and then we’ll find your folks.”The house was on the way in from the highway so if Rick or any of the others came back to look they would see them first.He hoped. 

Bending over he picked Sophia up.His back ached but it was only going to be a little bit further.Carl was lagging behind clearly still unsatisfied with the plan.

“They won’t be able to find us, though! We have to stay here.”Turning with the girl in his arm, Daryl was losing patience.He was hungry and tired, and in a really shitty position and at the moment Carl wasn’t helping matters. 

“Jesus Christ, Carl!Give it a rest! I told you we’d find them and we’ll find them!” The boy visibly shrank back at his outburst.Carl was a product of new age child rearing where parent’s did yell but said please and thank you, where kids didn’t know what time out was, and had never, ever been spanked.Daryl couldn’t relate. 

After her saw Carl’s reaction Daryl felt a twinge of guilt.He shouldn’t have yelled at him.Just like everyone else Carl as scared and confused.Daryl was no genius when it came to taking care of children.He had no experience doing so before the end of the world and certainly this was no time to start learning.He did what he thought was best to keep them safe.Repeating that to himself over and over he trudged toward the old beige farmhouse. 

Thankfully the other house was not completely overrun.It wasn’t a long-term solution but it would have to work for now.The screen door was creaking in the breeze as Daryl walked up onto the porch.Peering inside the house he didn’t see any imminent danger.Gingerly he placed Sophia down on her feet taking in the level of exhaustion on her face.His back was aching and he wasn’t sure how much further he would be able to carry her.Motioning for Carl and Sophia to stay behind him, Daryl took a tentative step inside the house.His cross bow up, he became aware that his arms were trembling with pure fatigue.He was strong but not strong enough to carry a child for miles.Taking a deep breath he tensed himself in an effort to hold the weapon level. 

The house appeared deserted but he wouldn’t relax until he cleared every room.The windows were open as lace curtains blew eerily silent in the warm breeze.Over his shoulder he could hear the heavy breathing of two scared kids.They stayed close to him, Carl never more than an arm’s reach away.The first floor was deserted.Carefully, Daryl ascended the stairs wincing as they made a loud creaking sound under his boots.At the top of the stairs he heard a hissing and tightened his hold on the crossbow.Motioning for Carl and Sophia to stay where they were, Daryl advanced down the hallway toward one of the back bedrooms.Kicking the door open his heart was pounding.

A crow.Squeezing the trigger, Daryl dropped the bird with a quiet thud.Bending over he pulled the arrow out.He desperately needed to Sophia to eat something.His first option was to raid the pantry in hopes of finding something in a can.If that didn’t pan out they could eat the bird.Wincing he doubted that a girl like Sophia would be willing to chow down on something that he had to rip the feathers off of on the kitchen table.Daryl left it lie on the floor as he closed and locked the window.It would be a last resort. 

Reemerging from the bedroom he nodded to Carl.“Just a bird.”Laying his crossbow down against the banister Daryl was glad to have the weight off of his shoulder.Methodically, he went room to room, closing all the windows and making sure they were locked.Back down stairs, he locked all those windows before shutting the front door and barricading it with a piece of furniture.Standing back he looked around, they seemed all right for now.

While Daryl had been doing that, Carl had made himself useful and went to search the pantry.A moldy loaf of bread sat on the sink as he didn’t dare open the refrigerator.Pushing a chair over he crawled up onto the counter.Opening a cabinet his eyes lit up for a second. 

Food. 

Pulling the cans down he lined them up on the counter expecting Daryl to be pleased with his find.Soup and spaghetti Os, beans and corn.His mouth was watering just thinking about it.Behind him he heard a sigh of relief as Daryl came into the kitchen.Joining in Daryl was able to find a couple bottles of water.This was better than he could have hoped for. 

Opening the can of Spaghetti Os with his knife he ripped the lid off.Dipping a spoon into the can he made sure that they were still good.He hadn’t had spaghetti Os in a while but they tasted all right to him. Grabbing the water he set off toward the front room where Sophia was laying on the couch.When he saw her he stopped for a second. 

She looked so pale and weak lying there.Pure adrenaline had kept her going for the last week and now she was crashing.He wanted to just let her sleep more than anything but he couldn’t.Nudging her carefully, Daryl called her name.

“Sophia. Wake up.”She stirred but didn’t open her eyes.“Sophia.” 

“What?”Her voice was tiny and he barely heard it. 

“You gotta eat something.”Dropping the can of pasta and water in front of her he hoped she would sit up. 

Pushing herself up into the sitting position she barely had enough strength to hold her head up.Taking the spoon her hand was shaking as she missed her mouth entirely.Daryl turned away for a second.He was scared.He would never admit it to anyone.Sophia looked bad.He didn’t know anything about taking care of kids let alone sick kids.If she survived all those days in the woods alone and then died with him; he didn’t think he would ever be able to get over it.He found her and now she was his responsibility.Turning back around, Daryl watched her try to feed herself.It was sad. Without pure fear coursing through her veins she barely had enough strength to hold a spoon.She needed him.That thought was strange to him because he didn’t think that anyone had ever needed him in his whole life. 

He wasn’t going to let anything happen to her or Carl.So in order to do that he would need to step outside his comfort zone once in a while.This was one of those times.Sitting down next to her, he took the spoon out of her hand putting it back into the can.Pulling her into his lap she didn’t protest.Daryl sat back into the corner of the couch so that most of her weight would be supported by the end of the furniture and not his arm.Taking the can of pasta in the other hand he dipped the spoon into the tomato sauce holding it up to her lips.

“You need to eat.I know you don’t want to but you have to.”Hesitantly she opened her mouth and ate it.A slight sense of relief washed over him. 

Sophia was so tired and malnourished that her body was starting to shut down.She would have rather lie there than eat even though she was actually starving.She was so tired and weak that it took a monumental effort to keep her eyes open.Struggling to make the connection between the spoon and her mouth she kept missing dropping pasta on the couch.She knew that Daryl was freaked out; it was all over his face.He didn’t know the first thing about taking care of kids that much was obvious.She was more than surprised at the way he was coddling her.She never would have guessed Daryl to be so comforting.It was strange but she would never complain.The feeling of safety he gave her was something she had been yearning for her entire life. 

Daryl had to admit that he was more than uncomfortable by the situation.He had never done something like this in his entire life.The only reason he did it last night in the tree was for fear that she would fall and kill herself.It was necessary.This was a dire situation as well but the motivation was more out of caring than necessity.Looking down at her he watched her eat.He had never been responsible for another life.It made him feel important and scared at the same time. 

“Hey Daryl…” Carl came into the front room trailing off when he saw Daryl feeding Sophia on the couch.The can of soup in his hand fell to the floor with a thud.He didn’t know why but the scene made him feel awkward; like he was intruding on a private moment.Looking up Daryl made eye contact with the boy.His face was unreadable as he stared at him for a moment.“Is…is she ok?”He didn’t know what else to say.

“She will be.”Averting his eyes back to Sophia he was pleased when he realized that the can was nearly empty. Shifting her, he put the can on the table and held the bottle of water up to her lips. 

“Can I go to sleep now?”She opened her eyes still fatigued but not feeling quite as dizzy. 

Daryl nodded, “Drink some more water and I’ll let you sleep all you want.”Reluctantly she obliged before letting her eyes slip closed.Shifting her off of his legs and onto the couch, Daryl lowered her head onto the cushion.Standing up he looked at Carl.

“Want something to eat?”Carl nodded swallowing hard.What had he just seen? Never in a million years could he have imagined Daryl doing something like that.Following the older man to the kitchen Carl tried to think of something else. 

Putting the can of soup on the counter Daryl cut it open ripping the lid off as he had done for Sophia.Setting it down in front of Carl he gestured toward the boy to eat. 

Looking around Carl wondered if there was any chance of having hot soup. His shoulders sank as he realized this was the best he was going to get.Daryl hopped up onto the counter.What was he going to do next?

By the looks of Hershel’s farm there were no guarantees that Rick, Lori, or Carol were even still alive.There were no guarantees that any of them were alive.Sure the cars were missing but how far did they get? Watching Carl eat Daryl began thinking of what to do next.They would stay there tonight but then what? They needed to move on.The walkers contained by Hershel’s fences would not stay there forever.He needed to find a safe place but also needed to find Rick and the others. 

Leaning his head back against the cabinet Daryl racked his brain.Where would Rick go? He would go back to the highway. He would try to find other people. If Sophia could walk tomorrow, they were going to go back to the highway and start heading south toward Fort Bening.That was always the plan; in fact, Daryl could not recall them talking about anything else. 

Once Carl had finished eating he went over to the couch and laid down next to Sophia equally exhausted.The sun was beginning to set as Daryl looked around the empty house.Checking that all the doors and windows were locked, he was finally able to breath.Sitting down in one of the chairs opposite Carl and Sophia, he watched the two kids sleeping next to each other.They were safe at least for tonight.Placing his crossbow over his lap Daryl rested his head back.He was so tired but he couldn’t sleep.He needed to make sure they were safe.

* * *

Rick was nearly losing his mind with worry. It had been one whole day since Carl had disappeared and there were still no sign of him or Daryl.After fleeing from the farm, Rick decided to spend the night on the highway near where they lost Sophia in the first place. In this area there were only two places that they knew; the farm and the highway.If the farm was gone, Rick reasoned that Carl would go back to the only other place he knew.He wanted to go back and look for Carl at first light but a herd of walkers passed through and they were forced to relocate north.It had taken all day and he was not happy but it was what had to be done.If he did find Carl they needed a group to return to.A man and boy alone in this kind of world wouldn’t survive long. 

Now that the group was settled he wanted to go back; no he needed to go back.The problem was with Daryl and Shane gone, he would be leaving Glenn and Hershel to defend the others if anything happened.They were dangerously low on manpower and he knew it.But still this was his boy.He could never put the needs of the group above those of his own son.He had done enough for them already. 

“I’m going.I need to find Carl.”Hershel stood up looking grim.

“Rick.It’s dark you can’t go back there alone.” 

“Watch me.This is my son, Hershel!”

“I know that but it’s too dangerous.What good will it do Carl if you get yourself killed?”

“I can’t just leave him there.”He looked at the older man pleading with him to understand.Behind him, Lori sank down to her knees head in her hands.

“Did you consider that maybe he’s with Daryl or even Shane?”

Rick shook his head.“Shane’s dead.”Lori’s head popped up.

“You know that?”Her voice was low and even as she looked at her husband questioningly. 

“No.But he wouldn’t come. I tried…I tried to get him and he wouldn’t come.”Rick bowed his head knowing that Shane got what was coming to him.“We pulled out and they were all around him.No way he could have survived that.” 

Hershel saw the mix of relief and sadness on Rick’s face. Nodding he agreed, “That might be true. But what about Daryl?”

Rick shrugged, “I mean he could be with Daryl, or he could be alone in the woods or at the farm, or he could be…” He trailed off not wanting to say it but the implications clear.

Hershel touched Rick’s arm knowing what the other man was thinking.“The way I see it Carl’s a smart boy, a resourceful boy.If he went back to the farm and saw that it was overrun he wouldn’t stay there. He would go back to the only other place he knows.” 

Rick looked up, “The highway.”Hershel nodded

“Right. Or he’s with Daryl somewhere, and if that were the case I wouldn’t worry one bit.That man might be rough around the edges but I have no doubt he would do anything for your boy.”

Rick nodded. He knew that much was true.Daryl would keep Carl safe and somehow, someway he would find his way back to them.Looking up at Hershel he was serious.“OK, I’ll wait for day break to search the farm but I’m going back to check the highway tonight.” 

Hershel nodded. “I’ll go with you.” 

A few of the group members looked panicked as Rick handed Glen a shotgun.“You got this?”

Glenn nodded somberly.“Yeah.”Barricaded in an abandoned gas station, Rick reasoned that Glenn could hold down the fort for an hour or so. 

“We won’t be long.”Disappearing into the night, Hershel and Rick hoped that their hunch would pay off. 

* * *

Daryl awoke with a start.Looking around the dark house he wondered how long he had been asleep.Immediately his eyes were drawn to Carl and Sophia cuddled together on the sofa.Both of them were sleeping peacefully as he shifted the crossbow off his lap and onto the floor.Standing up he stretched. His back hurt worse than before.The house was stifling hot as he casually walked over to a window and cracked it open.Sliding down he sat on the floor next to the window.Pushing it up a little more, he felt the cool night air dry the sweat on the back of his neck.Closing his eyes he enjoyed the sensation for a moment. 

Thin slats of moonlight illuminated the room as he enjoyed the peace.Outside he thought he heard a voice.Opening his eyes he lifted himself into a squat his eyes just barely clearing the windowsill.Looking around he could see nothing.Maybe he was hearing things now.About to sit back down he heard it again, two male voices arguing.This time they were closer.Craning his neck he saw two figures come into focus. 

They stopped in front of the house.“Listen man, I don’t think this a good idea.We should wait until daylight.”He didn’t immediately recognize the voice. 

“Didn’t I already tell you I’m finding that boy…he’s mine now.”Shane. He would recognize that voice anywhere. 

“Rick is going to come back for him, you know that.”Shane paced back and forth eyeing the other man.Daryl turned his body so he could see the other guy’s face.It was Jimmy; that young kid who helped Hershel on the farm.Somehow they had gotten left behind because there was no way in hell these two would be out searching for Carl.Come to think of it, Daryl couldn’t even remember them speaking to each other once.If anyone would be out here with Shane it would have been Rick. This was strange. 

“Jimmy.Rick left him.He’s mine now.” The way Shane was talking about Carl made the hair stand up on the back of his neck.Mine.Daryl wasn’t privy to Rick’s family issues but from what he gathered Shane had pretty much taken every opportunity to insert himself between Rick and Lori.They way he looked at her and Carl made a chill run down Daryl’s spine. It was like he wanted them…he couldn’t’ have them but he wanted them.Daryl wasn’t a highly educated man but he was far from stupid.Shane desired something he could not have and he was starting to unravel because of it.It made him desperate and dangerous.Even in the dark, Daryl could see the wild look in his eyes. 

“Forget it man, you’re on your own.”Jimmy started walking the other way. 

“Hey Jimmy.”The kid turned and for a split second time slowed down.Daryl watched as Shane pulled the gun out of his waistband.He wanted to yell out to warn the kid what was coming but the scream caught in his throat when he remembered the two kids sleeping only feet away.His obligation was to protect them.Jimmy was on his own. 

The gun shot echoed in the house causing the windows to rattle. In an instant Sophia was awake and screaming.With one fluid motion Daryl was on his feet and across the room. Clapping his hand over her mouth he squeezed her tight against his chest. 

“SHHH…SHHH!!” Carl was awake and latched himself onto Daryl’s pant leg heart pounding wondering if he had just dreamt that. 

They were motionless for a second, Daryl afraid to move an inch.What if he heard that?It wasn’t that he couldn’t take Shane out; he would gladly do it.The problem was he couldn’t take the risk.If there were any chance he could get hurt or killed and leave Carl and Sophia alone or with a nut case like Shane he wouldn’t do it.He had never backed down from anyone but he also never had anything to lose. 

Quietly he led them into the kitchen; his hand still clapped over Sophia’s mouth.He noticed earlier that the pantry was big and had a door with a latch.Pointing to the bottom he bent down and whispered.“We’re going to play a game, ok? You guys hide and be very quiet.No talking.Who ever can go the longest without talking wins.” 

They nodded, not really wanting to play a game but grateful that Daryl was trying to make the situation less scary.“OK.I’m going to close the door and lock it.I’ll be right back.”When the latch was securely in place.Daryl bounded across the front room in three swift leaps grabbing his cross bow and taking position behind the couch.Bending down on one knee he leveled the weapon at the door.His breath hitched in his throat when he heard the front steps creaking.He heard Shane rattle the door finding it secure.His heart pounded as he heard the other man pacing back and forth on the other side of the door.To the lefthe saw a dark shadow peer in one of the front windows.Holding the crossbow steady he waited for the sound of breaking glass.A tapping sound echoed in the house as he tested the mettle of the glass against the barrel of his gun.Daryl held his breath.This was it. 

The shadow suddenly receded as he heard the sound of footsteps back down the stairs.He left.He couldn’t believe it but he left.Stealthily he moved over to the window.In the moonlight he saw Shane pause for a second over Jimmy’s body before heading back down the path toward the farm.Daryl let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.They had to get the fuck away from here fast.Shane had lost it and would clearly stop at nothing to have Carl for himself.Standing up Daryl went back to the pantry.Unlatching the door, he saw two sets of terrified eyes looking up at him, 

“You guys did good.Didn’t hear a peep.”He tried to smile but fell pitifully short. 

“What was that?”Carl looked up at him.

He licked his lips searching for an explanation.“Just thought I heard a walker.” 

“It sounded like a gunshot.”Dammit, why couldn’t he have been stuck with stupid kids?

“Naw. You were just dreaming, boy.”Carl looked confused, unable to decide the truth.Eventually he nodded his head not wanting to believe this terror was caused by anything real. 

Sophia stared up at him still terrified but looking brighter than she had a few hours ago.Kneeling down Daryl looked her over, “You ok?”She nodded, the rest had clearly done her some good. 

Standing up, Daryl grabbed a bag taking a few cans of food off the counter.“We gotta go, guys.”

Carl pulled himself out of the crawl space first.“It’s dark. We can’t go out there in the dark.What if more walkers come?”At that point Daryl was fairly certain it wasn’t the dead they needed to be afraid of. 

“We’ll be fine.I scouted a small cave near here last week. It’s just into the woods a quarter mile or so.” 

“But why do we have to leave now?”Carl was going to be difficult he could see that.

Stopping what he was doing Daryl looked at the boy,“Because I said so.”Carl didn’t like it as he rolled his eyes.What else was Daryl going to say? Because I just saw your Dad’s ex-partner murder someone in cold blood.No, not really. 

Daryl briefly thought about waiting for daybreak but then quickly decided against it.For all he knew Shane could be sitting behind a tree somewhere just waiting for them to come out.They had a window right now.He had just seen the man go in the opposite direction a minute ago and it was dark.Even if Shane did pick up their trail, Daryl could easily shake him at night. 

Slinging the bag over his arm, he nodded to Carl.“Out the back door.Take Sophia’s hand and go quietly.”Taking the cross bow in his other hand he gave the house one last look before following them out into the dark. 

**Hope everyone liked this chapter! Please review!!**


	4. Chapter 4

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** The twist with Shane in the last chapter was a last minute change in direction but I couldn't resist. I hope everyone is as excited as I am to see where this goes!

**Summary:** Daryl and Carl go out looking for Sophia and get separated from the group. Alone with two kids, Daryl must keep his own demons at bay while protecting them from not only the dead but also a very dangerous person who has nothing to lose.

**Chapter Four**

Daryl kept looking over his shoulder as he hustled Carl and Sophia across the field and into the tree line. The forest was dark and cool as he stopped abruptly grabbing Carl by the back of his shirt.

"Hold up a sec." Scanning the fields and the farmhouse he didn't see any movement. Shane wasn't exactly stealthy so Daryl felt confident that they were safe for now.

"What are we doing?" Carl moaned to Daryl a few octaves too high clearly annoyed by their current situation.

"SHHH! What the hell is wrong with you, boy? Attract every walker in Georgia with your big mouth." Pushing past them Daryl continued toward the cave hoping that Carl's outburst didn't attract any local walkers. Behind him he could hear the boy complaining about traipsing through the woods for no good reason.

"What about my dad? He's going to come back and look for us! We're going the wrong way." Jesus, Carl was going to give him a bitch of a time with this. Quickly Daryl began to scan his brain for a solution. He didn't want to lie to him; that would surely come back and bite him in the ass one day. But the truth…the truth was definitely out.

Glancing down at Carl, Daryl avoided eye contact. He wasn't a good liar. "I left a sign out front for your old man. Told him what direction we were heading. He'll find us."

Carl was silent. It had worked for now. Daryl bit his lip. This was some kind of situation they had. Shane was fucking crazy. There was no doubt about it.

Daryl didn't say much because he liked to listen and watch. He had been that way for a . His daddy wasn't much for conversation; usually let his fists do the talking. At one time Daryl had been a bright, outgoing kid. He loved to talk and couldn't read enough books even if he tried. Hard to believe, right? He did well in school and wanted to do so many things with this life. But little by little his daddy and Merle beat that hope out of him. They told him he was stupid and would never amount to anything. That he was garbage and had no use for books or school or any kind of learning that didn't involve the backside of his daddy's hand. Eventually he believed them. They told him he was stupid so he stopped going to school. They told him he was trash so he stopped looking at himself in the mirror; afraid of what he would find. They told him he would never amount to anything and he didn't. He shut his mouth and from then on he just watched as everyone else lived the life they deserved while his slipped away.

Daryl had been watching Shane for a while now. He seemed like an ok guy until Rick showed up at the quarry camp. After that something shifted inside him. He became erratic as his grip in reality began to loosen. At one time Daryl was almost certain that Shane was going to creep off in the middle of the night never to be seen from again. It would have probably been best for all of them but no such luck. He should have figured on that one. Shane would never leave Lori and Carl behind. He had gotten a taste of something he wanted so badly only to have it yanked out from under him. And he couldn't get mad, couldn't blame anyone, couldn't even try to take it back. Because it never belonged to him in the first place. Lori and Carl had never been his no matter how much he wanted that to be true and it just killed him. It was written all over his face every time he looked at them. Daryl didn't agree with it but he understood what it was like to want something you could never have.

Looking down at Carl, Daryl sighed. This was going to be hard. He had to make sure that Carl never ever got sight of Shane. If Daryl was lucky, Carl thought of him as an ok guy; a means to find his father. Realistically, he realized that the boy was probably afraid of him and would try to get away the first chance he got. He needed to make sure that Shane wasn't that chance. He knew that Carl would never in a million years believe that Shane was dangerous. He didn't know the specifics of their relationship but he knew that Rick and Shane had been partners for a long time. Carl had probably known him all his life. In Carl's eyes he was a good guy, a hero cop, and his dad's best friend. He was the man who held him as a baby and came over to play with his new toys on Christmas Day. He probably took him to a Braves' game or the park, or for a ride in the police car. And he was probably there the day Rick got shot or the day their town was overrun with walkers. The point being, Shane had always been there. If Carl didn't have any other uncles Shane was most likely it. And that was the problem. To Carl, Shane would always be one of the greatest guys in the world. Daryl wasn't a betting man but he would be willing to put his life on the fact that Carl would never believe that Shane was dangerous. He would never believe a stupid redneck like Daryl. Never in a million years.

Sighing, Daryl stopped at the base of a rock wall. Gesturing up about five feet was a ledge that went back quite a ways. Hoisting both Carl and Sophia up, he pulled himself up with moderate effort. His arms were still aching from carrying Sophia all over hell's half acre. The cave he was talking about was actually bigger than Carl had thought. Sitting down next to Sophia he looked at Daryl expectantly. What now?

Setting down his crossbow Daryl looked up at them. "What?"

"Now what do we do?" Sophia looked at him expectantly. She hadn't said much and he was grateful to hear her voice. If Carl had asked him he probably would have been annoyed.

Taking a deep breath he knelt down. "We stay here until morning. Then back to the highway."

"What if they're not there?" Oh Carl always had something to say.

Looking at him seriously Daryl nodded, "They'll be there." Carl looked at him for a while before lying down in pile of leaves near the rear. Sophia sat there looking at him nervously in the darkness.

"What?" It came out harsher than he had intended.

"What if they come back? The walkers." He nodded acknowledging her fear.

"Don't worry. I'll stay up, keep watch." She looked at him nervously. Softening his voice he offered her a small smile, "Really, it's ok. Go sleep over there with Carl." Reluctantly she scurried over next to Carl and lay down. Settling back against the lip of the cave Daryl rested his crossbow over his lap. He was so tired and hungry. It hadn't even occurred to him that he was hungry. He has been so busy making sure that Carl and Sophia were fed that he had completely forgotten to feed himself. Closing his eyes, the back of his head dug into the rocks. The night sounds of the forest comforted him with their familiarity. Crickets chirped as he took a deep breath. He loved that sound. At home, before all this happened he used to sleep with his window open every night. Somewhere behind him he heard rhythmic breathing; as he knew that at least one of them was asleep. Shifting he opened his eyes. He needed to stay awake.

* * *

The highway was a dead end. He knew they should have gone to the farm. Driving back to the gas station the car was silent.

"We'll find them." Hershel was the first to break the silence.

Rick shook his head, exhaling loudly. "All I can think about it what if he's out there alone. What if he's scared? What if he's…" Rick trailed off unable to say it.

"He's with Daryl." Hershel said it like he knew.

"You don't know that."

"Rick, Carl would not wander off into the woods alone. You know that. He's a smart boy. He probably saw Daryl leaving and followed him."

Rick nodded, Hershel was probably right. If he could pick anyone for his son to be with in this world right now it would be Daryl. If he couldn't look after Carl himself he would want Daryl to. There was no one who knew how to survive better than him. There was also no one he trusted more. Although they got off to a rough start, Rick had never known Daryl to be anything but loyal and trustworthy. A straight shooter and a true believer, he would take care of Carl like the boy was his own. What worried Rick as that he wasn't with Daryl. That he was alone or something worse.

* * *

" _Daryl….Daryl…" The front door slammed as Daryl sat up in bed with a start. "Daryl…"_

_He heard foot steps coming down the hallway. Laying back down he pulled the blankets over his head. Maybe if he pretended like he was asleep his old man wouldn't bother him. He heard something slide down off the wall and hit the floor with a crash. A grunt and two more heavy footsteps. His heart was pounding._

_The door opened with a creek. "Daryl…" Under the covers he squeezed his eyes shut. Please go away. Please go away. He heard a raspy breath and then the inevitable. "I thought I told you to clean up this room, boy!" His room was clean; it was spotless actually. After the last time he wouldn't make that mistake again. It didn't matter though. It never mattered._

_In an instant the blankets were ripped off and he was lying curled up on the mattress. It was stained and dirty. There were no sheets. His father threw them away about a month ago. His father had been on a rampage that night drunk and high on cocaine he ripped the house apart from one end to the next. When he finally got to Daryl's room, the boy was trembling under the blankets so scared that he wet the bed. That night he slept naked on the bathroom floor as punishment. The sheets thrown away, the mattress smelled of urine that his father refused to clean. It stayed that way until the smell eventually started to fade._

" _Next time I tell you to clean your room. You clean your FUCKING ROOM!" The first punch hit him in the back so hard that the air whooshed out of his lungs, He opened his mouth to scream but nothing came out. Bending over his father grabbed him by the leg yanking him out of bed. Throwing him on the floor, he stopped when a book fell out from underneath Daryl. A fucking book. Just what he told that kid not to be worried about._

_Whipping it as hard as he could the stiff binding hit Daryl in the forehead causing a trickle of blood to run down his face. "I thought I told you not to be bothered with this shit!" Kicking him in the ribs, Daryl rolled over grabbing his side. "Books are for pussies." Grabbing his son by the neck he hauled him to his feet pushing him back against the wall. "You ain't a pussy now. So what? You think you better than your brother, Merle? Better than me? Yeah that's it… you think you better than me." Daryl tried to shake his head no but couldn't move an inch. Tightening his grip his father lifted him off the ground, hands still wrapped around his neck. Daryl's chest heaved; he couldn't breath. Tears involuntarily sprung up in his eyes as ran down his cheeks. His father was going to kill him._

Waking up, Daryl gasped for air. Every muscle in his body was tense as he looked around. He was ok. Looking over at Carl and Sophia they were both motionless. He was covered in sweat as he stood wobbling on his feet. Walking out to the edge of the rock he sat down looking out over the woods. It was just a dream. He couldn't hurt him anymore. He wasn't ten years old and his father wasn't alive. He told himself that over and over as he breathed in the cool night air. Looking down he realized that his hands were shaking. Clasping them together he closed his eyes trying to calm himself down.

"Are you ok?" He visibly jumped clearly startled by the voice beside him. Sophia looked at him with wide eyes.

"Yeah…I uh…I thought you were sleeping." His voice was shaky and clearly rattled.

"I was. I thought I heard something though." Sitting down next to him, he watched as she stared at his hands trembling in his lap. Tucking them between his legs, he tensed his arms hoping that he could control it. They were silent for a moment before she looked at him seriously. "Are you scared?"

Only every moment of every day. He couldn't tell her that though. What the hell kind of man was he if he spilled his guts to a little girl. Shaking his head he looked away so that she couldn't see the lie written all over his face, "No. What about you?"

She thought about it for a moment before quietly replying, "Not like before."

Before. That would be the week she spent out in the woods alone when he couldn't find her. "What did you do?" It had been something he was wondering about since he found her.

Sophia shrugged, "After Rick left me. I went back toward the highway. I thought it wasn't that far but I kept getting turned around." Daryl couldn't imagine what that must have been like. Sure he had been lost in the woods as a kid, but he was used to it. Sophia had probably never set foot outside alone in her life. "Eventually I gave up. I found place and lay down. I cried all night. I missed my momma so much." Daryl felt a twinge in his chest. God, he tried so hard to find her. He hated that she was made to suffer because he failed. "The next morning I was laying there when I felt something grab me. I thought it was my momma and I was safe at home and that all this was a bad dream. When I opened my eyes…" her voice wavered as he could see tears spring up in her eyes. "There was a walker there." He looked away. He would never forgive himself for this. He didn't leave her but he could have found her ...he _should_ have found her. "I ran as far and as long as I could. I don't know what happened but I guess I must have tripped. The next thing I knew I was going over the side of the ledge. Somehow I caught myself before I fell. I don't know. Then you found me."

Daryl shook his head. She had been clinging to that ledge for almost five days? Unbelievable. They were silent for a moment before he finally said something. It was low and barely above a whisper, "I'm sorry."

"For what?" She looked at him quizzically.

He sucked in a deep breath. Guilt was written all over his face as he avoided her eyes, "For not finding you sooner. You didn't have to go through…" Before he could finish she cut in.

"Yeah but you found me." Dumbfounded he didn't know what to say. "And you took care of me. And you're going to find my momma. I know you will." Daryl gave her a half smile as he looked down. The weight of her expectations caused his shoulders to sag. What if he couldn't find the others? What if he let them down? What if he was still nothing more than the helpless kid his father kicked across the floor?

Next to him Sophia shivered in the night air. Pulling her knees to her chest, she hugged herself trying to stay warm. For a second he wondered if he should put his arm around her, keep her warm. It made him feel uncomfortable and he didn't know what to do. Gesturing toward the cave he looked at her, "Go back there with Carl. Get some sleep. I'll wake you guys up when it's time to go."

Sophia sighed. She wanted to stay there next to Daryl. She wanted him to put his arm around her and she wanted to lean against his chest and hear the beating of his heart. It made her feel safe and warm. She wanted him to hold her close and tell her everything would be ok. That they would get out of this. That he would protect her. And that they would find her momma. Like Shane Sophia had gotten a taste of something she had wanted so badly for so long. Looking up at Daryl she realized that it had never belonged to her. But that didn't stop her from wanting it.

Reluctantly she went back and lay down next to Carl. Her eyes were open as she watched Daryl in the dark. Bending his head down she watched as his shoulders slumped forward. He looked so different sitting there. He wasn't anything like the loud mouthed, cursing, redneck she remembered from camp. He was unsure. He was guilty. But most of all he was scared. She knew he would never admit it but she could feel it. It was in everything he did. The way he talked, his posture, and how he didn't make eye contact when he was trying to lie. Just like Daryl, Sophia was a watcher and listener. She picked up in subtle things that other people missed. No matter what he said, Daryl was scared out of his mind. At first she thought that fact would freak her out, but really she didn't mind that much. It just made him seem more human to her. It made him seem like a real person and not the awful stereotype everyone made him out to be.

Daryl sat on the ledge until the sun came up. He was too wired to even think about sleeping. The nightmares hadn't been a problem until recently. His father died when he was eighteen, some bull shit about his heart. Closing his eyes he remembered that day if it was only yesterday.

_It was hot and he was covered with sweat and grease as he walked home from work. He had barely graduated from high school a couple of months ago and was now working at the local mechanic's shop. He liked it good enough, but couldn't help but to feel like he was missing out on something more. Like so many of the others in his class, he could have made something of himself. He could have really been something._

_When he got closer to the house he saw Merle sitting on the front stairs smoking a cigarette. Daryl stopped when his brother looked up at him. Something was wrong. He could feel it. Merle looked at him for a second before looking back down at the ground._

" _Daddy's dead." And there it was._

" _What?" He wasn't sure he heard that right._

" _Some bullshit about his heart. I don't fucking know. I went down to St. Maggie's. He was already dead when I got there." Merle flicked the cigarette away. Daryl felt his chest tighten with so many different emotions. Nodding he walked past his brother into the house. Dropping the tool belt on the floor he walked straight ahead into the bathroom._

_Turning the sink on Daryl scrubbed the grease off his hands. Leaning down he splashed the cold water in his face. Turning the water off he looked at himself in the mirror. A sob caught in his throat. What the hell was wrong with him? His father, the son of a bitch who beat him within an inch of his life, was gone. He should be relieved. Happy even. But he wasn't. Not in that moment anyway._

_When Daryl grew into a teenager he became too big for his father to smack around. At that point the abuse became primarily verbal. He wanted to stand up to him so many times but he never did and now he never would get the chance. He was angry. Gripping the edges of the sink his knuckles turned white. All those years, he thought that one day he would finally stand up to him. Tell him that he ruined everything. The son of a bitch was dead now. Gone from this world without a clue about the fucked up people he left behind. Winding up Daryl punched the mirror as hard as he could._

Snapping his eyes open he looked down at his right hand. The faint scar was still there. Four stitches right across his knuckles. It took forever for that to heal. Clenching his hand he looked up. The nightmares had tailed off after his father died. Over the years he noticed they would start up again when he was stressed about one thing or another. This was definitely one of those situations.

Pushing himself up, Daryl dusted his pants off. The sun was up now and they needed to start moving Bending over he quietly spoke, "Hey. Get up. We gotta start moving again." Sophia stirred awake first, meeting his eyes with a smile. Daryl looked her over. She was still too skinny looking. When they got back to the highway he was going to find them something to eat.

"What about my dad?" Daryl sighed. He wished that he would have had a dad like Rick. That man would go to the ends of the earth to find his son, and Carl would never stop believing in him.

"I told you. I left a sign out front of that house. Told him we were heading back to the highway. He'll find us." Sophia noted how Daryl didn't look at Carl when he said it. He was lying should could tell. Carl shrugged clearly not happy but taking Daryl's words at face value. Climbing down the rock face, the trio headed east toward the highway. It was a risky move and Daryl knew that. Shane could easily be there; waiting for them. He had to check, though. With the farm overrun, the only other place in the area they would know to go was the highway. If he didn't at least try, they might never find Rick or Carol or anyone else. Once someone was gone from your sight, they could be gone forever.

* * *

Rick packed the last of the supplied into the car. They were going back to the farm and then he needed to find some real shelter for the group. They cleaned the gas station out of food and supplies leaving the already meager shelves completely bare. It had been decided that T-Dog would go back to the highway and wait there while the rest of them searched the farm and the surrounding area. Rick didn't like the idea of someone out there alone but they were short and manpower and needed every extra body to comb the woods.

Stopping the car near the traffic snarl he looked at T-Dog seriously. "Be safe. We'll be back to get you before dark." The man nodded. He could handle himself and Rick knew it. Doubling back, Rick looked in the rearview mirror at his friend as they sped away.

"How much further?" Daryl smirked when he heard Sophia's voice.

"Seems a lot further when you actually have to walk." Face turning a little red she was silent as Carl snickered.

"Want to play a game?" Carl looked at her expectantly.

"Sure."

"Ok, I say something, you tell met he first thing that comes to mind. Don't think about it at all." Sophia nodded eager for the distraction. "Want to play, Daryl?"

The older man grunted. Carl didn't know if that was a yes or no but he continued anyway. "Ok. School."

"Yuck." Sophia made as a face as Carl laughed.

"What about Christmas?"

"Presents." Sophia chimed in. Daryl looked over his shoulder,

"Sleep." They jumped looking at him surprised that he had decided to join in.

"Sleep?" Carl looked at him skeptically. If there was one day in the whole year Carl didn't want to sleep it was Christmas day. He could be up at six in the morning and that was perfectly ok with him.

"Yeah, sleep. No one's around, don't gotta go to work." Sophia and Carl wrinkled their noses. That sounded like the most depressing Christmas ever.

"Whatever." Carl shrugged his shoulders. "Ok, family."

Sophia got quiet for a second before replying, "Momma."

"No one." They both looked at Daryl, their faces a mix of surprise and sadness.

"What about your brother?" Sophia looked at him arms folded over her chest.

"I thought you weren't supposed to think about it." She couldn't decide if Daryl thought Merle was dead or if he just didn't think of him as family. At least not the way she thought of her momma as family.

The moment had turned awkward as Carl searched for a way to break it. Out of the three of them he had a feeling that he was the odd man out. Before all this his life had been, for lack of a better word, charmed. His parents were still married and they both loved him. He had never been beaten or abused in any way. He liked school, had friends, and truly believed that he could do anything he wanted to. For a while he thought that everyone was like that. Looking at Daryl and Sophia he realized he had been the lucky one.

"Ok, what about Justin Bieber?" Sophia giggled, as Daryl couldn't help but to smirk.

"Cute." She replied her face immediately turning red. Daryl looked at her. He would have to remember this.

"Kid." Sophia looked at Daryl, her mouth gaping open.

"You know who Justin Bieber is?" Daryl rolled his eyes.

"Good Lord, I got a radio." They both giggled.

* * *

Sitting on the trunk of a car, T-Dog turned when heard what sounded like footsteps. Craning his neck he saw a figure coming toward him. Squatting down behind the trunk he leveled the gun. As the figure came closer he visibly relaxed. Standing up he yelled out.

"Shit! We thought you were dead, man!" Shane. When the man came closer the smile faded from T-Dog's face. Something was different about him.

"You with Rick?" Shane narrowed his eyes not bothering with any pleasantries.

Slowly, T-Dog nodded. "Yeah."

"Carl with you?" T-Dog's eyes wandered to the shotgun Shane had over his shoulder and then to knife hanging off this belt.

"Naw." T-Dog

"You know where he's at?" Shane took a step forward so that there was no space between them. Shifting on his feet T-Dog was unwilling to step back although he was clearly threatened by Shane.

Glaring at him he shook his head, "We're looking for him right now. Rick…he'll find him."

Shane let out an evil laugh. "Rick left him. He don't care about Carl." Stepping back, Shane sneered as he thumbed his chest indignantly. "Carl's mine now."

T-Dog raised his eyebrows. He knew that Shane was coming unraveled but this was bad. Watching the other man, he saw his eyes dart from the woods back to T-Dog. He had completely lost his mind.

"Tell me where they are." No way in hell was he going to sell Rick out like that. Tightening his grip on the gun at his side T-Dog shook his head as he looked away.

"No." Shane furrowed his brow. No? That wasn't an answer.

"What did you just say?"

Looking him square in the eye T-Dog said it a little louder. "I said no."

A smile came across Shane's face as he nodded. Rubbing his chin he reached around behind him. "Have it your way." Before T-Dog realized what was happening, the crack went off and he was falling backwards onto the ground. Blood squirted from his chest as he gasped for air. Walking forward Shane stood over top of him. T-Dog frantically grabbed at the pavement for his gun. He should have shot Shane when he had the chance. That wasn't him, though. He had never killed anything in his entire life; walkers didn't count. He had been a youth pastor and a school teacher. He had never handled a gun until a few months ago. His body convulsed as Shane stood over top of him. "Hope it was worth it." Leveling the Beretta at his head he ended the other man's life with a look of disgust.

* * *

About a mile away from the highway, Daryl listened to Carl and Sophia banter back and forth. Suddenly his ears picked up a familiar sound. A gunshot, he barely heard it. Stopping he looked around, it could have come from anywhere.

"What's going on?" Carl stared up at him.

"Nothing." Daryl didn't want to worry them for nothing. "Just keep it down, OK? No telling what's in these woods."

They walked for another twenty minutes before Daryl saw the highway come into view. Climbing up the small embankment, he held his hand up for Carl and Sophia to wait. They watched him as he stepped over the guardrail surveying the scene. The place looked pretty deserted as Daryl reasoned that they were safe for now.

Turning back he motioned from them to come over. Helping Sophia step over the guardrail he gestured for Carl to follow. Looking around he bent over, "Carl you remember that car we left the food on for Sophia?"

Carl shook his head, "The yellow one."

"Right. Now I want you two to go over there and see if you can find anything to eat."

A terrified look came across Sophia's face. The last time this happened she ended up lost in the woods for a week. "What if something happens, again?"

Daryl softened his expression, "I'll never be out of your sight, ok? If something comes after you…you run to me this time, Ok?" She didn't like it. That much was evident. Reluctantly she nodded. As they turned toward the car, Daryl yelled after Carl. "Stay together, you hear?" Carl nodded seriously.

After they disappeared between the cars, Daryl began looking for any sign that Rick or the others had been here. Walking along the shoulder of the road, he picked up a faint set of tire marks in the dirt. Tracking them for twenty or so feet he constantly kept looking over his shoulder making sure that Carl and Sophia were always in his sight. The tracks faded near the back of the pile up as he concluded that someone must have turned around and went back the other way. It could be Rick or it could be no one.

Wiping the sweat from the back of his neck he heard a buzzing sound. Checking Carl and Sophia he was satisfied when he saw them sitting on the roof of the car eating out of a soggy cereal box. Weaving through the cars Daryl saw a man's legs as he raised his cross bow. Walking stealthily he crept over the bodies of dead walkers. Crouching down he saw that the guy wasn't moving as a pool of blood shimmered in the afternoon sun. Suddenly he remembered the gunshot. Holding his breath he stepped around the back of the car. His eyes widened as he saw the man lying on the ground.

T-Dog. Daryl's heart was pounding as his eyes landed on the perfect hole right in the middle of his head. No one could shoot themselves like that and besides T-Dog had never struck him as someone who would "opt out". Staring at the man's body a chill ran up his spine. Someone did this. A living, breathing person had killed T-Dog.

Behind him he heard the crunch of gravel. Daryl's blood ran cold as he looked under the car. A set of boots stepped over the median. He froze for a second. This couldn't be happening again. Springing up, he bounded over bodies as he rushed toward Carl and Sophia. From all the time Daryl spent in the woods he was light on his feet and barely made a sound.

When he reached the car he grabbed Sophia around the mouth preventing her from screaming as Carl looked at him in fear. Grabbing the boy by the shirt he pushed him behind a car as they all crouched down. Sophia was whimpering against his hand as he felt her press her face into his shirt. Peering through the dirty windows, Daryl watched as Shane weaved back and forth searching the cars. He stopped when he got to the yellow car seeing the open box of cereal lying on the ground.

Carefully, Daryl backed up dragging Sophia with him. They needed to find a place to hide. Daryl's eyes scanned the cars. Up ahead was an SUV with tinted windows. The back door was wide open. Pushing Carl toward the vehicle, Daryl breathed a sigh of relief when he saw that it was empty. Motioning for Carl to get inside he immediately obeyed. Daryl gestured for him to crawl in the front and stay down. About to swing himself and Sophia into the back seat, he saw Shane coming around the back of the car.

Leaving the back door open, he backed up around the front of the car. There was nowhere to go. In front of the SUV was another car with the back door kicked open and the window down. Crouching down behind the open door, Daryl squeezed Sophia against his chest.

Sophia kept her eyes closed as she breathed in the scent of Daryl's shirt. It smelled like dirt and sweat and blood. It smelled like Daryl. She could feel his heart pounding through his chest as he reached for something behind him. Pulling the gun out of his waistband, Daryl rested it against the window frame.

Shane stopped at the open back door of the SUV. Leaning inside he saw nothing. Curled up in a ball on the floor in front of the passenger seat Carl held his breath. It was walker and it was inside the car with him. Closing his eyes he prayed that it would just leave him alone. Daryl watched as Shane leaned inside the car. Leaning back out he took a few steps back looking at the vehicle. Peering inside the tinted glass he saw nothing. Shane took a few steps toward them as Daryl held the gun level. This was it. He was going to have to kill Shane.

Then just as quickly as he had appeared Shane went back the way he came. Daryl didn't move an inch until he saw the man disappear into the woods. Letting out the breath he had been holding, he let go of Sophia has he stood up.

"Come on." Opening the passenger door of the SUV he found Carl in a state of near panic.

"Are the walkers gone?" Daryl looked at him confused before he nodded.

"Yeah they're gone."

They needed to get the hell out of there and fast. Looking around Daryl went over his options. They needed a car. There was no telling where Shane went or when he would be back. There was no way he could out run him with two kids.

A black sedan sat near the back of the pile up. Relatively undamaged Daryl thought it would be their best shot. Looking at Carl and Sophia he pointed toward the yellow car about ten feet away. "Go back to the car and get all the food you can carry, ok?" Carl nodded eager to have something to get his mind off what just happened.

Sophia stood there and watched Daryl unwilling to move. He was about to yell at her but stopped when he saw the frightened look on her face. "Why are we running from Shane?"

Daryl's heart stopped for a second. She must have seen him. Stopping what he was doing he put his hands on her hips and looked at her seriously. "What I'm going to tell you stays between you and me. Don't tell Carl. I mean it."

Sophia nodded. She was a good secret keeper. "I promise, I won't."

Sighing Daryl, looked over to where Carl was filling his arms with groceries. "Soph," it was the first time he had called her by a nickname. It made her feel warm inside. "I…I think he's dangerous. I think he isn't right in the head. He wants to take Carl away from us, away from his family." Sophia's eyes widened. This was serious. "Carl won't believe me, though. He trusts Shane." Daryl looked around before he knelt down in front of her. "You have to promise that you won't say anything to Carl. Promise me, Sophia. Not a word."

Nodding she bit her lip. "I promise." Daryl nodded. She seemed to understand. Now he could only hope she kept her mouth shut.

Standing back up Daryl went to work prying the car door open. The latch left loose as Carl came over dropping the groceries on the pavement. Daryl nodded at him. "Good." The car was empty, thank God. Daryl looked around. No keys. Fucking great.

Over his shoulder he heard a hissing sound. Looking up he saw Sophia staring at something her eyes wide with fear. Walkers. A whole herd of them weaved through the cars as Daryl felt his stomach flip.

"Sophia, get in the car." Without hesitation she climbed into the passenger seat. Pulling his gun out of his waistband Daryl handed it to Carl. "If they get close just start shooting them." Carl swallowed hard.

Kneeling down, Daryl pulled the wiring out from under the steering column. Using his knife he cut the wires. Sophia was starting to cry as he heard Carl's heavy breathing behind him. He didn't have much time. Wrapping two wires together he cursed when nothing happened.

"Daryl….Daryl…" Sophia was starting to freak out as he could hear the herd bearing down on them.

Two more wires crossed; nothing. "Dammit." His fingers twisted two more together; nothing.

"Hurry Up! HURRY UP!" Carl was getting frantic. They had to be right there.

He only had two wires left unless he had lost track. Crossing them he prayed that this was it. The engine turned over as the car roared to life. Standing up he took the gun out of Carl's shaking hands and popped two walkers that were within arm's reach. Throwing the boy into the car. He closed the door, dropping it into reverse. Weaving backwards through the mess, Daryl was never so happy to see open road. Pulling a U-turn he slammed the gas down and gunned the vehicle in the opposite direction.

They rode in silence for a few minutes before Carl finally spoke up. "Why didn't you kill them?"

"Who?"

"The walkers."

Daryl shook his head. "There were too many of them."

Carl shook his head. "No before. When you told me to hide in the car. You could have killed them with your crossbow."

Daryl shot Sophia a look but she kept her eyes trained out the window. He was silent for a moment. Looking in the rearview mirror he met Carl's eyes. "Carl…things are different now. The things I used to do before I can't do anymore. I can't just run around killing walkers whenever I feel like it."

Carl looked confused. "Why not?"

"I used to do that and I was reckless. I would square off on a group a geeks and pop everyone of them not caring if another one was creeping up on me. I figured if something got me…what would it matter? As long as I went out on my own terms, who really cared if I was dead?" They were both staring at him now. "Sure you guys would have missed all the BBQ squirrel but…" he trailed off meeting their eyes for the first time. "All I'm saying is before it didn't matter if I didn't come home at the end of the day. Now I need to worry about you and Sophia. I can't do the things I used to do because I need to be here for you guys." He said far more than he intended to but it seemed to work as Carl sat down in the back seat with a nod.

"Hey Daryl…"

"Yeah?"

"Remember when I told you that being a mechanic was useful? That you could fix a broke down car if we needed to get away from a herd of walkers?"

Daryl smirked, "I remember."

"Bet you're glad you became something useful…like a mechanic." Daryl smiled for the first time in a while. Glancing in the rearview mirror he met Carl's eyes.

"Hey Carl….Thanks."

They drove for a few miles before Daryl stopped at a gas station. It was run down and had clearly been raided. Telling Carl and Sophia to wait in the car he cleared the building finding no one. There was also no food and no water. Sighing he returned to the car slamming the door.

"It's picked clean." Daryl wasn't too familiar with this part of Georgia although he reasoned that they would run into a shopping center eventually if they just stayed on the highway.

"Where are we going?" Sophia asked as they merged back onto the deserted highway.

"We need to find a proper place to sleep tonight and some more food and water." From the back seat Carl moaned a little. "Besides, we can't go south. The road's blocked. We need to find another way around that traffic."

"Than what?"

Daryl sighed, Carl would never give up on Rick. "Then we make for Fort Bening."

"What if he's not there."

Daryl looked out the side window at the passing landscape. "He'll be there."

The gas gauge on the car was inching toward empty when a Wal-Mart suddenly appeared off to the right. It was the best thing he had seen yet. Food, clothing, ammo….this could be a gold mine. Pulling up the front door they got out. The doors were chained shut. Walking around the side of the building he found a small window. Carl and Sophia watched as he pushed a dumpster over. Climbing up he peered inside. It looked like some kind of office. Regardless there was no one there. Pulling the gun out he used the butt end to break the glass. A searing pain went through his hand as he realized that he was cut. Blood tricked down his fingers as he tried to stop it with the front of his shirt.

Clearing the glass completely away he turned toward Carl and Sophia. "Jump up here." Carl was able to pull himself up but he needed to pull Sophia up. Boosting Carl up and through the window he watched as the boy landed on his feet. Turning around, he lifted Sophia and then crawled through himself.

The door was unlocked as they came out into a back room of sorts. They stayed behind Daryl as he kept his cross bow raised. The lock on the front door was a good sign. Hopefully everyone bolted before the place got overrun. The main store area was dark except for the rays of sunlight coming down through the skylights. Daryl would need to clear this whole store before he was satisfied that they were safe. Walking around the perimeter he scanned each aisle as Carl and Sophia stayed close behind. When he was done he put down his cross bow and breathed a sigh of relief. They were alone.

When Carl saw this he eagerly ran off toward the food section, Sophia not far behind. Looking down at his bleeding hand, Daryl walked toward the first aid supplies. Dumping some peroxide over the cut he winced hoping that he didn't have a piece of glass stuck in there. Clumsily he ripped open a roll of gauze as he tried his best to wrap it around his fingers.

"Want some help?" Sophia stood there a bag of chips in one hand and a new doll in the other. Daryl grunted; he could handle this. Dropping her new finds, she walked over to him. "You're doing it all wrong." Taking the gauze from his hand she began wrapping it around his palm first and then each knuckle so that it didn't move. Daryl just watched her. When she was done she tucked the end inside so that it wouldn't come unraveled. Looking at her hesitantly he nodded. He was afraid to know why she could bandage wounds so effectively. "I got my first aid badge in girl scouts last year." He breathed out. Girl scouts, of course.

Carl had pulled out some of the bedding and was making a nest on the floor. Sophia eagerly went over to join him when she saw the board games he had snagged. Daryl walked past them to the ammo. He hoped that the place wasn't raided. When he rounded the corner to sporting goods his eyes lit up. Guns; still in their glass cases like the world had never gone to shit. He was pretty set with his cross bow and the .9mm Glock in his waistband but he had been thinking that Carl should probably have a gun too. He didn't like the idea but he had to face reality. Something could happen to him, God it killed him to even think about it, but it could happen. If it did, he would want them to have a fighting chance. Scanning the case of pistols he found a small revolver. Jumping the counter he pried the lock off as he reached inside. It was a nice gun. Not too heavy but with the right amount of weight and balance. Grabbing a couple boxes of bullets, he headed back toward where he left Carl and Sophia. Putting the gun high up on a shelf, he would give that to Carl when they left.

Looking up Daryl realized that the sun was beginning to set as the light in the store started to dim. Sitting back against the shelf he adjusted the pillow behind his head. Carl had passed out a while ago, curled up in a mess of pillows. Smiling Daryl was relieved at the prospect of actual sleep for the first time in days. Suddenly Sophia appeared standing over him with a book that she had found. Stepping over his legs she sat down next to him. He looked at her half hoping that she would lay down next to Carl and go to sleep.

"What?" He could tell she wanted something. Handing him a book he looked at him expectantly.

Daryl looked at the front cover. "Goodnight Moon". His breath hitched in his throat. This had been one of his favorites a child. He read it every night until he memorized the words. He remembered the day he came home and his favorite story was sitting on the top of the garbage pile, pages ripped to shreds.

"Will you read it to me?" Her voice startled him out of his thoughts. Handing the book back he felt a wave of unwanted emotion come over him. How many times had he asked someone to read that book to him and been denied, called a name, and sent to bed crying.

"You can read." Sophia pushed it back towards him.

"My momma always used to read it to me." Her voice quivered and her eyes glazed over and Daryl couldn't refuse.

Taking the book he opened it to the first page. Taking a deep breath he started, "In the great green room there was a telephone. And a red balloon. And a picture of the cow jumping over the moon."

Sophia sat back as she inched closer to him. "And there were three little bears sitting on chairs. And two little kittens and a pair of mittens. And a little toy house and a young mouse."

He felt her lean against his arm. It made him even more uncomfortable if that was even possible at this point. "And a comb and a brush. And a bowl full of mush. And an old lady who was whispering 'Hush'."

Daryl sighed. He needed to get over himself and look at this from her point of view. A neglected child for sure, Sophia had probably spent most of her life searching for a strong, protective male figure. In addition to that, she had just spent a week alone in the woods not knowing if she was going to live or die. Every ounce of her craved a sense of security and for some reason she thought he could give her that. God, how many times did he want that as a child? Too many. If he could give that to someone else he should feel good and not like he was doing something wrong. Shifting his body weight he moved his arm and she immediately scooted next to him. Putting his arm around her narrow shoulders, he brought her closer to him. He could feel her relax as she rested her head against his chest. The rhythmic beating of his heart brought back a familiar sense of comfort. Turning the page, Daryl continued.

"Good night room. Goodnight moon. Good night cow jumping over the moon. Good night light and the red balloon." Daryl flipped the page. "Good night bears. Good night chairs. Good night kittens. Good night mittens. Good night clocks. Good night socks. Good night little house. Good night mouse. Good night comb. Good night brush."

Sophia let her eyes slip closed; the sound of his raspy voice vibrating in his chest soothing her. "Good night nobody. Good night mush. Good night to the old lady whispering 'Hush'. Good night stars. Good night air. Goodnight, noises everywhere."

**Words taken from the Children's book "Goodnight Moon."**

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	5. Chapter 5

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** I love hearing what everyone thinks! I hope that the direction of this story is something that people want to read. Fear not, Daryl and the kids will have many more trials and tribulations before there is any sort of resolution. Thank you to those who took time to review. I really appreciate it!

**Summary:** Daryl and Carl go out looking for Sophia and get separated from the group. Alone with two kids, Daryl must keep his own demons at bay while protecting them from not only the dead but also a very dangerous person who has nothing to lose.

**Chapter Five**

" _Cause I don't need boxes wrapped in strings_

_And designer love and empty things_

_Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days"_

Daryl's eyes fluttered open as the bright morning sun shone through the skylight. His arm was numb as he realized that he was still holding Sophia next to him. Looking down he saw that the girl was still blissfully asleep. Careful not to disturb her, he pulled his arm out. Sitting up he wiped the sleep out of his eyes. He didn't think that he had slept that good in a long time. Sophia didn't stir as all the fear and worry had drained from her face and she looked like a kid again. A small smile came to his face; he had never had someone rely on him. Those kids needed him and in an ugly world like this that sense of purpose was enough to keep him going.

Pushing himself up, Daryl looked over at Carl. His brow was relaxed as his lips were slightly parted. Just like Sophia he looked like the child that he was. Daryl's eyes wandered to the gun and bullets sitting up on the shelf. He wished that he could give Carl a comic book and not a gun. He wished that these kids had a home, and a room, and a dog to run around the yard with. He wished that they had a family and a normal life. He would trade anything for them not to go through this. But that wasn't reality anymore.

Sighing, Daryl started planning their next move. They needed to keep moving, try to find Rick, and above all else stay away from Shane. Grabbing a couple backpacks off the shelf he was careful about what he took. They needed some supplies but they also needed to keep moving. The car was out of gas and he hadn't seen a service station for miles. So he couldn't take more than what they could carry. It was hard in a place like this where so many things they needed were ripe for the taking.

It was late September and while the days were still hot, the nights were starting to get colder. Perusing the sleeping bags, Daryl selected the lightest one. Afraid of bogging them down too much he reasoned that Carl and Sophia could share. He would manage without one for now. Moving on he grabbed a few rolls of gauze and a bottle of peroxide; hopefully they would never need it. Browsing the store, Daryl relished the peace for a moment. It felt good to be able to walk around without looking his shoulder every five seconds. Daryl stopped when he passed a mirror. Taking a few steps back he paused. He looked absolutely terrifying. His beige sleeveless shirt hung off his frame. He had lost weight over the last few months; although he hadn't really noticed until right then. Leaning in, he ran a hand over the stubble on his chin. His face was caked with dirt and grime as his hair was greasy and stuck to his forehead. Eyes wandering down he settled on the dried blood that caked his pants and shirt. Trying to think back he reckoned that he hadn't changed his clothes in over a week. Looking around the men's department he reasoned this was as good of a time as any.

Wandering through the aisles, he picked out a dark green t-shirt as he fingered the soft material. He hadn't something new to wear in so long he couldn't remember. Undoing the buttons of his shirt he winced, as he was still incredibly sore from the past few days. The constant tension probably wasn't helping matters either. For some reason he just couldn't relax.

Carl had awoke with a start as the bright sun shone down in his face. Pushing himself up off the blanket he looked at Sophia's sleeping form. At first he moved to wake her but she seemed so peaceful that he just let her sleep. Walking around he searched for Daryl; eager to find out what the plan was for the day. Shuffling around the store Carl checked the sporting goods first. There was no sign of Daryl but that didn't stop Carl from stopping to admire the awesome looking rifles in the glass case. Pressing his nose against the barrier he wondered if he could ever convince Daryl to let him have a gun of his own. Pushing back with a sigh, Carl thought of his dad. Would they ever find him? What about his mom? Was she ok? What if there were all separated. Could they ever find each other again? Carl shook his head. He didn't want to think about it.

Wandering into the clothing, Carl thought he heard a sound coming from across the way. Crouching down he was careful not to make too much noise. It could be Daryl, or it could be something else. Crawling under a rack of coats Carl poked his head up through the center. He used to love to do this when he was a kid; it would drive his mother crazy. Carefully, parting two of the coats, Carl stayed low and crouched down. Peering across the aisle he visibly relaxed when he say it was just Daryl. Letting the coats go, Carl was about to crawl out from under the rack when his eye caught something. Bright sunlight filtered down through the skylight causing the store to be illuminated in a streaked, hazy brightness. Blinking Carl peered out from his hiding spot. Daryl shrugged his dirty beige shirt onto the floor as he fumbled to rip the tag off something else. Turning around, Carl's breath hitched when he saw the scars on Daryl's back and chest. Some were deep and easy to see, others were faint. Carl could do nothing but stare. He had never seen anything like it before. Abuse was a foreign concept to him. Sure he knew that it happened, but not to him. His father would never even think about laying a hand on him or his mother. He knew everyone was not so lucky though.

When Carl was about ten years old he was sleeping over at his friend Derek's house. He had met the boy a couple years ago playing little league and they had been friends ever since. Carl's eyes slipped closed as he remembered one of the most terrifying nights of his life.

_Pulling his sleeping bag close around his body, Carl finally laid down on the floor to go to sleep. He and Derek had spent all night playing video games and talking about baseball. Derek's mom had made them pizza and popcorn and Carl was having a good time. He had never stayed over at Derek's house before and suddenly he wondered why._

_Around midnight Derek's mom insisted that they go to bed. Easily complying they went to Derek's room and giggled about their teachers or the newest video game before exhaustion eventually began to set in. Carl laid on the floor listening to Derek's mom move about downstairs. His father had been conspicuously missing all night. Carl didn't know much about Mr. Sanders. Derek rarely spoke of him and Carl never saw him at any of the little league games or school functions. Derek was also very guarded about Carl coming over to his house, always insisting that they meet up at the Grimes'. Honestly, Carl couldn't figure out why but he didn't press it. Derek was one of his best friends and he didn't want to cause any trouble between them._

_Just as Carl was drifting off to sleep he heard the door slam. Above him, Carl heard Derek sit up in bed, breathing heavily. Sitting up himself, Carl looked at his friend quizzically._

" _Are you ok?"_

_Derek nodded quickly composing himself. "Yeah….uh just go back to sleep, OK?"_

_Carl stared at his friend for a moment before lying back down. The house was quiet again as Carl closed his eyes._

" _WHERE ARE YOU, BITCH?" Carl jumped at the sound. Was he dreaming or did he really hear that?_

_A loud crash came from downstairs as he heard a whimper and then a scream. Sitting bolt upright, Carl almost screamed out loud._

" _Derek?!" The other boy was lying in bed, covers pulled up over his head. Carl's breath quicken as he got out of his sleeping bag. "DEREK?!" Shaking the lump under the covers Carl got no response. Downstairs he heard a sickened pop as a fist connected with something solid._

_Underneath the covers Carl heard a whimpering sound. His heart was pounding; he didn't know what to do. "Derek! What's going on?"_

_The covers peeled back as the boy stared at Carl with wide eyes. "Just lay down. He'll stop soon."_

_Carl looked at him confused, "Who?"_

" _My dad." Downstairs Carl heard a kitchen chair slide across the tile floor and then a thud. What if she needed help? Derek had disappeared back under the covers and Carl didn't know what to do. Creeping slowly to the door he cracked it looking out into the hallway. There was an eerie glow coming from the down stairs and Carl crept out along the hallway. Hovering near the top of the stairs he peered downstairs. He could barely make out someone lying on the floor. Craning his neck to get a better view he nearly toppled over as a large, burly man came around the corner. He had never seen Derek's father before but he guessed that the intimidating figure standing in front of him was it._

" _WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" Carl froze; he should have lain back down like Derek told him to. He had no frame of reference for something like this, though. Carl looked up as he stuttered._

" _I….uh…I" Fear shot down his spine as he struggled to speak._

_The man leaned toward Carl flicking the hallway light on. Studying him for a second a sick grin broke out over his face, "You're that Grimes boy." Carl was frozen with fear._

" _Yeah…I know you. You belong to the sheriff." The grin faded from the man's face as a look of darkness came over him. "Who the fuck invited you here?"_

" _I did." At the top of the stairs Derek stood literally shaking in his shoes. Pushing past Carl, Mr. Sanders made a beeline for Derek pushing the kid up against the wall. Derek let out a small cry although he tried to hold his ground. Without warning the older man wound up and punched Derek right in the chest. The air whooshed out of his lungs as he doubled over._

" _What's the matter with you, boy! Now he's going to run home and tell his daddy and they'll put your ass in a foster home! You want that huh? See your old man in jail? Your momma a nervous wreck?" Derek tried to catch his breath as he stared up at his father in fear. "I outta just beat that shit out of you for this.." Behind Carl Mrs. Sanders crawled up the stairs bloody and broken. Tears were in her eyes as she struggled to get to her son._

" _No…Curtis…please.." She begged him. The man ignored her pleas as she held Derek up by the shirt winding up again._

" _I won't say anything. I promise." Carl finally found his voice as he took a step toward the man. Letting his son go, the man regarded Carl curiously. Nodding Carl attempted to reaffirm his position. "I promise."_

_Leaning in to Carl he sneered, "You better promise, kid. Unless you want to see your friend there sent away." Derek looked at Carl, his face a mix of embarrassment and fear._

_Mr. Sanders didn't wait for a reply as he stalked past them up the stairs. True to his promise Carl never said a word, too afraid for what might happen to his friend. When he went home the next day his mother asked him if he had a good time. Carl said it was fine and that was the last time anyone in the Grimes' house heard or saw of Derek. The boys never spoke again and a year later the Sanders moved away. Eventually the trauma of that night faded but Carl never forgot it. After that he looked at his parents different. They were good people and they loved him. He was lucky._

Parting the coats Carl stared at Daryl as he pulled the green shirt over his head. Carl had gathered that Daryl had lived a life different from his own but in what way he didn't know. Now he knew. An image of Derek flashed through his mind. His friend that loved baseball and videogames and was so much fun to be around lived a secret life of terror. Carl sighed as he watched Daryl leaf through the flannel shirts, finally settling on a blue one. He felt bad for giving Daryl a hard time. Suddenly he wondered if Daryl had been slammed against the wall or punched in the chest like Derek had been. Had he hid in his bed at night just hoping that his old man would move along? Had he stood at the top of the stairs at night listening as this mother was beaten to a pulp? Carl didn't know. All he knew was that Daryl had lived a hard life. A life he didn't understand.

Crawling back out under the rack, Carl backtracked his way to Sophia. When he got to the blanket he was surprised to see the girl awake and brushing through her hair.

"Where were you?" She looked at him quizzically.

Carl shrugged. He wasn't going to sell Daryl out. "Just looking around."

Sophia nodded not quite convinced. "Where's Daryl?"

Carl gestured toward the other side of the store. "I think he's getting some supplies."

As if on cue Daryl appeared around the corner throwing some things down on the blanket. "You guys need to go find a change of clothes." Sophia shot up at the prospect of getting a new outfit while Carl begrudgingly joined. As they walked away, Daryl yelled after them, "Get something warm too."

They disappeared around the corner as Daryl sorted through the supplies. He had two backpacks; one for him to carry, the other Carl and Sophia could trade off when one started to complain. Sacking the canned food and medical supplies into one bag, Daryl saved the other for the sleeping bag, a blanket, and extra clothes. Looking down at the blanket he picked up two random objects that didn't really fit. During his browsing of the store, Daryl decided to get a small gift for both Carl and Sophia. Something he could give them if they did something good or, more likely, were traumatized. The complex motives behind the relatively simple action made Daryl stop for a moment. One part of him felt bad for them growing up in a world like this. Another part wanted them to like him and therefore cooperate with him. Despite the more superficial notions, the one that kept coming back was a deep-seated need he felt to treat them better than he was treated as a kid. Before the world went to shit Daryl had often wondered what it would be like to have kids. He never opened himself up completely and subsequently never had a relationship with a woman that lasted more a couple months. It disappointed him but it didn't stop him from wondering what kind of father he would be. Would he be just like his old man? Was the violence hereditary? The thought made him sick. A sense of sadness fell over him. His chances of becoming a father were slim before the apocalypse and now they no longer existed. Looking down, Daryl sighed as he realized that ship had long sailed. Sophia and Carl would probably be his one and only chance to prove to himself that he wasn't just like his father.

His thoughts were distracted as they came back around the corner. Sophia was decked out in a pink shirt and purple pants, grinning ear to ear with her selection. Carl thankfully had chosen an outfit that was a bit more muted. Standing up, Daryl put his hands on his hips as he smirked at Sophia.

"No." Her face fell as she looked at him indignantly.

"What do you mean, no?"

Daryl sighed, "You're not wearing that. We need to pick out something more…natural."

Carl jabbed her in the ribs. "See I told you. Walkers see you coming a mile away in that." Daryl was pretty sure that walkers weren't what they needed to be worried about but either way he was glad that he didn't need to elaborate. Taking Sophia by the hand, Daryl led her back to the clothing section. Daryl had never been shopping in the little girls' section a day in his life. He was taken aback by all the sparkles, pinks and purples. Looking back at Sophia he shrugged.

"Not much of a selection, huh?" She looked pleased by his frustration. Grabbing her hand again, Daryl drug her across the aisle over to the boy's section.

"No way! I'm not wearing boy's clothes. They're ugly and they're too big and…" Before she could continue Daryl thrust a black t-shirt and green cargo pants in her direction. Sophia looked over the clothes before dropping them on the floor. "These are ugly." Daryl smirked at her, undeterred by her criticism. Rifling through the rack he thrust a light blue t-shirt at her instead. It looked similar to the one she had just taken off minus the rainbow. Sophia took the shirt, running her fingers over it, although she was clearly unhappy. Picking the green pants up off the floor she gave Daryl a disgusted look as he shoved a black sweatshirt in her direction. Gathering the clothes up she went behind a rack to change. Daryl leaned against a display as he waited for Sophia to come out. When she did he couldn't help but to laugh. The clothes fit her alright and they would serve their purpose but the look on her face….oh the look on her face.

"What?" Daryl smirked at her.

Sophia looked herself up and down before whining, "I look ugly."

Daryl's face softened a bit as he walked over to her. Kneeling down in front of her, he noted the way she averted her eyes; refusing to look at him. "Sophia…" She still didn't look at him. "You look fine."

She shook her head. Daryl heard a sniff as her eyes took on a glassy appearance. She couldn't be this upset about clothing, could she? Taking one of her hands he looked at her with as much concern as he could muster. "What's wrong?"

She looked down as a tear rolled off her cheek. "It's…." Her voice was shaking, as Daryl couldn't believe this was happening. "My daddy would never let us buy new clothes. He said it was a waste of money." Daryl's heart sank. "I always had to wear old clothes to school. The kids….they made fun of me." Daryl felt a piece of his heart break for the little girl. He wanted to tell her that she could wear anything she wanted.

Licking his lips Daryl felt awkward. This wasn't something he was good at. Taking a deep breath he tried to put himself in Sophia's position. What would be the one thing he would want to hear right now if he were her? It took him a minute but eventually he broke the chorus of sobs coming from the little girl. "Oh Sophia…." She looked up at him for the first time. "I think…I think you're beautiful no matter what you wear." She smiled at little though clearly not believing him. "Don't worry about those kids that made fun of you." Staring at her he smirked a little, "Hey, they're probably all walkers now anyway." Sophia giggled at little. "Yeah with their hair all a mess and those pretty clothes all ripped up smellin' like death…" It beyond morbid but it made her laugh and he was relieved. Standing back up Daryl took Sophia by the shoulders regarding her seriously. His voice was low as he stared down at her. "Remember when I told you about, Shane? That he's dangerous?"

"I remember."

Daryl chewed on his thumb as he searched for the right words. "Well…he's still out there and I can't take a chance of him seeing us. So I need you to wear this; maybe blend in a little better that way." He shrugged it was the best he could do.

Sophia could hear the shift in Daryl's voice. The fear was back again. After a few seconds she looked back at him nodding still not completely satisfied. Seeing this in her, Daryl knelt back down. "How about this? You can take your other outfit and one day when we're safe you can wear it again."

Sophia didn't seem as happy as he thought she would be. Instead she looked up at him clearly puzzled, "Do you think we'll ever be safe again?"

The question hit him like a ton of bricks. Do you think we'll ever be safe again? What if they weren't? What if they spent the rest of their lives running and surviving? What if this was it and there were no better days? He swallowed hard, the possibility made him sick.

Daryl was speechless for a moment before he finally responded, "I hope so. I really hope so."

* * *

Rick sat in the driver's seat of the truck. He was alone as he stared at the traffic snarl. The sun had just dipped below the horizon as the world was bathed in an eerie orange glow. The farm had been completely over run as they were unable to even get close. Spending most of the day searching the woods, they were disheartened to find no sign of Carl, Daryl, or even Sophia.

As the sun began to set, Rick made the decision to call off the search. Sending the rest of the group back to the gas station, Rick went back to the highway to pick up T-Dog. Only when he showed up T-dog was nowhere to be found. Poking through the cars it didn't take Rick long to hear the buzzing. He felt sick. He didn't want to look but he did. Lying behind a wreck SUV was T-Dog on the ground ripped to shreds. Rick couldn't stop the bile from rushing up in his throat as he heaved all over the blood stained pavement.

Walkers had feasted on the man's body to the point that he was barely recognizable. The telltale gun shot wound in the middle of his forehead now obscured by a mess of hamburger looking flesh. As far as Rick knew he had been attacked by a group of walkers. The only thing he couldn't figure out is why he hadn't turned. Eyes scanning the ground Rick saw no sign of T-Dog's weapon. Shaking his head it didn't add up.

Now as he sat in the truck he struggled to find a way to tell the others that their companion was gone. Even more than that he struggled to find justification to keep searching for his son. If it was up to Rick he would search the ends of the earth for Carl, but he knew that after today he would probably have to do that alone. The farm was dead end for sure. There was no way anyone would survive there. The woods were empty, not even a track or a sign anywhere. The highway was dangerous. Manpower was at an all time low. With T-Dog gone that left himself, Hershel and Glenn. Rick needed to keep the group together as he knew his chances of survival in this world alone were slim to none. But Carl was his son and he couldn't just walk away.

* * *

When Daryl and Sophia got back to Carl the boy was sitting on the blanket reading a book he had found. Glancing up at the shelf there was still one thing that they needed to do.

"Hey Carl." Daryl gestured for Carl to follow him as Sophia hung back. The two of them walked around the row of shelves until Daryl stopped. Unwrapping the towel in his hand he showed Carl the gun.

The boy's eyes widened as he looked at Daryl in disbelief. "For me?!"

Daryl breathing heavily he didn't like this but it was necessary. Nodding he handed the gun to Carl. The boy took it in his hand looking at it in awe. Getting down on one knee he looked Carl in the eye. The boy smiled at this. He didn't agree with everything Daryl told him but he did like that the man treated him and Sophia as equals. When he wanted to tell them something he important he got down and looked them right in the eye. He didn't stand over them and talk down like so many other adults. He treated them like they mattered.

"Carl I don't want to give this to you, OK?" Carl deflated slightly. "But I think you need it. I want you to know how to use it and take care of it. It isn't a toy and if I catch you screwing around with it I'm going to take it away."

Carl took Daryl's words to heart before nodding, "I won't let you down, Daryl. I promise." Daryl bit his lip. He was going to need to make a leap of faith on this one and just trust him. It was hard…harder than he expected.

Standing back up he regarded Carl with a nod. Opening the box of bullets he dumped a few into his hand. "Do you know how to load it?"

Carl swung the chamber open and pushed the bullets into the slots. Apparently he had picked up a thing or two hanging around his dad and Shane. Closing the chamber he looked back up at Daryl who nodded his approval.

"Good." Daryl unrolled a target that he took off the shelf. Tacking it up on a wall about 10 yards away he nodded toward Carl who raised the gun. Sophia appeared and stood behind them looking nervous

Carl squeezed the trigger causing a loud bang to reverberate through the store. Sophia jumped as she reflexively covered her ears. A small puff of smoke and the smell of gunpowder hung between them as Daryl craned his neck to see what Carl hit. The white wall had a small hole about a foot left of the target as Daryl took in the dejected look on Carl's face. Slapping the kid on the shoulder he shook his head.

"Good. Now aim a little more to the right." Carl perked up a bit at Daryl's encouragement. Adjusting his aim Carl squeezed the trigger again. Even though she was expecting it the bang caused Sophia to jump again this time bumping into Daryl. Turning around he saw the nervous look on her face. Grabbing her by the shoulders he brought her next to him. Pressing her right ear against his side, Daryl covered the other with his left hand. Winking at her, he felt the girl relax against him. Squinting his eyes to see what Carl hit, he was pleased to see a hole in the target. "You hit it that time." Carl peered over the outstretched gun as he looked back at Daryl smiling ear to ear.

Daryl smiled back before gesturing for Carl to fire off the rest of the rounds. When he was done, Daryl let go of Sophia and walked ahead pulling the target down off the wall. Rolling it up he handed it to Carl. "Can I keep it?"

Daryl shrugged. "Don't bother me." Carl's face instantly lit up. Folding the paper neatly he pocketed it. Daryl proceeded to show Carl how to make sure all the rounds had been fired and that safety was on. Carl's chest puffed out slightly when he pocketed the weapon….his weapon.

Looking over at Sophia Daryl had briefly considered giving her a gun too but quickly decided against it. She was very skittish. Even the sound of a gunshot caused her to jump. He didn't know if that was how she had always been or if the time she spent out there alone had left her nerves frayed. Either way he didn't trust her to carry any kind of weapon.

"Now what?"

Daryl sighed. It was early afternoon. They needed to get moving if they wanted to cover any kind of ground before nightfall. "Now we get moving."

They made quick work packing up their things and leaving the store the same way they came in. The car was no longer and option as they were out of gas. Unfortunately Daryl didn't see another car or gas station in sight. Trudging past their ride, Daryl unfolded the map he had taken from the store. He had paid attention to the signs on the interstate. Tracing his finger along the map he found what he thought was their current location. Surprisingly they were much farther north than he expected. Eyes following the highway south he reasoned that Fort Bening was probably a good eighty miles away; a very long time to be walking especially with two kids. Still he had no other idea about where to go. There were only three places they ever talked about; the farm, the highway, and Fort Bening. With the first two out, they only had one option left.

Walking back up to the highway they followed the road for a little while before Daryl suggested that they duck into the forest. He didn't want to wander too far but he also didn't like the idea of being so exposed. If Shane was still out there, and he was sure of that, they needed to move in an area that provided cover.

The trio walked for what seemed like forever. Eventually the skies began to darken and Daryl started to think about shelter for the night. Just as he was beginning to weigh his options, the clouds lifted as he spotted a small shack up ahead. Motioning for them to stay behind him, Daryl stepped ahead quietly. There was no telling what could be holed up in there. Walking around the perimeter he was satisfied to find the structure intact. Joining him by the door, Carl had his gun at his side as Sophia stood behind him.

"Wait here." Raising the crossbow Daryl cautiously opened the door not knowing what to expect. A musty stench greeted his nostrils as he gingerly stepped inside. The structure was small as he could easily see every corner at one time. Breathing a sigh of relief he gestured for Carl and Sophia to come inside. Barring the door behind him, Daryl took a good look around. A small table with a single chair and a mattress on the floor; it was certainly nothing to write home about. It looked like anyone who had been there had left long ago. Daryl was satisfied that they wouldn't have to sleep outside.

"We'll stay here tonight." Carl nodded although Sophia looked a bit apprehensive. Eyes wandering to the door he could see she was worried about their security. "You two get the sleeping bag out. Get some sleep. I'll stay up and keep watch."

Daryl could almost see a protest forming on Carl's lips. Now that the boy had a gun and knew how to use it, he fancied himself as Daryl's second in command. Maybe one day just not yet. Carl never said anything as exhaustion finally won over his desire to feel like a grown up.

Darkness settled over the shack as Daryl propped his feet up on the table. Crossbow lying in his lap he kept his eyes trained on the door.

Behind him Carl and Sophia lay side by side on the mattress underneath the unzipped sleeping bag. "Hey Daryl?"

"Yeah?"

"Where'd you get your gun?" Carl's curious voice broke the silence.

Daryl let out a soft chuckle. "I bought it off a friend in Atlanta."

"What's so funny?" Sophia broke into the conversation clearly not understanding the humor.

"Oh nothing. I'm just guessin' Carl can't figure out why a good old country boy has a gun like that."

In the dark, Carl turned red. How did Daryl do that? Over the past few days Carl had noticed that he was very perceptive. Pretty much nothing got by him.

There as no response from the boy and Daryl guessed that he was right. "Will you tell us a story? A story from your life before."

Sophia's voice made Daryl wince a little. His life "before" hadn't been much of a fairytale. "Yeah…tell us about how you got the gun."

Sophia groaned but didn't say anything. Daryl swallowed hard as he started talking. "A couple years ago the auto shop where I worked laid me off. So I got a job working construction on this highway project down in Atlanta. Found an apartment and…"

Before he could continue Carl butted in. "You lived in the city?"

Daryl rolled his eyes although he knew that they couldn't see. "Yes, believe it or not I lived in Atlanta for a year."

"Where did you hunt? What did you do?"

Daryl smirked at Carl's implication that he couldn't survive in the city. True he was a country boy at heart, but that didn't mean that he never experienced anything else. It wasn't natural at first but eventually Daryl got used to it. He even liked it a little bit.

"I didn't hunt. I went to the grocery store like every other normal human being." He could hear Carl snickering in the dark, thinking about him pushing a grocery cart around. "Anyway, yes I lived in Atlanta. While I was there one of my friends mentioned that her brother wanted to get rid of a gun. He said he would sell it to me for cheap so I didn't ask too many questions. We did the paperwork and that was it."

Actually that wasn't it. Eyes slipping closed Daryl let the memory come rushing back to him.

_Christina stared at him across the table. It was hard to believe that they had been dating for two months. That was almost two months longer than anyone else he had ever known. He liked her; they really click and it had been nice. She wasn't satisfied, though. For the past week or two she had been pestering him for sex. He wanted it there was no doubt about that. It's just that he didn't want her to see him without a shirt. The scars on his back and chest were frightening and he was sure that she would want to know about them. Of course he had been with women in the past but he never had to face them the next day or any day after that. Christina wasn't going to walk out of his life tomorrow and he wasn't sure that he could look her in the eye if she knew…really knew about him._

_So he put her off and put her off and put her off until they had come to this point. She didn't trust him anymore. Thought that he was screwing someone else on the side and that's why he didn't want her. Even accused him of being gay. Can you believe that? Daryl fucking Dixon gay? He didn't say a word though, just let her go. And like that the only woman who had ever gotten even remotely close to him was gone._

_Daryl sat at the kitchen table after she left sliding the clip in and out of the gun her brother had sold him earlier that day. The window was open as the hot summer breeze moved the curtains. Down below sirens echoed in the street as he stared straight ahead sliding the clip back and forth._

"I have to go to the bathroom." Carl whined out as Daryl was pulled back to reality.

Standing up he motioned for Carl to open the door. "Go ahead, I'll come with you." Stepping outside Daryl held the crossbow as he stood next to the door.

Carl looked at him hesitantly. "What?"

"I have to you know…"

He had to take a shit. Daryl rolled his eyes gesturing toward one of the bushes. It was dark as the boy ventured away from him into the bushes. "Carl…Don't go too far now."

Ignoring him, Carl felt more confident with his gun at his side. Venturing about fifteen feet away he felt squatted down behind a bush. Over his shoulder in the dark he could see Daryl standing in the doorway. Carl finished and was pulling up his pants when he heard a twig snap behind him. What he thought was a hiss and moan sent chills down his spine as he forgot about the gun and did what any kid would do. He ran.

Charging back through the bushes toward Daryl his foot caught something unexpectedly as he was lurched forward. Without a moment to break his fall, Carl stumbled face first into a rock. Blood instantly spurted from his nose and mouth as tears sprung up in his eyes. Struggling to his feet he continued running toward Daryl although at that point he couldn't really be certain which way he was heading.

Daryl pulled a small flash light out as he saw a commotion in the bushes. Taking a few steps toward the area he was hesitant to yell anything out. Jesus Christ what if Shane was out there somewhere. In a second Carl burst out of the undergrowth. Shining the light on the boy Daryl's heart dropped when he saw the blood coming out of his nose and mouth. He had got bitten. Daryl dropped the crossbow as his eyes met Carl's terrified expression. Bending down he opened his arms as Carl ran into him. Without a second thought he carried the boy into the shack.

Pure fear pumped through his veins as he lay Carl down on the table. Daryl's hands were shaking as he pulled the boy's shirt up over his head. Sitting him up Carl sputtered and coughed blood all over Daryl's face but he didn't care. All he could think about was that he failed. Carl was his to protect and care for. Three days…that was all he lasted with him. Daryl felt sick.

By that time Sophia had come over and was near panicked as she laid eyes on her friend's bloody face. Searching his body, Daryl couldn't find a bite mark. Pulling his pants off Carl wheezed as tears mixed with blood and ran down his face. Scanning his near naked body, Daryl let out a breath, as he couldn't find a single mark.

"You didn't get bit?" Carl shook his head as he gasped for air. Fumbling with one of the packs, Daryl pulled out a wad of gauze and began cleaning Carl's face off. Leaning over the boy spit blood in the floor as he was finally able to breath a little.

"No. I fell. I thought….I thought I heard a walker coming up." Daryl visibly relaxed. Gesturing for Sophia to come over he held the flash light up for her.

"Hold this up, Ok?" She nodded still clearly upset. Carl shivered in the cold shack as Daryl realized that he should probably put the boy's clothes back on. Helping him get dressed he lifted Carl back onto the table as he examined his face. His nose was still oozing blood as Daryl pinched it with a piece of gauze guiding his head down. Carl was breathing heavy as adrenaline continued to pump through his body. Leaning against the table Daryl shook his head. "Gave me a good scare, boy."

Carl said nothing still clearly shaken up. Elbowing him gently Daryl lowered his tone, "You're ok now. Just calm down." They stayed that way for a little while. Eventually Daryl's back started to hurt. Lifting Carl's head he was dismayed to see that his nose was still bleeding slightly.

Gesturing toward the mattress Daryl sat down against the wall, guiding Carl down next to him. Holding the gauze over the boy's nose he stretched his legs out. Hopefully they wouldn't need to stay that way much longer. Sophia stood by nervously with the flash light still pointed at Carl. Pulling his crossbow to within arm's reach he pointed toward the door.

"Shine that light over there a second." Satisfied that it was bolted and secure, Daryl pulled the gauze away from Carl's nose. It had finally stopped bleeding. By that time Sophia had sat down on the other side of him still looking very wired and nervous.

Daryl made a move to get up but Carl stopped him. "Can you stay here?"

It was a surprise. Up until that point Carl had made it clear that he wanted to be trusted and treated like an adult. Looking at his pale, blood stained face Daryl surmised that what happened had really scared him. Sighing he reasoned that Carl wasn't the only one. Reluctantly sitting back Daryl was brought back to the realization that for all his talk Carl was still just a kid.

It was dark as Daryl scooted down on the mattress. Sophia curled up next to him like she had the night before. Feeling her relax against him he hesitantly put his arm around her. On the other side of him Carl kept his distance at first. In the darkness he heard the boy sniff a few times. Silently he wondered if there was really a walker in the woods or if Carl's imagination had gotten the best of him. He also wondered if there as something else in the woods; something more dangerous than a walker. A few minutes went by before Daryl felt Carl close the space between them. Reaching his arm around he patted the boy on the back once before letting his hand fall back onto the mattress.

The human contact felt good after such a close call. On either side of him Daryl felt both of the kids beginning to relax as exhaustion took over. In the dark a small smile played across his lips. Although he felt awkward like this, he also couldn't help but to feel somewhat satisfied. They looked to him for security and comfort. If they didn't they wouldn't be curled up next to him right now sleeping. How many times had he wanted this as a kid? Too many. The situation wasn't ideal but he was happy that he could give them something he had been searching for his entire life.

**Thanks for reading and please review!**

**Lyrics are from Goo Goo Dolls "Better Days"**


	6. Chapter 6

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** I know the last chapter was a little boring but I promise more action is on the way. Also I was wondering what you all would think about the introduction of an OC for Daryl at some point?

**Summary:** Daryl and Carl go out looking for Sophia and get separated from the group. Alone with two kids, Daryl must keep his own demons at bay while protecting them from not only the dead but also a very dangerous person who has nothing to lose.

**Chapter Six**

The lonely light of early morning illuminated the shack with a hazy glow. Sitting back in the chair, Daryl kicked his feet up on the windowsill. Staring out into the forest a million thoughts ran through his head. The most pervasive; however, was a simple question. _'Do you think we'll ever be safe again?'_ He hadn't really thought about it much; didn't want to think about it. He had always assumed that he would find Rick and the others eventually. But what if that never happened? What if this was it? The rest of their lives would be nothing but running and surviving. Now that was fine for him; he knew that he didn't deserve much better but it wasn't good enough for them.

Eyes wandering over to Carl and Sophia sleeping on the mattress he wondered how long he could keep this up. He had never considered the possibility of caring for them indefinitely. It wouldn't be easy but he would do it. He would do whatever it took to keep them safe.

Before all this happened his life hadn't had much purpose. His job was a dead end, he had no girlfriend or wife, no kids, and no real family. He was just kind of drifting along waiting for an opportunity that never came. At first he was surviving and hadn't had much time to think of anything else. After that he was looking for Sophia. Now he was taking care of them and for the first time his life had meaning. They depended on him and it scared the shit out of him. Until now he had never thought about anyone but himself. He wasn't selfish; there just never was anyone there before. His actions had never had consequences because until now no one cared if he made it home at night. If he had done something stupid and gotten himself killed would anyone have noticed? He didn't think so. He would have vanished from this world like he had never even existed.

Pushing himself up out of the chair, Daryl slung the crossbow over his shoulder. He wanted to scout ahead a bit without Sophia and Carl. Stepping over to Carl's sleeping form he gently shook the boy awake. "Carl…" he whispered careful not to disturb Sophia.

The boy rolled over looking at him through blurry eyes. " Yeah?" His voice was thick was sleep as he struggled to focus on Daryl's face.

"I'm going out huntin' and scoutin' for a while. Stay here, ok? I'll be back in a little bit. Keep the door locked and don't let nobody in."

Carl nodded, too sleepy to protest. Straightening back up Daryl reasoned that they would be safe there for a little while. He wouldn't go too far.

Opening the door he took in the early morning smell of the woods. Dirt and dewfall, the air still smelled the same that it always had even thought nothing was the same anymore. Rolling the sleeves of the flannel shirt down he carefully stepped through the woods as his mind began to wander again.

_Growing up Daryl wasn't really all that social with other kids or people in general. Part of it was because he didn't think another person in this world could understand what his life was like. He didn't trust people._

_When he was about ten years old there was a woman who lived down the street; her name was Viola. At first she would just smile at him as he walked past her house. Eventually she started saying hello. For a while Daryl didn't pay attention to her; wondering why the old bag wouldn't leave him alone. One day she was standing in front of her house with a paper bag. Thrusting it into his arms as he walked by she didn't stick around to hear him protest. Opening it hesitantly Daryl found a sandwich, apple, and cookie. She had made him a lunch to take to school. Up until that point, Daryl only ate lunch occasionally. A painfully thin boy, he had become accustom to having only one meal a day and that was if he was lucky. Once in a while Merle would slip him a few bucks but usually he was left staring into an empty refrigerator; his old man passed out drunk on the couch. He never told anyone at school about his life and usually spent lunch hiding out in the library reading a book that he wouldn't dare try to take home. The last think he wanted was some social worker type poking around his house. His daddy would beat him real good if that happened._

_He didn't understand why the old woman cared and as a kid he could never find the right words to ask. So he just took the lunches and never said a word. One day she wasn't there. At first he didn't think much of it but as the days went by he wondered what happened to the old lady. Then he saw the local sheriff in front of her house talking to a neighbor. He slowed down his steps hoping to hear some kind of news._

' _I heard her house was piled knee deep in garbage.'_

' _Such a shame. No one cared about her. They got her down at St. Maggie's now.'_

_His stomach twisted into knots. Why had this news upset him so much? He had never even spoken to the old woman. She cared about him; though, cared when no one else did. That night when Daryl's father was passed out on the couch he slipped out of the house. Cutting through the woods he took in the smell of wet dirt and the dewfall. It had always been the same and it comforted him slightly. He had to go see her. He had to tell her thank you. Tell her that she what did meant something to him. Tell her that he was sorry for not saying something sooner; for ignoring her all those times._

_St. Maggie's was the epitome of a rural hospital. Pretty much anyone could walk in at any time and no one stopped them. Everyone knew everyone else and there was never a reason not to trust someone. The setting sun had cast long shadows across the landscape as Daryl walked up to the front desk. Barely tall enough to clear the counter he stood on his tip toes. The old man on the other side leaned forward in his chair as he stared at the young boy curiously._

' _Viola Sykora, please.' The old man gave him a curious look before flipping through the papers on his desk._

' _Room 125.' He said nothing else as he walked over to the elevators jamming the up button. Daryl hated hospitals. They smelled funny and the lights always buzzed. Not to mention that there was no telling what they would do to you once they got you in there._

_Room 125 was at the end of the long corridor. The room was dark as he stepped into the doorway. Suddenly he had the urge to turn and run away. Taking a deep breath he steeled himself as he stepped into the room. In the dim light he could make out a figure in the bed. Inching closer his breath hitched in his throat when he saw. It was the old woman, no doubt about that but she looked so different. Her gray hair was dirty and messy on the pillow as he eyes were squeezed shut. Her mouth was hanging open as her bony fingers squeezed the bed rail in desperation. A strong odor burned his nostrils as he stood there in silence. He couldn't believe it._

_Finding his voice Daryl looked at her face studying it for any kind of reaction. 'Ma'am. I'm just here to say…' He trailed off. This was a lot for a kid to handle. 'Ma'am I just want to say thank you for what you did.' There was no reaction. Daryl took a deep breath. 'No one else ever cared if I had something to eat and…' Daryl felt a wave of emotion come over him as tears sprung up in his eyes. 'I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner.' Turning away he couldn't stay there anymore. Running out of the room, Daryl didn't stop running until he was home_

_The next day he overheard Merle talking to one of the neighbors. The old woman had died that night. She had been kind to him for no reason at all and now she was dead. There was never an obituary in the paper nor was there a funeral. He never did find out what happened to her body but he suspected the county buried her in a pauper's grave. Her house stood empty for several years until it starting falling apart and they eventually demolished it. It was like she had just been erased from the world. Gone without a trace as if she had never existed at all._

For a long time after that Daryl wondered if that would happen to him one day. If he would die alone in a sterile hospital room with no one who cared enough to even come claim his body. Looking up he scanned the trees. He had been walking for a while and was further away then he realized as he decided to turn back. People were dying at an alarming rate nowadays. He reckoned that the old customs didn't have much meaning in this new world. But still didn't stop him from hoping that one day someone would be there for him.

"Holy shit, man! I never thought I'd see you again!" Daryl's blood ran cold in his veins. This couldn't be happening. Looking up Shane stood above him on a ledge; his face a mix of surprise and malice.

Daryl just looked at him unable and unwilling to utter a single word. Internally he cursed himself. Why hadn't he been paying more attention! Scuffling down to forest floor Shane stood on front of him. Hands on his hips, his mouth turned up into a disgusted sneer. Daryl took in the shotgun slung over his shoulder, the pistol stuffed into his waistband, and the twelve-inch hunting knife hanging off his belt. Shane was armed to the teeth there was no question about that. Keeping his face devoid of any emotion he regarded Shane thoughtfully.

"Yeah I thought everyone was dead." No way would he give anything up to this psychopath.

Shane nodded as he looked out into the forest. "Who you with?"

"It's just me now." Lie. Daryl looked away; he was never a good liar.

Shane nodded humming a dubious reply. "Yeah? You ain't seen Carl have you?"

This time Daryl had to make it believable. Biting the inside of his cheek he forced himself to look Shane right in the eye. "I ain't seen no one." Shane regarded him thoughtfully for a moment before relaxing giving Daryl a smile that was hardly genuine.

"Well…come on man, you wanna pair up?" That was the last thing Daryl wanted to do. Shaking his head he tried to appear non-chalant.

"Nah. I'm just gonna try to find Merle. I'm done with groups; more trouble than what they're worth." His eyes wandered away hoping that Shane would believe it.

Shane nodded and was quiet for a second before reaching for the gun in his waistband. In one swift motion he pushed Daryl back against the rock face. Holding the gun to his head, Daryl struggled against Shane's grip. The other man was bigger, though, as he reasoned that he had himself a situation.

He couldn't believe that he had been this stupid. First he should have never gotten caught and now he should have seen the former cop going for his gun. He had so much on his mind that he wasn't thinking clearly and it was about to cost him. Daryl's heart pounded in his chest as fear pumped through his body. It wasn't Shane he was afraid of, nor was he scared of dying, the idea of leaving Carl and Sophia alone; however, terrified him.

"Listen to me you redneck fuck." Shane leaned in close his eyes narrowing at Daryl. "If you have Carl you tell me right fucking now. I mean it. If you're lying to me, I'll kill you."

Daryl struggled to push Shane off of him as he spat out indignantly. "Fuck you." Sneering, Shane let go of him with one hand as he wound up punching Daryl in the face so hard that the back of his head cracked off the rocks. For a second Daryl saw stars as he really wondered if Shane was just going to kill him. The cold metal of the gun barrel was pressed into his temple. Blood tricked out of his nose as he stared at Shane defiantly.

An image of T-Dog and Jimmy flashed through his mind. At this point there was nothing stopping him from pulling the trigger. Using all his strength Daryl pushed Shane backwards. The larger man tripped over a branch as his gun fell to the ground. Seeing what would probably be his only opportunity, Daryl pounced on Shane kicking him hard in the chest. Kneeling down Daryl punched him in the face as blood gushed out of his nose. Not relenting he kicked him in the side hard until Shane reached out and grabbed his foot. Falling to the ground, the larger man was on top of him in a second. Daryl felt the air whoosh out of his lungs as he felt Shane's fist connect with his side. If Shane got the better of him here he would kill him. There was no doubt about that.

Daryl's knee connected with Shane's groin as the other man reflexively rolled to the side in pain. Landing a devastating blow to the side of Shane's head, Daryl felt a surge of relief when he stopped moving. Jumping to his feet he kicked Shane lightly as a deep snoring sound came from his lips.

Taking a deep breath, Daryl wiped the blood off his face with the back his hand. He had to do something here. He couldn't let this happen again. Pulling the .9mm out of his waistband he paced back and forth for a second. He had never killed another human being; walkers didn't count. He had to do it, though, to keep them safe. Walking over to Shane he cocked the gun holding it level despite a fine tremor in his hand. He didn't think this would be so hard. Looking down the barrel at Shane's sleeping form his finger tensed on the trigger.

"No!" The sudden interruption caused Daryl to jump back. Carl was running towards him with Sophia not far behind. "NO! You can't kill him!" Throwing himself into the dirt next to Shane's sleeping form, Carl looked at Daryl incredulously. "What are you doing?!"

Putting the gun back into his pants Daryl tried to pull Carl up off the ground. Carl; however, had latched onto Shane's shirt and was desperately trying to shake the man awake. "Shane! SHANE!"

Yanking Carl up by his shirt Daryl threw the boy to the side roughly. "I thought I told you to stay put!"

Carl completely ignored Daryl's question as his sight remained focused on Shane. "Why did you hurt him?!" This was the moment Daryl was afraid of; it was the moment where Carl inevitably picked Shane over him.

"We gotta go, Carl." Behind him Sophia looked between Daryl, Carl and Shane with wide eyes.

Carl shook his head crawling back over to Shane, "No! I'm staying with Shane." Daryl felt his heart sink.

"That ain't an option, now get your ass up!" Daryl was getting scared and when he got scared he acting like a dick.

"FUCK YOU, DARYL! YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER!" The comment hurt more than Daryl would ever admit. Inside of him a million emotions began bubbling up as he acted the only way he knew how.

Grabbing Carl off the ground he smacked the boy across the face harder than he had intended to. Stumbling to the side, Carl's face was a mix of fear and confusion. As soon as he did it, Daryl regretted it. Clenching his hand into a fist, he felt himself shaking. Carl reached up and touched his face tentatively. Had that just happened?

"Carl…" Daryl started but before he could finish the boy was bolting away in the other direction. Blinking Daryl felt his chest tighten as his breath hitched in this throat. The forest began to blur together as he leaned against the rock for support. A memory coming back to him without warning.

' _Baby brother it's time you earn your stripes around here'._

_Merle stood over him in the back yard. Daryl was about twelve years old at the time although he could have passed for eight. Years of abuse and malnutrition had delayed his growth considerably. Merle had just turned eighteen and was hanging out in the backyard with some of his buddies. They were drunk and high and Daryl was at their mercy as usual._

' _Need to learn how to take a punch.' Merle muttered as he set his beer down. Daryl flinched knowing what was coming. In a split second, Merle slapped him hard against the face. His teeth rattled as he fell backwards against the porch. A sudden sharp pain radiated through his face as a sharp, stinging sensation caused the right side of his face to feel like it was on fire. The other boys laughed as Daryl crawled around on the ground trying to get his bearings._

_Before he could get up, someone's foot connected with his chest making him fly backwards. Daryl moaned in pain as tears inevitably sprung up in his eyes._

_Merle leaned over him with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth. 'Is those tears I see?'_

_Daryl didn't say anything; he just lay there trying to cover his face. 'I'll give you something to cry about you pussy'. Taking the cigarette out of his mouth he snuffed the burning end into Daryl's arm. Screaming in pain he begged Merle to stop. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing down his face as he writhed under his big brother's grasp. The other boys laughed and cheered._

The memory faded as Sophia shook him side to side. He struggled to focus on her frightening face as he slowly came back to reality.

"DARYL! DARYL!" Snapping back to the present he heard Shane moaning on the ground. "OH PLEASE! DO SOMETHING!"

Grabbing his crossbow, Shane's shotgun and pistol, he grabbed Sophia by the wrist as they set out in the same direction as Carl.

Almost immediately Daryl felt Sophia pull her wrist away from him as she kept her distance. Throwing a glance down at her, his heart sank. Fear. It was all over her face and that was nothing new but this time it made him sick because this time she was afraid of him.

He had never considered just how much their trust meant to him. Really it was everything to him right now. They were the only thing keeping him going. Looking down at his hand he realized that he was still shaking. Clenching his fist he took a deep breath. A long time ago he swore to him that he would never lay a hand on child. It made him sick to think that he might be just like his father. Carl's face flashed through his mind as he felt his chest clench tight. Maybe there was a reason he had never had any kids. Maybe it was God's way of sparing them a lifetime of abuse. Or maybe it was God's way of sparing him the truth. In the end he was no better than his father.

**Short chapter I know! I promise to get back soon with an update. Also please let me know what you think about the introduction of an OC for Daryl and if you like this story or if you're getting bored with it. Thanks !**


	7. Chapter 7

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** Thanks for all the feedback on the last chapter. I have thought about the OC idea and will probably save that for another story. Hope everyone continues to review and enjoy this story. Extra long and exciting chapter for the delay in updating

**Summary:** Daryl and Carl go out looking for Sophia and get separated from the group. Alone with two kids, Daryl must keep his own demons at bay while protecting them from not only the dead but also a very dangerous person who has nothing to lose.

**Chapter Seven**

A light rain fell over the forest as Daryl blinked his eyes. Fine drops of must clung to his eyelashes as he fought back a million different emotions. How did this happen? Things weren't great but they were far from this as he struggled to find a way to make this right again. Ahead of him Sophia stopped for a moment as she threw a hesitant look over her shoulder toward him. Her eyes were mixed with fear and uncertainty as Daryl felt his chest tighten. He never realized how much their trust meant to him until he didn't have it anymore.

Looking away, he kept his eyes cast downward; unwilling and unable to meet her gaze. Daryl wasn't surprised by Carl's reaction. He had never been stupid enough to even entertain the notion of Carl picking him over Shane. He had only known Carl a few months; whereas Shane had probably been there since the day Carl was born. Really, Daryl never had a chance. That was why he had been so careful; or at least he thought he had been so careful.

"Where do you think he went?" Sophia's small voice broke him out of his thoughts. Forcing the internal struggle down, Daryl began to assess their situation. They had been walking for a while and there was still no sign of Carl. How far could he have gone? Pushing ahead Daryl reasoned that they wouldn't start worrying until they made it back to the shack and Carl wasn't there. It was the only place he could think of that Carl would go; he didn't know anything else around here.

"Let's go back to the shack." He kept his eyes trained on the ground; unaware of the look Sophia was giving him.

"What if he isn't there?" The blatant fear in her voice made him stop for a second as he forced himself to look at her.

"He'll be there." With a curt nod he once again averted his gaze as they pushed on. Honestly he was beginning to doubt his own words. Maybe Carl would be there; maybe he wouldn't be. At this point he didn't really know.

* * *

Carl's chest heaved as he ran as fast as he could down the path. Stopping he doubled over struggling to catch his breath. Hot tears stung his eyes as he looked around. He was alone. Fingering the cool metal of the pistol in his back pocket, he took a deep breath. Carl didn't know what to think anymore. Over the past few days, he had started to trust Daryl more than he would have guessed. At first he was hesitant of the older man but the more time he spent with him; the more he liked him. He didn't always understand him but Carl had suddenly begun to develop a desire to please the older man. For whatever reason, Daryl's approval meant something to him.

Carl looked around at the trees, as he suddenly felt very exposed. Even though he had the gun, he didn't feel completely safe or protected. Just like last night, he could have easily stood his ground and shot whatever was creeping through the darkness but that wasn't what he did. His first instinct was to run and find a safe place and the only idea Carl still had of a safe place was wherever Daryl was. Smirking to himself, he would never admit it, but he felt so relieved and safe when he ran into Daryl's arms. Sure, he liked the gun but nothing made him feel better than knowing Daryl was around. A small laugh escaped his lips, God he sounded like such a pussy.

Reaching up Carl fingered the side of his face. His father had only slapped him once in his life. Carl had just learned the word 'bitch' at school from his friend Jimmy Owens. Apparently Jimmy learned it from his father but that was neither here nor there. The two boys giggled all day at themselves; clearly feeling superior to their classmates with their newly acquired adult knowledge. A few days later, his mother chased him down the hallway screaming for him to clean off the dining room table for the fifth time that night. Turning around Carl narrowed his eyes as he let the word fly. He knew he was in for it when he saw the dark cloud come over his father's face. In a split second he felt Rick's palm connect with the side of his face as he stumbled backwards. Needless to say Carl never let that word come out ever again.

He deserved it that time; but this time he didn't understand it. He also didn't understand why Daryl was going to shoot Shane. In all the time he knew Daryl, he had never seen him kill another human being; only walkers. Even though Carl was young, he knew the gap a man must cross when he went from killing walkers to killing human beings. In this new world it didn't seem like much of a leap, but really the two were an eternity apart. Without laws the only thing that kept people in line was their honor. If they didn't have that there was pretty much nothing holding them back. All this time, it had never occurred to Carl that maybe Daryl wasn't who he thought he was. Maybe he had crossed that gap and Carl didn't even know.

Behind him, Carl heard a rustling sound. Darting into the undergrowth he remained low to the ground hoping that whatever was coming would just pass by. Taking his gun out his hands were trembling as he cocked it.

Daryl and Sophia walked right past him. Staying there for a second Carl was in disbelief. Daryl could track a squirrel through a sandstorm. How he missed Carl's tracks was a mystery in itself. If he had gotten a better look at Daryl's face; however, Carl would have realized that the man was so far inside his own head he was merely operating on autopilot; a body moving with no thought to its surroundings. Something that was so unlike Daryl it would have made anyone who really thought about the situation stop and wonder.

After a few seconds Carl crawled out of his hiding place. Daryl and Sophia had disappeared from sight. When the apocalypse hit, Carl had only been in sixth grade. If he had made it to high school he would have learned a poem by Robert Frost called the "The Road Not Taken".

' _Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveler, long I stood  
And looked down one as far as I could  
To where it bent in the undergrowth;'_

Fine rain droplets gathered in his dark hair as he looked down the path in the direction Daryl and Sophia had gone. Although he thought that maybe they could be moving a little faster, he knew that Daryl would do everything in his power to find his dad and the others. He believed that the older man would keep them safe no matter what and one day they would find a place and life that made sense. They would find his father and Sophia's mother and their world would once again resemble something he knew. He trusted him and in a matter of seconds that trust had been shattered. Carl feared that Daryl had crossed the gap and lost his honor. He had become a dangerous man that had no code to live by.

Daryl had crossed a gap but it wasn't the one Carl was afraid of. In that horrible moment he had become something that he had fought against his entire life. He had become his father; a man who was weak and translated his emotions into physical violence. He had become everything that he hated. Carl would never understand how much he wanted to take it back or how bad it hurt.

Looking down the boy sighed; this was one of the most important decisions of his young life.

' _Then took the other, as just as fair,  
And having perhaps the better claim  
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,  
Though as for that the passing there  
Had worn them really about the same,'_

Looking back the way he came so many questions raced through his mind. When they found the farm overrun it had never really occurred to him that Shane would be anywhere else besides with his dad. He didn't see anyone else in the woods with Shane and found it hard to believe that the man was alone. Nothing else made sense though. Maybe when the farm got overrun, he was separated from the group. Carl didn't know. What he did know, though, was that Shane was familiar. His whole life Shane has been there. Thinking back he couldn't come up with one time when the man had let him down. Even thought the situation didn't make sense, Carl yearned for something familiar. He wanted his old life back.

' _And both that morning equally lay  
In leaves no step had trodden black.  
Oh, I marked the first for another day!  
Yet knowing how way leads on to way  
I doubted if I should ever come back.'_

At that moment Carl didn't realize how his decision would change everyone's lives. He did what he thought was best. Turning back toward the way he came he set out to find Shane. Throwing a glance over his shoulder he looked back the way that Daryl and Sophia had gone. A knot formed in his stomach as he pressed on. Gritting his teeth, he told himself that this was the right decision.

' _I shall be telling this with a sigh  
Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,  
I took the one less traveled by,  
And that has made all the difference.'_

* * *

When Daryl and Sophia got back to the shack it was nearly noon. Daryl's heart sank when he found the ramshackle building empty. Keeping his emotions in check he tried to keep a neutral face as not to worry Sophia. They needed to start looking for Carl. Letting a deep sigh escape his lips, Daryl couldn't believe that this was happening. Another kid missing, flesh eating freaks wandering around, and to top it off Shane was out there somewhere undoubtedly searching for revenge.

At first Sophia had been willing to help him search for Carl; clearly eager to find her friend. As the hours wore on, she was losing steam, however, as she lagged behind. Glancing over his shoulder he threw her a disgusted glance. They needed to cover a lot more ground before nightfall.

"Keep up, ya hear?" Daryl didn't bother waiting for a reply as they soldiered on checking every crevice in a wide swath of land that surrounded their starting point.

"I'm tired, Daryl. Can't we stop?" The sun was setting as he estimated that they had been hiking for at least ten hours. For the first time that day he felt the fatigue in his own body as he couldn't imagine what Sophia must feel like. Still they had to find Carl before nightfall.

Turning on his heel he nearly knocked her over as she jumped back; fear in her eyes. He paused for a moment but then continued on. "You want to find Carl, don't you?" She clutched the hunting knife he had given her to carry close to her chest as she nodded slowly, clearly afraid to do anything else. "Now keep up! I'm not going to tell you again!" Turning back around Daryl felt like a dick but he didn't know what else to do. Growing up in an abusive household he didn't learn much about dealing with his emotions. Most of what he did know he had taught himself as an adult. Most of the time he did all right. This was different, though. He had never felt so guilty, so hurt, or so responsible about anything in his entire life. Having another human being trust him the way that Carl and Sophia trusted him; they trusted him with their lives, was the probably the most important thing that had ever happened to him. And he went and fucked it up. It was causing him to unravel as he paid little mind to the world around him.

Twilight had settled over the forest as he heard a rustling behind him. Simply assuming that it was Sophia he didn't turn around until he heard the scream. In the inky blue light, he watching in horror as two walkers shambled out of the trees. On of them had their hand on Sophia shoulder, grisly jaw wide open and ready to rip off a chunk of flesh. It took him a second to compute what was happening and another to raise his crossbow. The ping of the bolt leaving the weapon echoed in his ears as time slowed down. He watched as the freak latched onto Sophia fell away. The girl stood, paralyzed with fear as the other one lunged toward her. Daryl's heart pounded, he didn't have time to reload. In three long bounds he covered the ground between himself and Sophia. Throwing his body weight into the walker it fell to the ground. Without thinking he grabbed the knife from Sophia's trembling hands. Raising it over his head, he sunk it deep into the corpse's skull. Black, putrid blood squirted out he continued to stab the freak over and over.

When he stopped the only thing he heard was the soft sniffling of Sophia behind him and the pounding of his own heart. He gasped for air as he pushed himself up, still looked down at the two dead walkers. Eyes falling on the scared little girl as an unexpected emotion came over him. Anger. He told her to stay right behind him; if she had this never would've happened. That was close, too close. He didn't know what he would have done if she had been bitten. Losing Carl was bad enough; two kids in one day would have been enough to push him over the edge. He was angry at himself more than her and he was scared but he was already overwhelmed and didn't know how to deal with it.

Grabbing Sophia roughly by the arm he yanked her towards him. Squealing in pain, tears rolled down her face, "Ouch! Stop!"

His face was inches from hers as he narrowed his eyes at her. "I told you to stay right behind me! If you'd have listened this never would've happened." She wiggled against his grasp and he felt his fingers dig deeper into the soft flesh of her arm.

"You're hurting me! STOP!" Sophia was sobbing at this point as he abruptly released her. She stumbled back a few feet as she gazed at him with a wounded, betrayed look.

What the hell was he doing? Straightened up he looked around. He was completely losing it. Why had he done that to her? In the inky twilight he could see her cradling her forearm to her chest. The fear in her eyes made his stomach twist into knots as he looked away. Daryl's hands were shaking as he clenched them at his sides. Eyes wandering back to Sophia, he couldn't find any words to make this ok. Reaching out tentatively toward her, he flinched as she backed away. Daryl withdrew his hand abruptly as if he had been stung. He just couldn't stop screwing up.

* * *

Carl didn't realize how far he had run until he started heading back. The forest was soft underfoot as he plodded along. Carl tried his best to pay attention but found his mind wandering to memories of better days. Thinking back Carl couldn't think of a single time when Shane hadn't been there. If he needed him, he was always there.

_The hum and beep of the machines made Carl nervous as he looked between his mother and Shane. He didn't want to believe that his father had been shot but now it was real. Eyes wandering over the blood stained sheet he watched as his mother took a pale lifeless hand into her own. The fluorescent lights buzzed overhead as his eyes wandered to Lori's tear stained face. Her long brown hair was matted to the side of her face as she bent over Rick's bed, resting her forehead against his chest. He could hear her crying and it made him uncomfortable. He was scared. His father was barely clinging to life and his mother was falling apart. Both of the people he would normally turn to for support and comfort weren't there. Backing away from the bed he felt a sudden wave of panic come over him._

_Out of the corner of his eye, Shane saw Carl beginning to come undone. Briefly his eyes flicked back to Lori sobbing against Rick's chest. Touching her arm gently he nodded toward Carl. "We'll be outside." She barely acknowledged him as she clung to Rick's blood stained gown. Shane stood there for a second watching her before pushing back from the stretcher. Grabbing Carl by the shoulder he guided the boy out of the Emergency Room and into the parking lot._

_It was a warm night as bugs swarmed around the tall floodlights that illuminated the area outside the hospital. Their shift had been over for hours but Shane still hadn't made it back to the station to change out of his blood stained uniform. Pushing himself up onto the trunk of the police car he sat there quietly regarding Carl for a moment._

_The young boy looked everywhere but at Shane as he struggled to come to terms with a very scary situation. Folding his arms over his chest he looked down at his shoes._

" _You alright?" Carl nodded but didn't say anything as he chewed on his lowed lip. Shane sighed as he shook his head. "Carl…look at me." It took the boy a few seconds but he finally raised his eyes to meet Shane. Tears threatened to spill over at any moment as Shane gestured for Carl to hop up next to him._

" _What if he dies?" The words came as a surprise as Shane froze in place for a second. What if he dies? Well that was a good question but certainly not one he wanted to answer. A tear rolled down Carl's face, as he was quick to swipe it away._

_Looking at the boy seriously for a moment Shane's face broke out into a smirk. "Don't worry about that. Your old man….well he's the toughest son of a bitch I know."_

_Carl looked down and nodded clearly not convinced. "Did you see him in there? It looks pretty bad and…"_

" _Stop it." Shane's forceful tone made Carl look up abruptly. "Just stop it. He ain't dyin' and that's the end of it."_

_Carl wasn't sure if Shane was reassuring him or if he was actually trying to convince himself. Either way it made him feel a little better. An ambulance pulled up to the entrance as they were briefly illuminated by a flashing red light._

" _Hey Shane." Carl didn't look at him._

" _Yeah?"_

" _Thanks," Carl looked up regarding him with unspoken volumes of gratitude. "For being here."_

_Shane face softened as the red lights blinked back and forth. "You don't gotta thank me for that. I'm…I'm always going to be here for you and your mom if you need anything."_

_Carl smiled slightly as he looked down at his hands. Having Shane there didn't make it all better but it sure helped._

A small smile came to Carl's face as the memory faded. Behind him a rustling sound made him spin around. A surge of fear tore through him as he scolded himself for not paying better attention. Out of the bushes a walker shambled toward him. Reaching for his gun he cocked it quickly. His breath quickened as another freak appeared behind the first. He would need to take them both down. Holding the gun level he was shaking as he took a hesitant step backwards. Tripping on a gnarly, rotted branch he fell backwards the gun firing into the sky. In a second one of the walkers lunged toward him causing him to scream in fear. Kicking at the slavering freak, he struggled to reach for the gun that had fallen into the dirt. Clawing at the undergrowth he used all his strength to pull himself toward the weapon. The walker had latched onto his legs and making any progress impossible as a frightful thought crossed Carl's mind. He could die here like this; alone and scared with no one to protect him. He suddenly wished that Daryl was there. Letting out a grunt his slender fingers wrapped around the stock of the gun. Whipping the gun around he didn't think as he pulled the trigger.

The gun recoiled in his hand as a loud crack echoed in the woods. Looking up he was surprised to see both walkers dead. Doing a double take he quickly pushed himself up to his feet as he stared at the gun in his head. It was impossible that he killed both of them with one shot. Peering through the trees he saw a familiar figure walking towards him.

Shane.

Carl didn't think as he broke out into a full run toward the man. The normally hardened look on Shane's face fell away as his eyes softened for a moment. Bending down he dropped the shotgun as Carl ran into his arms.

Immediately Carl was overcome with a sense of familiarity and for that he was relieved. "I've been lookin' everywhere for you, boy…" Shane's voice was barely above a whisper as he ran his hand through Carl's dark hair.

Carl couldn't speak. The intense of fear of the last few minutes washing out of him as a sense of familiar relief crashed down. Standing up, the soft look on Shane face was replaced with a darkness that Carl had never seen before. Taking a step back he tried to discern the cause of this shift in mood.

"Shane…" his voice was small and questioning as he gazed up at the older man.

Picking up the gun Shane looked down at Carl in a way that suddenly made him feel uncomfortable. Deep down inside his gut a realization dawned on the young boy. Something had changed; Shane wasn't the same. It was a scary notion and Carl refused to believe it. He felt it; but he couldn't believe it…he wouldn't believe it. This was Shane for God's sake. His dad's partner and best friend. His God-father and a man he had looked up to his entire life. Weak men changed in this world, and Shane was far from weak.

"Where you been, Carl?" The way he asked the question it was as if he already knew the answer. His gaze made Carl uncomfortable as the nagging feeling in his gut resurfaced.

"I…ah…." He thought about lying. But why would be lie? The only explanation for that was to protect Daryl and Sophia. Remembering the sting of Daryl's palm against his face Carl couldn't understand why he would ever want to protect someone like that. And this was Shane, why would he ever need to protect anyone from Shane? Carl had been thrust into the adult world too fast and he didn't understand how complex a human being could be. He didn't understand that a man could change in ways that were so abrupt and unwarranted that they no longer resembled the person that they used to be. He also didn't understand that a man's action weren't always a direct reflection of who he was or how he felt. For better or worse his world was still mostly black and white. "I was with Daryl."

As soon as he said it Carl wondered if he had made a mistake. The shadows on Shane's face darkened as he clenched his jaw tightly. "Daryl." The way he ground out the man's name caused fear to rise up in the back of his throat. Looking down Carl thought about the night he spent in the tree with Daryl, and learning how to shoot his gun in Walmart, and the way the silvery red scars on Daryl's back shone in the sunlight; he thought about running in Daryl's arms and the terrified look in Daryl's eyes just before his palm connected with the side of Carl's face. Why the hell was he thinking about Daryl so much? He had a choice and he chose to be with Shane. Looking up into Shane's darkened eyes he hesitantly wondered if he made the right choice.

"Have you seen my dad?" Carl blurted it out in hopes of changing the subject to something that didn't make him so uncomfortable.

Shane looked around before shaking his head. "Naw. I ain't seen him." Narrowing his eyes, Shane knelt down and stared Carl right in the eye. "He left us." The statement hit Carl like a ton of bricks. His dad would never leave him!

Pulling away form Shane he shook his head in disbelief. "No. My dad wouldn't do that! He wouldn't leave me."

The older man stood back up as he regarded Carl thoughtfully. Shrugging his shoulders he acted as if Rick deserting them was a commonly known fact. "He's gone." Slinging the shotgun over the back of his shoulders Shane stood there looking more casual than Carl would have ever imagined. Twisting the pistol around in his hands, a sick sense of dread began to come over Carl. "What's that?" Shane gestured toward the gun in his hands.

"It's mine." Gripping the stock tighter he took a step back.

Shane eyed him curiously as he reached out for the gun. "Where'd you get it?"

"Daryl gave it to me." Carl watched as Shane bristled at the mention of Daryl.

"You're not going to need that anymore." Holding his hand out Shane expected Carl to hand the gun over.

"No." The response surprised him as he took a step back.

"What do you mean no? Look, Carl, I don't know what you were doing with that redneck piece of shit but you're with me now and you'll do as I say." Reaching out again Shane tried to pry the gun out of Carl's grasp as the boy jerked away.

"No!"

Grabbing the boy by the shoulders he pushed him against the tree as he ripped the gun out of his hands. Carl struggled as he yelled out, "STOP IT!"

"Hey everything alright over there?" The sound of an unfamiliar voice caused both of them to jump back.

* * *

By the time they got back to the shack it was dark. Sophia refused to look at him and he couldn't blame her. Thankfully she was completely exhausted as he watched her sleeping form on the dirty mattress. Gently covering her with the sleeping bag he was careful not to wake her. In the dim moonlight, he saw the bruise already forming on her forearm. It made him sick to think that he caused that.

Quietly stepping out of the shack he slid down in the dirt as he let his head rest back against the building. He was exhausted but there was no way he could sleep. The damp soil around him tickled his nose with a familiar earthy scent. Allowing his eyes to drift shit for a moment he relaxed his back against the hard wood. Splinters scratched the back of his neck as he let out a slow, deliberate breath.

His mind flashed back to Carl standing there staring at him with that hurt, betrayed look. He saw him finger the side of his face in disbelief as a red welt started to appear on his freckled skin. Daryl breathed a raggedy breath out and opened his eyes. A storm was brewing overhead as a flash of lightning illuminated the forest. Daryl closed his eyes again and instead of seeing Carl this time he saw himself as a child with the same hurt in his eyes that Carl had. He saw his dirty, slender fingers touching a red welt on the side of his face and unshed tears in his glassy, blue eyes. He saw the way he trembled in fear as he cowered in the corner. When Daryl looked at the man standing over his ten-year-old self he was surprised to find that his wasn't his father. It was him; just like he looked today.

A clap of thunder rolled overhead as he shot up. He had to get away from here. Stalking toward the trees he felt raindrops hitting his face. Lightning flashed as the woods illuminated with a flash of white light.

" _You're nothing."_ His father's voice echoed in his ears as he picked up the pace.

" _You'll never be anything."_ The voice was louder this time. The clouds opened up as sheets of rain matted his hair to his forehead.

" _You're worthless."_ Daryl began running with no direction, desperate to get away from the memories chasing him. Thunder clapped as he heard himself gasping for air. His heart pounded in his chest as his feet skimmed over the wet forest floor. The cold rain pelted his face as he felt his throat tighten with emotion. His muscles throbbed with pain but he forced himself to move faster. His mind was racing with thoughts that he couldn't even begin to deal with as he felt like he was drowning.

" _One day you'll see…you'll see that you're no better than me."_ The emotions inside of him welled to the breaking point as he finally snapped. Winding his right arm up he punched the nearest tree as hard as he could. His knuckles made a crunching sound as he felt warm, sticky liquid ooze between his fingers. He didn't feel pain; however, as he punched the coarse wood over and over again.

How could he have been so thoughtless? So care less? So cruel? A vision of Carl's face and the hurt, betrayed look in his eyes flashed through Daryl's mind. His left hand connected with the tree this time as the adrenaline was starting to wane. A whimper of pain escaped his lips as he thought about Sophia clutching her wounded arm to her chest. His shoulders ached and his hands throbbed but he didn't did stop. Bending over he picked up a rather large branch and threw it against the tree watching as it splintered in two.

His whole life Daryl had fought against one thing….becoming his father. He never really had the chance to prove himself until now and what did he do? He fucked up. He used aggression to cope with his own uncontrolled emotions. He was scared and confused and he acted on that by laying his hands on them. It made him sick to the very core. He had become a weak person…a selfish person….a cruel person. He had become his father.

Heaving a large branch through the darkness he felt his feet slip out from under him. Daryl hit the ground with a thud. The red-hot anger inside him had dulled to a throbbing sense of self-loathing. Tears stung his eyes as he felt a sob rise in his throat. If he ever found Rick again what would he tell him? Carl was his to protect and now he was gone. The overwhelming sense of failure caused his head to sink as he pulled his knees to his chest. Leaning his forehead against the wet, muddy surface of his jeans Daryl couldn't keep it together no matter how hard he tried. Alone in the forest he felt his walls crumbling as all the fear and regret poured out of him. Covering his face with his hands Daryl tried to hide the fact that he was crying. There was no one there, though. He was completely alone, in the cold, dark woods. It was an old habit that he would never forget.

" _Are those tears, boy?" His father loomed over top him as he cowered in the corner. His father had been on the warpath for no reason in particular and he knew that it was just a matter of time before he got his. Daryl was scared out of his eight-year-old mind as he struggled to cover his face with his hands. He couldn't stop crying, he was so afraid; he didn't know what else to do. Leaning down close, Daryl could smell the booze on his father's breath as he drew out a raspy question. "Are you a pussy?"_

_Before Daryl could reply he felt a sharp pain in his side as his father's foot landed a swift blow. The air whooshed out of his lungs as a sob was abruptly choked off. Leaning down his father ripped his hands away. Daryl's nose bristled as a hot cloud of alcohol rolled over his face. Sneering his father was merely inches away as his heavy breathing meant nothing good. "Look at me boy." He didn't look quick enough as his father grabbed his face and whipped in the other direction. Squeezing his cheeks, Daryl felt the man's nails digging into his soft flesh. They were both breathing heavy as Daryl chewed his bottom lip. Willing himself not to cry he couldn't look his father in the eye. Letting go the older man slapped him hard across the face. Without warning he slapping him the other way as Daryl lost his balance tumbling backwards onto the floor. Kicking him hard in the side, he instinctively curled up as his father bent down over him. "Never, EVER let me see that shit again!" His father walked away as Daryl covered his face with his hands crying in silence._

Lightning flashed as the rain began to taper off. Through the cracks in his fingers Daryl saw the forest flash bright white. He felt drained as the last bit of emotion seeped past his shaking form. Letting his arms drop to his sides he was exhausted. Every muscle in his body ached as he sat there in the mud. Staring out into the darkness he was numb. All the emotions were blunted, as he felt decidedly hollow. Blinking a few times his eyes were burning and raw as he forced himself to stand up.

"Daryl…" Breaking out of the haze he cocked his head to the side. "Daryl…" The second time he concluded that he definitely wasn't imagining things. Walking back toward the shack he knew that the voice could only belong to one person. Picking up the pace a sudden fear surged through him. What if something was wrong? What if there were walkers or worse?

The disregard Daryl felt for himself remained. He was nothing…he knew that. He didn't deserve any of the good things he had in his life, and he knew that if they were taken away it would be no one's fault but his own. The numb, hollow feeling he felt for his own life was a stark contrast to the extreme emotions he had toward Carl and Sophia. He didn't think that he had every felt so responsible, so worried, or so scared for anyone else in his entire life. He was hopeless but he couldn't let himself give up on them. Everyone had given up on him at one point or another and he refused to pass that horrible emptiness onto someone else.

As he broke out of the trees he saw Sophia edging toward him nervous to cross into the dark, unpredictable undergrowth. "What are you doing out here?"

She stumbled backwards not expecting him to be so close so soon. "I…uh…I was looking for you."

She wasn't crying but she looked nervous and jittery. "Something wrong?"

The natural rasp in his voice was missing as Sophia honed in on something else. He sounded emotional as his tone wavered up and down. She had heard that before. An image of her mom ushering her back to bed late at night popping into Sophia's head. Even in the darkness of their house she could see the fresh bruises appearing on her face and neck. Her voice wavered as she tried to keep it together in spite of emotions that had been rubbed raw by the back of her daddy's hand. Looking up at Daryl she relaxed a little bit as she remembering the way he put his arm around her and read "Goodnight Moon" only a few nights ago. The betrayal and fear she felt toward him was carefully counterbalanced by a sense of comfort and deep understanding. Just like Carl, Sophia had been thrust into the adult world too soon. She didn't yet grasp the complexities of the human condition.

"I…I was scared. I thought you left." Daryl wanted to comfort her, taken her under his arm and tell her everything was ok but in his emotionally vulnerable state he couldn't bear the possibility of rejection. So he did the easy thing and he ushered her back toward the shack. Pointing toward the mattress he gestured for her to lay back down.

"It's fine. Go back to sleep. I'm going to keep watch." He didn't wait for her to reply as he sat down in the doorway of the shack, careful to leave just enough space between them. Gazing out into the woods he heard Sophia trying to settle herself back down. Exhaling loudly he ran a calloused finger back and forth over his lacerated knuckles. The night air was cool as he shivered slightly. He was soaking wet but he didn't care as he sat there staring blankly into the darkness.

* * *

Both Shane and Carl jumped at the sound of an unfamiliar voice. Loosening his grip ever so slightly on Carl's shirt Shane forced an unconvincing smile across his face.

"Hey man. We're good." Shane stepped in front of Carl so that the boy wouldn't get any ideas. Eyes falling to his gun firmly in Shane's hand, Carl briefly contemplated making a move but then dismissed it. Sure he was mad at Shane but these people were strangers and there was no telling what kind of people they were.

An older man and a young woman stared back at them curiously. If he had to guess Carl would say that they were father and daughter. The old man stood with his hands on his hips shaking his head doubtfully. "Your boy looks pretty scared."

Shane took a step back as he put his arm around Carl's shoulders. Involuntarily Carl flinched. The old man didn't miss it as he took a couple steps towards them. Behind his back Carl heard Shane cock the pistol in his other hand.

"Son, are you alright?" Carl couldn't meet the stranger's eyes as he just nodded, looking down at the ground.

Shane offered the two of them a smirk as he shrugged his shoulders. "Alright…now I think you folks should be moving on."

Carl's eyes flicked up to the old man as he studied his beaten frame. Both him and the girl had been out there for a while. They were caked with sweat and dirt as their unlaundered clothes hung loosely off their malnourished bodies. The old man peered out from under an Atlanta Braves cap as a set of friendly and concerned eyes surveyed the situation. He could sense something was wrong, Carl could see it in his face. Feeling Shane tighten his grip on the back of his shirt he only hoped that the old man would move along before there was any more trouble.

"Is this your father?" Carl's heart lurched at the mention of his father. He could never believe that his father would leave him behind. He didn't care how much he trusted Shane or how close they had been before; he would never accept that his dad had abandoned him.

Before he could answer Shane spoke up for him. "His father took off. He's with me now." Carl squeezed his eyes shut. It wasn't true.

"Hey kid you want to come with us? We're heading to Fort Benning. We can look for your dad on the way." The young woman spoke up as the older man offered him a gentle smile.

"You folks need to move along now." Carl hoped that they would just leave before something horrible happened.

"No." The old man stood defiant. Carl needed to do something. Thinking he wondered what his dad would do in this scenario. His dad would do the right thing.

Pushing away from Shane he took a step toward the strangers. "Just go, ok?! Get out of here before he hurts you." The slight shock on their faces was not completely surprising.

Shane's face fell as anger boiled up inside of him. He had scoured this place for Carl and now that he actually had the boy things were falling apart. He didn't anticipate this, but he should have. The bond between a father and son is strong and there was no way Carl and Rick would ever give up on each other. He was a fool to think that Carl would blindly accept his words at face value.

Reflexively he checked the boy against the tree while the other two looked on with surprise. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

Carl stared up at him defiantly. Over Shane's left shoulder he heard the click of a gun. Letting go of Carl he was met with the end of the old man's pistol. Raising his hands he offered a fake smile.

"Hey man. It's cool. I don't want any trouble here." He nodded gravely before gesturing toward Carl.

"I don't know who you are, buddy. But the boy is coming with us."

Shane sunk his head but Carl could still see his eyes. They were burning with anger despite the resigned tone in his voice. "Yeah…I'm screwing up. I ah…" Snorting he pretended to whip up some emotion although Carl saw through his lace curtain effort.

The old man slowly lowered his gun; as Shane was fast to reach around into his waistband. All it took was a fraction of second and the old man was lying on the ground. Behind him the young woman's face twisted in horror as she popped off a poorly planned shot in their direction. Whizzing about a foot to the left of Shane's head he dropped her to the ground without a second thought. Carl's mouth was agape. Shane looked down at the old man and sneered as he walked over to the woman; making sure she was dead.

"Why did you do that?" Carl's voice came out as a squeak.

Shane shook his head as he shoved Carl's gun back into his pants. "Six months out here and you still don't understand? People are dangerous, Carl. They wanted to take you away from me. I couldn't let that happened."

"They only wanted to take me away because you were being a jerk!"

Shane crossed the space between them as Carl stumbled backwards onto the ground. "You think you got it better with that redneck piece of shit? Then go! Go find Daryl." Shane gestured toward the darkening forest. A storm was rolling in overheard as Carl was hesitant to make a move. It was the first time he had thought of Daryl since finding Shane. All the betrayal and distrust he had felt toward Daryl had faded and been replaced with a new, more overwhelming emotion. Fear. Never in a million years did he think that he would be afraid of Shane. But he was and now he realized that he had made the wrong decision. He had worried that Daryl was the one who had crossed the gap and lost his code of honor in this world, but in reality it was Shane.

Carl didn't say anything as he watched Shane step over the old man's dead body. He had no gun and no idea where Daryl was. He was stuck; if he wanted to survive the night he would need to follow Shane. Silently he got up and trailed the man down the path without another word. Looking down he stared into the vacant eyes of the old man. He didn't even know his name but he knew that he had been a good person. Bad people didn't stop to help a stranger, nor did they risk their life to do what was right, especially not in this world. They had died because they tried to help him. His father would have done the same thing. He was a good person. His mother too; she could never stand to see a kid being mistreated. Then an unexpected thought struck him. Daryl would have stopped too. Carl didn't always agree with him, but he knew that Daryl tried to do the right thing. He was a good person, too.

The forest darkened as a storm rolled in. Stepping gingerly around the bodies, Carl couldn't take his eyes off of them. The Shane he knew would never do something so cold and brutal. Looking up he focused on the older man's retreating form. He didn't know Shane anymore. The ominous sound of thunder rolled overhead as he reluctantly followed him. Throwing a glance over his shoulder, Carl shuddered as he took one last look at the two dead bodies lying sprawled in the dirt. Their lifeless eyes stared upward as this horribly cruel world moved on without them.

It took Carl a few minutes to realize that they were headed back toward the shack. He didn't know if Shane was trying to find Daryl or simply just wandering around. Carl didn't know if they went back there but if he knew Daryl that was where he would be. In this area Carl didn't know anything else except for that shack and it's the only place he would even think to go. So, he knew Daryl would be there. A sense of panic rose up in his throat as the rain began to pour down. He already saw what Shane was capable of; he wouldn't allow the same fate for Daryl and Sophia. But could he successfully redirect the older man without causing too much suspicion? He didn't think so. They continued walking in silence as Carl wracked his brain for an idea. He had made the wrong decision by going after Shane; that much was evident. Now how was he going to fix it?

Carl wasn't sure how much longer they walked before Shane directed him to a little cave. They would take shelter there for the night and head out again in the morning. Shane hadn't said much since they left and Carl was thankful; it gave him more time to think. Lying against the cold rocks, Carl shivered in the night air. His clothes were soaked and stuck to his frame as he struggled to get warm. Unable to find anything dry enough to start a fire, Shane dug around in his bag. Producing a dry t-shirt he tentatively walked over to Carl. Bending down, Carl kept his eyes closed afraid of what would happen next. Gently Shane covered him up with the t-shirt before resuming his position on the other side of the cave. Carl's eyes snapped open in surprise as he stared into the darkness.

This new world was stranger and more confusing than he ever could have imagined. Before things were black and white to him. Actions were either right or wrong; people were either good or bad. It was simple. Now things were more gray and muddy. Judgments were hard to make and people's actions were more complex. How could Shane be so brutal and callous yet so gentle and caring? Carl didn't understand but he did know that regardless of what he was; Shane had changed. Every now and then there might be a flicker of the old Shane but that person was gone and Carl knew it.

* * *

Daryl exhaled as his weary shoulders sank. It was nearly dawn as he remained sitting on in the doorway. His muscles ached and he was both emotionally and physically wrung out. Behind him Sophia rolled over on the mattress. Her eyes fluttered open as he focused on Daryl's beaten form. Illuminated by a dim, white light she watched as his head sank down. Carefully fingering her arm she felt a twinge of pain. When her father hit her he never looked sorry afterwards. In fact, he never looked sorry ever. Daryl hadn't apologized nor had he made any effort to explain himself. Sighing Sophia reasoned that he wasn't really a man of many words. Actions and body language was key when it came to him. Pushing herself up she took in his defeated posture and glum, regretful stare. She saw the way his shoulders hunched as his forehead rested against his knee. In all her life she had never seen someone look so full of sadness or regret.

Standing up Sophia quietly walked toward the doorway. As she tiptoed toward Daryl she remembered the time that Bobby Egan pushed her off the jungle gym. She fell and scraped her knee and cried for the rest of recess. Poor Bobby looked so guilty that she thought he might burst into tears as well. She immediately went to the school nurse who put a band aid on her knee and gave her a piece of advice that she would never forget. Living with a man like her father she assumed that every time someone hurt her it was on purpose. Wailing that she had never done anything to Jimmy Egan a day in her life, the nurse finally calmed her down enough to explain that sometimes when people hurt you it's an accident. For whatever reason they make a bad decision, or act on emotions such as fear, anger, or frustration, and the end result is something they are ultimately sorry for. In Jimmy's case it was an accident; in Daryl's he had acted out because he was afraid and didn't know what else to do. Either way she realized that neither one of them ever meant to hurt her.

Creeping over she sat down beside Daryl as she felt him stiffen next to her. Tugging on the sleeve of his shirt he reluctantly turned toward her. "Are you mad at me?"

Daryl let out a wry laugh as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "No, I'm not mad at you." He paused as he offered her a slight smirk. "Kinda figured you'd be mad at me."

Sophia looked away before replying thoughtfully. "No. You didn't mean it. You were just scared." Daryl was taken aback by her mature response. Eyes drifting down from her face they settled on her forearm. A fresh bruise had formed overnight as he felt his stomach turn. Trailing his eyes she covered her arm self-consciously. "It's alright."

Daryl looked away, "When did you get so grown up?"

Sophia shrugged as she smiled. "I'd say the last two weeks." She laughed lightly as Daryl smirked. Falling into a comfortable silence they sat together staring out into the dimly light forest. He relaxed slightly. The hurt and betrayal in her eyes had been replaced with a placid understanding. It was a look that was far beyond her years and for her maturity, Daryl was grateful. It went a long way in helping him to navigate such an unfamiliar situation. For now it seemed like she had forgiven him; however, he hadn't even come close to forgiving himself. Daryl looked down at the dirt as his ears tuned into something. A rhythmic pounding that was coming closer. Grabbing the crossbow he rose to his feet.

Carl was breathing heavy as he ran full tilt ahead. He had lain awake all night until early dawn when he finally saw his chance. After spending the better part of the night keeping watch, Shane finally drifted off to sleep. Creeping to his feet Carl quietly slid the gun out of Shane's hand and took off running. The sudden shift had woken the older man and within seconds he was hot on Carl's trail.

Pushing through the undergrowth, Carl felt his face getting scratched to shit. Cold raindrops slid off the leaves as his feet sunk deeper into the mud. His heart was pounding with both fear and adrenaline as he pushed on. The only thing going through his mind was getting away from Shane. Subconsciously Carl knew that he was running back toward Daryl. He didn't really want to lead Shane back to them but he wanted to feel safe and the only idea he had of safety was Daryl. His hands were bleeding as he ripped and clawed through the sticks. He had a gun, but he didn't think that he had it in him to shoot Shane. No…he knew that he didn't have it in him. He couldn't kill someone; he wasn't like Shane.

Daryl raised the crossbow as he saw the bushes moving. Behind him he felt Sophia latch onto his belt loop as she pressed herself against the back of his leg. Normally he would tell her to go back inside and take cover but in light of their recent situation it didn't bother him to have her so close.

Carl was getting winded as he felt Shane closing in on him. A thicket of brush appeared ahead as he thought that his best bet might be to take cover. Diving into the thick green leaves he hoped and prayed that Shane would just keep going.

The movement stopped for a moment as Daryl lowered his crossbow. Must have been some kind of animal. Turning to Sophia he offered her a small smile as he shrugged, "That was a pretty big squirrel I'd say…." Before he could finish a gunshot echoed in the early morning air. Daryl flew backwards nearly falling on top of her. His body crumpled to the ground as thick, dark blood poured out from the right side of his chest. Gasping for air he looked up at the sky with a scared confused look. Sophia screamed, as she stepped back not able to believe that this was happening.

Pushing himself out of the thicket Carl watched as Shane walked out into the clearing. His eyes landed on the shack as a horrific realization dawned on him. It was Daryl. He shot Daryl. He didn't say a word. He just shot him. There was no fight, no argument, no struggle he just stepped out of the woods and shot him. Carl watched in horror, as Daryl's body lay on the ground motionless. Sophia crawled over to him as his bloody hand went up to touch the girl's face. Shane walked closer to them his gun still drawn. Carl had to do something. He couldn't let what happened to the people in the woods happen to Daryl and Sophia.

Running out of the bushes Carl raised his gun and pointed it at Shane. "Stop right there."

The sound of his voice made Shane whirl around. The maniacal look in his eye made Carl's blood run cold. Stalking toward the boy he raised his arms in mock surrender.

"You're not gonna shoot, me Carl. You can't. You know why?" He sneered as he lowered his arms. "Because you're too much like your daddy. You're a…" As Shane opened his mouth to speak he gasped. The ping of the crossbow echoed as Carl looked past Shane to Daryl lying on his side. Somehow the man had managed to flip himself over and get off a shot. His face was sickly pale as blood pooled around him. The bow was shaking in his hands as he collapsed back onto the ground.

Shane's face registered surprise and then pain. Coughing, blood spurted out of his mouth as he inhaled a raggedy breath. Still on his feet he held his gun out toward Carl cocking the hammer. If he couldn't have the boy no one could. Carl inhaled sharply as the coolness of the morning was a sharp contrast to the burning heat in his face. Shane staggered towards him as a gray haze hung low in the air. Holding his gun level his hands were shaking as he struggled to make the leap. Cold sweat beaded over his forehead as he realized that this was it. Closing his eyes Carl began to squeeze the trigger. He couldn't watch himself kill Shane; couldn't live with that memory.

Then a there was a bang. But he didn't do it. His gun was still cocked and fully loaded. Shane dropped over right in front of him as dark blood spurted from his head. Falling at his feet, Shane lay motionless. Looking up Carl was surprised to see Daryl unconscious and bloody on the ground. His hands were still tangled around the crossbow. Standing next to him was Sophia with Daryl's pistol in her outstretched shaking hands.

**Super long chapter! I hope everyone likes it.**

**Poem used was "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost**


	8. Chapter 8

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** Thanks for your feedback as always. I hope you like this new chapter and continue to review.

**Summary:** Daryl and Carl go out looking for Sophia and get separated from the group. Alone with two kids, Daryl must keep his own demons at bay while protecting them from not only the dead but also a very dangerous person who has nothing to lose.

**Chapter 8**

Blinking, Carl's vision was clouded by tears as he darted through the forest. The brown and green hues blurred together as an involuntary sob escaped from his throat. Pumping his arms back and forth he willed himself to move faster as the image of Daryl lying bloodied and broken on the ground flashed through his mind.

How did this happen?

Carl felt his throat tighten. This was his fault. He couldn't escape the weight of this decision; there was no adult who had been there. This was on him. He stopped Daryl from killing Shane. He went after Shane. Even after everything he and Daryl had been through he still didn't completely trust him. And that cost them in the end. If Daryl died Carl would never be able to forgive himself.

Stopping abruptly he doubled over. His chest heaved as he looked around. The silence of the forest was deafening as he felt a new wave of panic creep up his spine.

"Daddy…" He didn't even know that the word had escaped his lips until it was too late. His voice was high and squeaky; he barely recognized it. Carl was standing on the edge of his childhood. At twelve he still had the heart of a child when this unforgiving new world demanded so much more. If he wanted to survive he couldn't be afraid, he had to make the hard decisions, and he needed to take responsibility for his actions. It was daunting and he suddenly wished his dad were here. He would know what to do.

Struggling to swallow the fear he wiped the sweat from his brow. No matter how hard he tried, Carl couldn't get the image of Daryl lying on the ground bleeding….dying….out of his mind and it was causing him to unravel. He wanted to someone to make this ok but as he turned in circles the cold truth hit him in the face. He was alone…and he was responsible. If Daryl had a chance it was on him now…him and no one else. Pushing ahead he had no direction as he sprinted deeper into the woods.

* * *

_The warm summer breeze billowed through his bedroom curtains as a low rumble of thunder echoed in the distance. Daryl lay back in bed watching the thin material ripple in the dark air. Wincing he rolled off his left side. His ribs ached every time he tried to take a breath. In the mirror he examined the dark purple bruise that had bloomed across his flank and back. At least this one would be easy to hide; his face was another story._

_His left eye was nearly swollen shut. Reaching up he fingered his inflamed skin in the darkness. It was summer time. There was no school, no teachers, and no one who had any reason to check on him for the next two months. For a kid like Daryl summer was a scary time. If he made it to the next school year he would be lucky._

_The door to his bedroom squeaked as he involuntarily stiffened in the bed. His father wasn't even home and he knew that but he couldn't stop himself from reacting. Grabbing a fistful of bed sheets he stiffened as a figure moved through the darkness. Flinching, he turned his face away as he braced for impact. The person sat down on the bed next to him, as he remained stiff as a board: paralyzed with involuntary fear._

_A cool hand rested on his forehead, as he felt thin, delicate fingers inspecting his swollen face in the dark. A ragged, emotional breath preceded a statement that was barely above a whisper._

" _I'm so sorry." His mother. A bolt of lightning briefly illuminated the room as he opened his eyes. Turning his head he saw her sitting there on the edge of his bed. The warm air smelled like rain as he watched her long, brown hair shift in the breeze. Her hand gently moved to the side of his face as the coolness of her skin soothed him._

_The room flashed to white for a moment as he stared up at her in darkness. She looked like a ghost. Pale and whisper thin, years of life with his father had beaten her down to the very core. Her normally vacant eyes brimmed with sadness as she studied his face._

_When Daryl was very young she had been different. She was always quiet, always reticent and thoughtful; choosing her words carefully before speaking or acting. She held him a lot and he remembered pressing his ear against her chest; listening to the steady rhythm of her heartbeat. Daryl also remembered her smell. A mixture of baby powder and shampoo, it was always fresh and delicate. And her hands. She used to run them through his hair or up and down across his back without even thinking about it. In his chaotic life she was peace, safety, and love. He craved it; craved her and he didn't even realize it until she wasn't there anymore. It didn't happen all at once but little by little she began to pull away._

_It took him a while to notice but eventually he began to feel more on edge and nervous. As a small child these feelings were hard to understand. He knew that the fear in the pit of his stomach had begun to swell and this time she wasn't there to stop it. He longed to feel her cool hands on the back of his neck or hear the sound of her heart beating through her thin shirt. He wanted that security…the peace…but most of all he just wanted to feel loved. But she wasn't there anymore and she was never coming back._

_Daryl mother hadn't physically left but she had emotionally checked out. Years of abuse and torture had destroyed her and inevitably she had just shut down. Sometimes she made dinner, sometimes they were on their own. If a ham sandwich was waiting for him in the morning, it was going to be a good day but all too often Daryl was sent off to school with nothing to eat. She stayed locked in the bedroom, shades drawn and smoking cigarettes for days on end. With his father drunk or high on a bender, his mother emotionally unavailable, and Merle away at Juvie Daryl had effectively begun to raise himself. He was only six years old._

_As time passed the yearning in his heart lessened and he began to accept the way things were. He missed her everyday but he tried not to think about it. But with her sitting on the edge of his bed, staring at him in the dark a flood of emotions began to rush back. He was angry at her for abandoning him. He was disappointed that she would let her husband-his father- do something like this to him, He was afraid that she would leave for good one day. But most of all he was sad that something he wanted for so long was right there in front of him…and he still couldn't have it._

_Releasing the bed sheets Daryl relaxed. Raindrops plinked off the window as a strong wind rattled the glass panes. A flash of lightning illuminated the room as he felt her gentle touch roll back through his short hair. Every ounce of his eight –year- old resolve crumbled as tears spilled over his eyes._

" _Mommy…." A sob choked in his throat as the word came out. He had wanted her so bad for so long._

_Wordlessly she slid down in bed next to him. Sliding her arm under his thin shoulders she pulled him close to her. He felt her ragged breath against his back as tears slipped down his cheeks. For the last two years he had only wanted one thing- her. And now she was here. The feeling of her arms wrapped around him filled the aching hole in the pit of his stomach. He couldn't stop the raw emotion from pouring out as he shook with sobs. Taking her hand she drew his head back between her cheek and shoulder. Pressing a kiss to the side of his forehead she whispered in his ear._

" _I love you Daryl. I love you." The words didn't mean as much as the feeling of her next to him. He had been weathering a life of physical abuse and emotional neglect for the last two years alone. To finally have a sense of safety and love and physical comfort was unbelievable._

_Finally relaxing fully, Daryl leaned back and closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath he wanted to remember everything about this moment. A rumble of thunder rattled the house as he scooted closer to her in bed. She was so warm and comforting that he thought he could stay that way forever. Her soft hands roamed through his short, brown hair as he took a shaky breath in. She smelled so good and so familiar. Fresh and delicate, she smelled like wet hair and shampoo. Rain plinked against the windowsill as the sweet smell of summer rain wafted through the air. The house was quiet and peaceful. Pulling the blanket over top of them, she pulled him closer._

_Looking back on that moment years later, Daryl would realize that it was his best memory from childhood. To want something so bad for so long and to have it come to you when you need it most was an experiences most people never have._

_That night he fell asleep in her arms. When he woke the next morning he was alone. Foolish enough to think that something had changed he went looking for her. When he found her, the vacant look was in her eyes as she looked at him blankly. Not bringing himself to say the words he simply stared at her. His eyes, his face, his entire body saying one thing: come back to me. But she didn't and she never would. She would go back to her bedroom and lay there in the dark smoking cigarettes._

The tranquility of his dream slowly began to fade as it was replaced with a deep physical aching. Daryl could hear Sophia whimpering next to him and he desperately want to open his eyes but couldn't. They were just so heavy. His body throbbed in pain as he felt paralyzed. It was mid morning and the sun had risen in the Georgia sky as the back of his eyelids were illuminated with a warm, yellow glow. The warmth and peace and happiness of that memory poured out of him as a sense of darkness and fear began to take its place.

_Daryl was sad, he was mad, he was frustrated; he felt so many different things. Despite the abject abuse he endured at the hands of his father; he could never be capable of hurting him as much as she did. She gave him something he wanted so badly only to rip it away; shattering him into so many pieces he could never be put back together._

_A week later it happened. He was down the street watching the neighbor kids play on their bikes when everyone starting running. At first he followed them not really sure what was happening. A fire; he could smell it as they got closer. When he turned the corner he realized it was his street they were on. And then he realized it was his house they were watching burn. She died that day and he couldn't even remember crying. Really he didn't have a single tear left for her. She was dead now but she had been gone for a long time._

* * *

Before the world went to shit, Sophia had never seen a dead body; not even at the funeral home. All of her grandparents were still alive and therefore her experience with death was somewhat limited. In the last six months, that had all changed. She had seen more dead bodies than she could remember. Despite this sudden desensitization she had quickly learned that she never felt the same way. The feeling of loss when someone you know dies is not a stagnant emotion. It is different every time depending on your feelings toward that person.

The first dead person Sophia saw was their old neighbor back in Atlanta, Mrs. Jennings. After the outbreak hit, her parents packed up the car as fast as they could; desperate to get out of the city. Walkers were beginning to take over their neighborhood as her dad backed the car down the driveway. Sophia's first thought when she saw the woman laying on her front porch was curiosity. Why would someone want to take a nap in such a strange place especially now? Then when she looked again she saw one of those things kneeling over the old woman ripping the flesh right off her bones. She only saw it for a second before Carol covered her eyes. She was afraid and shocked and then when she started to think about it sad. That old woman never hurt anyone; she didn't deserve to die like that. A lonely person who had no children of her own, she had often invited Sophia over to help her eat a peach pie warm from the oven. Mrs. Jennings was a nice lady. That time Sophia was sad.

Sophia saw lots of dead people after that day but she didn't feel anything for any of them until the night their camp was invaded by walkers and her daddy died. Her whole life she had been afraid of him. Since the apocalypse she had become downright terrified. Without laws and cops to enforce them, Ed was free to do whatever he wanted whenever he wanted. They had been on the road for a while before they met up with Shane and Lori that fateful night on the highway. Those nights while they were on their own had been the worst. They would park somewhere and her parents would leave her in the car to "talk". Trouble was, the only way her daddy knew how to talk was with his fists. Sure, people saw but they had bigger things to worry about. Sophia was relieved when they finally found other people. It meant her daddy would have to keep himself under control…at least a little bit. What it really meant was that he would find other ways to abuse them that were much quieter. She kept her eyes closed but she knew he was making her mama doing things she didn't want to do. She didn't understand it but she knew it was wrong. And that night at the camp when Ed wanted her stay in the tent she was so sure it was her turn. But her mother…she stood up to him and Sophia was spared certain trauma. So when her father died she wasn't sad like Mrs. Jennings. Her father wasn't a nice man. That time Sophia was relieved.

The CDC had been one of the most frightening experiences thus far. The building was just so big and daunting that she couldn't help but feel intimidated. The fact that Jenner locked them in the basement and insisted on poking her arm with a needle didn't help matters. The adults seemed content with staying there but Sophia couldn't shake a feeling of fear. Something wasn't right but no one would listen to her; she was a twelve year old girl. When Jenner informed them that they wouldn't be able to leave and this was it she didn't understand what he was talking about. The fear inside her only built when she saw the way the adults were reacting. She could remember the women screaming and her mom was crying. Rick was yelling at Jenner and Daryl had taken an axe to the metal door. Carol bent down and pulled her close, her strained voice pleaded with Jenner not to let her baby die like this. Sophia was crying full of confusion and hysteria. She didn't even realize that the scientist had opened the door until she felt her mom running. It wasn't until much later that Sophia realized Jackie wasn't there. At first she was sad thinking that the woman had been left behind. Then later she overheard the adults talking. Jackie chose to stay there with that crazy Jenner. She chose to die. Jackie has always been nice to her calling her Miss Sophia. Jackie had been a nice lady and that was why Sophia couldn't understand why she would chose something like that over the group. That time she was angry.

The night they met Lori and Shane on the highway, the Peletiers were heading as far away from Atlanta as possible. They planned to head toward the ocean with hopes that at least one front would be safe. On the way they stopped at an abandoned quarry about ten miles outside the city. It was only meant to be temporary but as more survivors trickled in it became a permanent community. They had only been there about a week when Daryl and his brother stumbled into the camp. The first time Sophia saw them she was afraid. They were rough looking men. Merle did most of the talking early on. Daryl was nervous and shifty, always watching the others. Whenever they came close she hid behind her mother. Then one day Merle went out with the others and he never came back. Sophia was there when Rick told Daryl that his brother was left behind and she was so sure that he was going to kill the man. But he didn't and after that something in Daryl changed. She still kept her distance but began reconsidering her initial judgment. Maybe he wasn't the scary but just misunderstood. When he found her that day in the woods she had never been so relieved in her whole life. Then she remembered it was Daryl who she was with and the old feelings of hesitancy began to creep up. Clutching to that tree branch staring in horror at the faces of the walkers snapping and hissing below them she never expected him to reach out to her. This was the same guy that used to sit back in camp sucking the meat off a squirrel bone as he stared out at the others with a menacing glare. Yes she had been wrong about Daryl. He was horribly misunderstood, and that realization dawned on her as she pressed her face against his warm chest that night in the tree. His strong arms held her close as she drifted in and out of consciousness. Daryl didn't know it but he was the first man who had ever made her feel safe and comforted. He wasn't just a good guy. He was the best. Looking down at him Sophia chewed on her lower lip. This time she was panicked.

Since the start of all this no one's death had higher stakes for her than Daryl's. At the moment he was everything to her and Carl. Their protector, their confidant, their life line, but most importantly he was their friend. Carol, Rick, Lori; they were gone and no one had the faintest clue if they were even still alive. Daryl had become their mother and their father. He was their whole world right now. Sophia drew in a shaky breath as she felt tears running down her face. This wasn't happening. Pacing back and forth she didn't want to look at Daryl but she couldn't help herself. His face was sickly white as she watched his eyes moved back and forth under the lids. His hand was shaking as he tried to pick it up off the ground. Every time he breathed the hole in his chest made a sick sucking sound. Sweat beaded up over his forehead as he began to turn an ashen color. Sophia was trembling in fear as she knelt down next to his left side. His blood soaked shirt clung to his body as she cried uncontrollably. Shaking him lightly she whimpered his name.

"Daryl….pleassseee…pleasssee…. you gotta wake up."

He twitched but didn't open his eyes. Sophia was desperate to feel some kind of familiarity. Curling up next to Daryl's left side she rested her ear against the side of his chest. The wetness of his shirt soaked the side of her face with sticky sensation as she closed her eyes. His heart was still beating. She wished that he could put his arm around her right now and tell her that everything was going to be ok. But he didn't…he couldn't. Shooting a glance at his face she watched as his eyes fluttered but didn't open. He was lost somewhere inside himself; a place so deep and dark he couldn't find his way back. Tucking her head back against his chest, Sophia listened to the frantic beating of his heart and prayed that Carl would come through.

* * *

A thick layer of early morning fog was beginning to burn off as thin rays of light poked through the treetops. The earthy smell of wet leaves and dirt permeated the air as the sweet cacophony of the natural world was all around. A woman leaned back against the tree as she stared straight ahead. She had been a pretty girl. Not movie star gorgeous but attractive in a real world sort of way. Her long brown hair was in a mess behind her and her sharp, blue eyes were vacant and hollow. A deep scar ran down the right side of her face. It had probably required stitches or maybe even a plastic surgeon but in this new, unforgiving world glue was the next best thing. If she could find a mirror and actually gave two shits she wouldn't be able to recognize herself. Not that it mattered much anyway.

Sitting back onto the ground the back of her cotton pants became saturated with the dewfall. Reaching around she pulled out a gun. Running her fingers back and forth over the cool metal barrel she slid the clip out. Three bullets. Smiling wryly she shook her head. The Ruger .22 had been a birthday present from her father a couple of years back. At first she couldn't shoot worth a damn but eventually her aim got better and she became a real marksman. She loved going to the range and it wasn't uncommon for her to blow one or two hundred rounds at a time. Now she was down to three. Sliding the clip back in she clicked the safety off. Resting her finger on the trigger she stared down at the gun.

Before the world went to shit she had often wondered about the day she would die. It was morbid but as a paramedic she couldn't help but think about it. She had been there at that moment…that final moment when we leave this world and enter the next for so many people. And she always wondered if they knew. Did they know when they woke up that morning that it would be their last day on earth? They probably didn't but she wondered if they could feel something? Was something different? When it was her turn would she feel it coming or would it sneak up on her? She often wondered what day she would die. Was it March 25 or June 19; February 1 or maybe September 10? Looking up at the sky this day was just beginning. She had lost track of time a while ago and could only guess that it was sometime in late September.

Everything and everyone she ever loved or cared about in this world was gone. She had never felt so hollow or alone. She didn't know that it was even possible to feel like this. Turning the gun so that she was looking down the barrel her vacant, emotionless eyes stared straight ahead. The thought of suicide once repulsed her but now it seemed like the only option. It was the ultimate selfish act that left a wake of heartbreak in those left behind. But was it so bad when there was no one to leave behind? When there was no one left to care did it really make a difference? Holding the barrel of the gun up to her eye she looked at the familiar striations on the inside of the barrel. Pulling back again she cocked the gun. In her ten years as a paramedic she had seen several people shoot themselves in the head. Some did it right; others weren't so lucky. The last thing she wanted was to be alive when this was all over. Worse yet was alive but unable to put herself out of her own misery. Just laying there as walker bait waiting for some freak to rip the flesh right off her bones. No she was going to do this right the first time. Bending her arm she pressed the cool metal barrel through her tangled hair at the base of her skull.

Somewhere behind her she heard a rustling in the bushes. Walkers no doubt; she couldn't even muster a flicker of concern. What did it matter now? Then there were rhythmic heavy footfalls. A person. She hadn't seen anyone in weeks. Her concentration broke as Carl burst out of the bushes tripping on an overgrown root. At first he didn't see her there as his face was contorted with sheer panic. The women looked at him although still not lowering the barrel of the gun as it was trained against the back of her head. A kid. Her cold stare perused his body finally coming to land on his face. Someone had been taking care of him. He was well nourished and appeared developmentally appropriate for his age. His clothes were dirty but intact and correct for the current weather. Their eyes met as he pushed himself up off the ground. His face was red and swollen from crying as she saw his lip quiver.

"You gotta help me!" He didn't seem to notice or mind the firearm she had pressed against the back of her head. Lowering the gun she stared at him her face devoid of any emotion. She didn't feel a single thing as she looked at him. Not sympathy, or sadness, urgency, or fear. She felt nothing. "My friend! He's been shot…Please!"

She didn't want to help him. She wanted to finish what she came out here to do. Slipping the gun back into her waistband she pushed herself up from the ground. Carl was beginning to back up suddenly unsure of this mysterious stranger. She still hadn't said a word to him. Bending over she grabbed her backpack. What did it matter if someone else in this world died? Everyone she knew was dead. Why should this kid be any luckier? Turning she started to walk away.

"You aren't gonna help me!?" Carl was unraveling. She was his best and probably only chance to save Daryl's life. There was no way he was going to find anyone else before it was too late. She didn't care how much he screamed; it wouldn't make her feel any different.

' _We don't decide who lives and who dies but we can give them a chance.'_ She stopped cold. In her old life as a paramedic she had been lucky to have the same partner for the last eight years. He wasn't a good guy; he was the best. As she walked away from Carl she saw heard his voice clear as day; like he had just been right there next to her. _'We don't decide who lives and who dies but we can give them a chance.'_ And for the first time in a while she felt something.

Turning slowly she met Carl's eyes again. For all she knew his friend could already be dead. But if he wasn't she had the knowledge and the skill to give him a chance. That was all she could do. And after that she would finish what she started today.

"Ok. Take me to him." Carl's face was a mixture of shock and disbelief. First that he had heard her voice and second that she actually agreed to help him. She could be a dangerous person for all he knew. Hesitating for a moment Carl turned and began running back toward where he left Daryl. It didn't matter what she what kind of person she was because he had no other options.

* * *

Daryl could feel the life slowly seeping out of him. He couldn't open his eyes but he knew that Sophia was there next to him. He could feel her pressed against his chest whimpering. Daryl wanted so badly to pick his arm up and hold her close to him. He wanted to open his eyes and tell her not to cry. That he was ok. That she didn't need to be afraid anymore. But he couldn't. No matter how hard he tried; he just couldn't. A deep physical and emotional aching filled his body as he struggled to take a breath in. The orange glow behind his eyelids faded as a deep blackness took their place.

_The room was dark as Daryl pulled the old, musty blanket up over his head. A crash echoed from the other side of the thin wall as he jumped. He and his daddy had been living a cheap motel for about a month now. Their house had been condemned after the fire and if Daryl thought his life was hard before he quickly found that he was sorely mistaken. With his mama gone that meant his daddy had one less person to beat up on. At first it wasn't too bad; he actually seemed sad that she was gone. It didn't last long, though, and before he knew it Daryl was getting it everyway but sideways. His body ached as he pulled himself into a ball. He was alone. His daddy was out drinking somewhere. A few hours time and he'd be back ready to take out his anger. Daryl cringed as he bit down hard on his bottom lip._

_For the first time in his life he wondered if he would survive. He wondered if he would make it to adulthood or if this would be it for him. Eight horrifying years full of abuse and neglect, abandonment and hate; that would be his life. Beginning to end his existence was absolutely meaningless. Was this it for him? Would he die here in this motel room? Alone and bled out on the bathroom floor while his daddy slept it off only five feet away. And for the first time in his life he didn't really care. If he lived he would only be tortured if he died it would be over. In that moment he didn't have any fear of death. If that was the only way this pain and torture would end it didn't sound too bad._

_A loud thump on the other side of the wall and some more yelling as Daryl pinched his eyes shut. He didn't want to think about her but he couldn't help himself. After she died he refused to shed a tear. She had hurt him so bad he couldn't forgive her. But as time wore on his anger began to fade as it was replaced with a familiar sense of wanting. No matter how much she hurt him or how bad she made him feel he could never stop wanting her. She was a messed up idea of love but it was the only thing he had._

_Tears came to Daryl's eyes as leaned over the side of the bed. Pulling a bottle of shampoo out from underneath he unscrewed the cap. Taking in a deep breath he closed his eyes. In the brain our sense of smell is situated next to the area that stores memories. That's why when we smell something we are often thrown back into an involuntary memory. Daryl didn't know anything about that but what he did know was that as soon as he smelled that shampoo it was like he was back in that moment. And she was there, her clean, wet hair cascading over her thin shoulders. Her arms wrapped tightly around him and if he concentrated he could almost feel her cool, calming hands against his forehead. He could hear the rain tapping against the window and see the flash of white lightning streak across the inky sky. And if he was really quiet he thought he could hear her breathy voice in his ear. "I love you Daryl. I love you." Opening his eyes, Daryl peered around the empty motel room. He was alone._

The memory faded as Daryl could hear a hiss and moan. Walkers. That was the only thing that could make a noise like that. With every ounce of strength he willed himself to wake up. On his left side he felt Sophia pull away as he heard her strangled cries. He couldn't let this happen.

Sophia could hear them coming for a while now but hoped that they would just go away. The hissing and moaning, dragging feet across the forest floor; she knew that only one thing made a sound like that. Tucked against Daryl's left side she closed her eyes and prayed for a miracle. When that miracle didn't come and the freaks were almost on top of her she pulled back. After shooting Shane she threw Daryl's gun aside in a flurry of panic. Now she had to find it again. Thankfully Shane's lifeless body, a few feet away, momentarily distracted them.

Sophia's vision was clouding as she tore through the bushes. Behind her Daryl stirred slightly still unable to move. He had stopped bleeding but was still making a horrible sucking sound as she tried to hurry. Looking over her shoulder Sophia saw one of the walkers get up and begin shuffling toward Daryl. Crying hysterically she abandoned her efforts to find the gun and threw herself on top of him.

"Oh my God! Please no!" Daryl felt a surge of pain rush through his body when he felt her land on top of his chest. It quickly faded however when he realized what she was doing. He couldn't let her do this; she was just a little girl. Besides that, it was his job to protect her not the other way around. He could hear the walker getting closer and he was almost sure that this was it. He was going to die; if the hole in his chest didn't do it, the freak would. Using every ounce of strength he had left he used his left hand to roll them both over so that she was lying underneath him now. Bringing his left arm back around he squeezed her tightly to his chest. This was it.

He took a deep breath and waited for the sharp pain of the walker's teeth in his back. Before it happened a gunshot rang out as he felt a weight collapse onto his back. What little air he had left in his lungs whooshed out as he moaned in pain. Another gunshot and the hissing stopped.

The woman stood there looking down the barrel of her outstretched gun. She dropped both walkers with little effort as she released the clip. One bullet. That was all she had left now. Just one. The boy next to her was practically trembling with fear as she shoved the gun back into her pants. Walking ahead her black boots sunk into the soft earth. Her eyes first went to Shane lying sprawled out on the ground. For a moment she thought that maybe that was who she was there for but one look at him told her it was too late. Standing over Daryl she grabbed the walker's body and threw it aside. Dropping her pack on the ground he squatted down next to him. His shirt was soaked with blood as his skin was pale and clammy. Carefully taking him by the shoulder she rolled him back over onto his back. Her surprise was evident when Sophia scrambled out from underneath him. Her gaze momentarily flickered to the little girl. She looked unharmed. Returned her attention back to Daryl she placed two fingers against the side of his neck. He was still alive.

Somewhere behind her she could hear Carl and Sophia begging her to help him. She didn't acknowledge them as she began to mentally click through what she had to do. Ripping Daryl's shirt open she saw a single gunshot wound that marred his otherwise strong chest. Opening her pack she pulled out a stethoscope. Pressing it against his bloodied chest she closed her eyes as she struggled to listen. Sophia was crying hysterically as Carl tried his best to calm her down. She wanted to turn around and tell them to shut the fuck up but really what would that do? So she concentrated on the task at hand.

The moment she ripped Daryl's shirt open and saw that hole in his chest she knew that this was going to be bad. She also knew that his lung was probably collapsed. Taking long needle out of her bag she ran her fingers down his chest counting the ribs. When she got to the right place she didn't hesitate to shove the long piece of metal right into his chest.

"What the hell are you doing?" Carl stepped up to her as she looked up at him blankly.

"You want me to save him? Then sit down and shut up." She didn't even acknowledge a reply as she turned back to Daryl. Taking a rubber glove out of her pack she ripped the finger off as she pulled the needle out of his chest leaving a plastic catheter behind. A whoosh of air escaped from the catheter as Daryl felt his lungs fill with air.

Carl was torn between letting the mysterious woman do what she wanted and protecting Daryl from what he perceived to be more injury. He didn't protect Daryl from Shane and look what happened. Hesitantly he raised his gun and leveled it at her head. She was busy securing a stack of gauze against his chest. At first Carl thought that she didn't see him but then he realized she just didn't care. Turning toward the barrel of his outstretched gun she shrugged her shoulders.

"Go ahead. You'll save me the bullet." She looked like a ghost. Her blue eyes were emotionless, as she seemed to be staring right through him. The way she was looking at him rattled Carl as he slowly lowered the gun. He looked at her for a moment before walking away. Turning back to Daryl she saw his eyelids twitch and slowly open.

The bright midday sunlight shone through the treetops as he squinted into the white light. Focusing, he saw someone kneeling over him. A woman. Her long, brown hair fell over her shoulder, as her face was backlit by the intense sunlight. She ran her hand over his forehead wiping the sweat away. It was cool and comforting just like his mother's. Blinking his eyes he struggled to focus on her face. She looked like her. Opening his mouth his voice came out strangled and hesitant. "Ma..?"

The woman looked down at him. At least his eyes were open now, although he didn't seem to understand what he was looking at. She was busy securing another stack of gauze against his back when she heard his voice. Coming back to his face she studied his expression for a moment. Pain and fear…but there was something else. Hope, trust maybe… she didn't know. Reaching down she placed her hand against his cheek. Leaning into his ear she whispered to him, "You're going to be ok."

Daryl's eyes drifted close as she watched him exhale. He trusted her. He didn't even know her but he trusted her on some level. Any thought she had of walking away faded as the first human connection she made in a month caused a sliver of her old self to come alive again. He trusted her and now she was obligated to honor that trust.

Standing up she looked down at him. He wasn't going to die right there but he was still in bad shape. In front of her, Carl and Sophia's pleading eyes urged her to keep going.

"He needs real medical care. More than I can do right here." Carl looked at her confused.

"We'll do anything. Just please help him." Biting the inside of her cheek she looked at him with a doubtful expression.

"Ok." Taking her pack off she threw it at Carl. "You carry that." Bending over she grabbed Daryl under the arms. Much to her surprise he made an effort to support his own weight. Wrapping his arm around her shoulders and her arm around his waist she grabbed him by the belt. Looking up at him she saw his eyes staring back at her. His face was pale as he swayed back and forth against her.

When he spoke his voice was thick and raspy. "Please…I'll do anything I just have…."

She cut him off before he could finish, not wanting to hear his pleading tone. Looking at him seriously she spoke slowly. "All I can do is give you a chance."

Daryl looked into her eyes as he exhaled in pain. "That's all I need."

**I love the reviews so keep 'em coming !**

**Don't panic I'm not introduced an OC, just making things interesting for a while.**


	9. Chapter 9

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** Well it's been a while. I read the story again and am going to try to finish it. Part of the reason I abandoned this story is because so much has changed on the show that I wondered if anyone would really care about reading something like this. But people are still reading and it makes me wonder if some fans, like myself, long for the simpler times on TWD. Thanks to those still reading. Your support means a lot. Hang in there; I'm not done yet.

**Summary:** Daryl and Carl go out looking for Sophia and get separated from the group. Alone with two kids, Daryl must keep his own demons at bay while protecting them from not only the dead but also a very dangerous person who has nothing to lose.

**Chapter Nine**

Leaves…grass…dirt…trees. They all blurred together as Daryl fought to remain conscious. Sweat dripped off his face, he struggled to breath. The strange woman was all but dragging him at this point. His legs were weak and the more he tried the more he found himself leaning into her for support. She was strong though, he could tell. She tripped a few times but she never let go and she never fell. In front of them he saw Carl and Sophia; Carl's gun was drawn although from what Daryl could make out the boy was really in no condition to be using it. Both the kids looked a nervous wreck and he couldn't blame them. He reckoned that he looked beyond frightening not to mention to sick sucking sound coming from the hole in his chest.

"We're almost there, just around that corner." She nodded her head ahead trying to guide Carl and Sophia while balancing Daryl against herself. He was fading fast and she knew it but she had nothing with her to fix this. So they soldiered on until Daryl couldn't anymore and his legs gave out. Falling to the path she also tripped and went to her knees. Carl whirled around, his face contorted with sheer terror as Sophia began to cry.

"Oh my God! Is he dead?" Carl rushed over and looked down at Daryl in panic.  
"He's fucking dead!" The first time he had ever used the word fuck and it seemed appropriate and timely. If Daryl wasn't in a crumpled heap he might also smile at this mature slip of the tongue and congratulate himself on getting a gun and saying fuck in the same week. But this was no time for that as he haphazardly pointed the muzzle of the gun at the woman.

Pushing herself up she dusted her pants off looking more annoyed than alarmed. Reaching down she rolled Daryl over and checked for a pulse. He was alive…barely. Looking up at Carl she regarded him with a smirk.

"He's alive for now, you little shit. But if you keep pointing that at me he won't be." Her attitude flabbergasted Carl. Daryl was dying; she had no urgency. He was holding her at gunpoint; she had no fear. She was alive but dead inside. A child of Carl's maturity couldn't understand that… not yet anyway.

The woman bent down as she grabbed Daryl by the arm. Thrusting her shoulder into his mid section she was able to hoist him up onto her shoulders. Carl watched in awe. He had never seen a women be able to anything like this. Only problem now was that she needed to stand up with him on her shoulders. "Come on…come on…come on." Her voice was strained as it clearly took everything she had to stand up. Breathing out she adjusted him a little before walking. Carl and Sophia stared at her. " GO! I'm not going to be able to do this all fucking day." Carl threw a glance at her but he was met with a smirk. "You said it first." Turning back toward the trail he smiled to himself a little. Somehow Carl had managed to find himself the baddest bitch of the apocalypse. Up ahead a small cabin came into view. Excited Sophia yelled over her shoulder, "Is that it?!"

The woman grunted a yes as her legs felt like they might give out any second. She hated doing shit like this before; just a bunch of macho bullshit to blow your knees out. But what did she care if her knees hurt now. When she was done with them she was going to finish what she started today and no one was going to stop that.

Pushing the door of the cabin open Carl laid eyes on a table. Clearing it off he made a space for her to put Daryl down. Seeing this she was grateful as the weight on her shoulder shifted and she was finally able to relieve the intense burning in her back. Sophia's eyes perused the ramshackle building. It smelled funny but it was clean and it was clear that someone had been living here. Eyes falling on the mysterious woman she assumed it had been her.

Carl's eyes narrowed as he watched her unzip a black back pack and spill it out on the counter. Medical supplies, gauze, tape, needles. Her eyes clicked through what she needed as she made quick work of Daryl's new shirt from Wal-mart cutting it away from his body. The hole in his chest was still making a sucking noise as Carl's stomach turned just looking at it. Despite this, he couldn't make himself look away. Sophia, however, couldn't bear the sight. Sliding down the wall she buried her face in her hands. This wasn't happening.

The woman was sweating as it rolled down the side of her face. Her chest heaved as she struggled to catch her breath. Carl wondered if that was from carrying Daryl or because of what she had to do to Daryl. Really it was neither. As she made quick work of the sucking chest wound a sobering thought struck her. Clearly by the way these kids were acting this man meant something to them. He looked a little too young to be their father but maybe he was brother or hell even a friend. Maybe he was a stranger and that was all that they had. Regardless of his relation to them, it was apparent that he was their protector. That meant if she couldn't save him she would have to become their protector. And that was not something she wanted to do. Not even a little bit. She was dead inside… completely and utterly dead. Everyone she had ever loved was gone. Everything she had ever known was gone. She had not one reason to live and she didn't want these two kids to give her one. So he couldn't die. No way.

_Daryl's vision blurred between reality and a dream like state. He saw the roof of the cabin. He saw himself running across a field. He saw the woman working on him. He saw Merle chasing him snickering. And then he saw blackness and he was running._

_Merle was chasing him through the woods. Twigs slapped him in the face as he batted them down, desperate to get away. He was running and running but Merle kept chasing him. His brother had just tried to drown him in the creek and by some stroke of luck he had managed to wrestle himself free. Tripping over the slippery rocks he busted both knees open as his little hands clawed at the earth desperate to get away. He really believed that Merle was about to kill him. He held him under for so long…longer_ _than the time before. Blood was running down his legs and he took the back steps two at a time a malicious snicker echoing behind him. Busting through the back door he was met with his daddy's fist square into his chest._

Sitting up Daryl screamed out in pain. Carl had just watched the woman shove a four-inch needle into the side of his chest. He was in a trance while she was doing it not believing what was happening. Daryl's Lazarus like reaction caused him to snap out of it as he also began screaming. On the floor Sophia pinched her eyes shut as she cried, burying her head deeper into her knees.

Daryl was shaking as he took his first easy breath in. He never thought he could be so hungry for air. His vision was blurry as his oxygen starved brain struggled to comprehend his surroundings. When he sat up the woman looked at his back to check for any other wounds. Her eyes carefully perused the scars as she was met with a hard stare from Carl. A protective look in the boy's eyes told her this was something private and she need not stare. Nodding slightly she acknowledged the bond between them. Averting her eyes away she stood in front of Daryl. His eyes searched her for some flicker of recognition. She looked like his Ma in the face but the rest of her was strong and built. Not like his Ma at all. She was whisper thin just waiting to be blown away.

"Feel better?" Daryl felt awful, he hurt all over but he could breath and that was a miracle.

Nodding he looked down at the plastic straw hanging out of his chest. Following his eyes she practically read his mind. "You had a collapsed lung from the gun shot. The needle I stuck in your chest re inflated it. That's why you can breath."

"How long?" It took a lot to form those two words. Carl's ears perked up at the sound of Daryl's voice. He never thought he'd hear it ever again.

She looked at him and laughed a little. "A few days I hope. You should be able to get back on the road." Really it was probably longer but she didn't care. A few days was all she was going to put off the inevitable. They had to go and she needed to end all this bullshit. Daryl's eyelids closed as he nodded. Suddenly he felt so tired. Seeing him about to pass out again the woman steadied him on the edge of the table. Shaking him gently he woke for a few seconds. It was enough for her to guide him over to the small bed in the corner. He looked at her, essentially helpless, as she guided him down onto the worn mattress with her arm around his shoulders.

Carl and Sophia inched their way closer as Daryl's gaze flickered to them momentarily offering them a weak smile. They wanted to touch him but they were both afraid. Instead they settled for sitting down near the bed and watching intently. Thinking back he didn't remember much of what happened. He did know that they had no supplies; no food, no water, nothing.

The woman came back over with a small basin and gauze as she proceeded to clean the wound on his chest. Her demeanor was vacant and uncaring but her hands were gentle and capable. He didn't know a thing about her but he knew that she had most likely lost everything in the world and now she was just operating on autopilot. Her mind was gone; her hands did as they had been doing for years. She didn't say a word as she tended to him lost in her own personal hell.

"You have anything for them?" Daryl gestured to the kids not wanting to be too imposing but desperate to know they had what they needed.

"A few bottles of water under the sink. A can of pasta I think also." She didn't question him as she just continued her work.

Daryl's eyes wandered to Carl as he gestured to the door. "Carl get something for you and Sophia. Go outside for a while. Take a break, ok?" Carl didn't move as he eyed the woman cautiously. Daryl tried to hide the pain he was in as he forced a half smile "I'm fine. Go ahead…take your gun, ya hear" Eventually he got up trudging over to the sink and pulling out some supplies. Hesitantly they both stepped outside as the door shut.

When they were gone Daryl closed his eyes. His voice was low when he spoke again, "Thank you." Eyes opening he searched her face for any sign of emotion. There was none.

Setting the basin aside she looked at him briefly before looking away. "You'll be fine. You have to." Pausing for a moment she inhaled deeply. "They need you."

Daryl exhaled as he looked at her for a moment. Without thinking she reached up and touched his face. Her hand was cool and gentle. Closing his eyes Daryl was eight years old again, his mother in bed holding him close, thunder rolling outside his window. He didn't know why she touched him like that or if she even did it consciously. But she could never know how comforting that simple gesture was. Relaxing he closed his eyes as sleep came quickly.

* * *

She sat back on the window ledge. Her head resting against the rotted wood as it had every night for she can't even remember how long. Peering out the window she scanned the twilight forest as exhaustion began to settle in. The kids had passed out a few hours ago on the floor as her eyes traveled over to Daryl on the bed. His breathing had slowed and he appeared to be comfortably resting. Didn't matter if he wasn't because she had no pain meds to give him. Those were gone long ago.

Exhaling loudly she let her eyes drift shut. She saw his face like always. Her partner. They had worked together for eight years. He was older than her; had been on the job for a while before she showed up. Didn't matter though they were practically made for one another. She loved him; it wasn't overtly romantic or sexual in any way. But a love that existed among comrades in battle. How many lives had they saved and lost? How many nights had they spent together not knowing when the chaos would ever end? How many tears had they cried, smiles had they shared, and laughs had they had? Too many to count for all the above. And just like they had each other's back all those years on the street, they had each other's back out here after…..after. He was gone now. Everyone was gone. And she wanted to die too. She would rather be with them than be here. As much as she wanted to block them out, memories of her life always found their way back. Haunting her…teasing her…reminding her of all that she had lost.

" _What the fuck is going on? I just saw a guy literally eat someone over on Dekalb."_

" _I don't know…I don't know. Get some supplies and let's get the hell out of here." Pulling a bag off the rack she began throwing anything she could find into it. Behind her a hissing and moaning. Turning around she dropped the bag as she stared in horror as what could only be described as a walking corpse. Teeth snapping it lunged for her as she stepped to the side. She was literally paralyzed with terror. And then her partner came around the corner. He had a bat in his hand as he proceeded to beat the corpse over on and over. On the ground it twitched and moaned. The thing was literally pulverized and it was still moving. Backing up she snapped back to reality grabbing the bag and her partner by the arm._

" _We need to FUCKING GO!"_

Eyes snapping open she didn't want to remember anymore. That wasn't a particularly good memory but it didn't matter because he was there. He was alive. She wasn't alone. Lowering herself out of the window she checked the door before wandering over to Daryl. Peeling the covers back slightly she checked his wound. The bleeding had stopped as she replaced the bloody gauze with a clean one. Watching his chest rise and fall she saw that his breathing had become considerably easier. She should be able to pull the tube out tomorrow. Covering him back up she watched the expression on his face change from peaceful to troubled. She didn't envy this man or the position he was in. Quietly she tip toed back across the room. On the floor she spread out an old sleeping bag as she laid down not yet closing her eyes. She knew what she would see when they closed.

Carl was pretending to be asleep. He saw the strange woman walk over and check Daryl. He watched the way she uncovered him, checked the wound, and then covered him back up. Carl wasn't sure why he felt the need to watch her but he did. In both his life before and after he had never seen a woman so balls out. She knew what to do and when to do it. In that way she mesmerized him. He also couldn't help but to find her strange. She was doing all this but honestly she didn't seem to care one way or another. All this trouble and yet she was so non-plussed by it all he wondered why she did it in the first place. And then there was Daryl. Carl didn't know why but he felt some strange obligation to make sure he protected the man. Yes he was their best chance at getting back to the group but there was something more. He cared about them…he cared about them more than he had to. And he protected them, he cleaned their cuts, he saw to it that they were fed and clothed, and warm at night even if that meant he wasn't.

Rolling over Carl watched as Daryl slept on the bed. His face contorting with emotion periodically before relaxing again. There was also the guilt he felt. It was his fault that Daryl got shot. Shane would have never found him if he didn't run away from Daryl in the first place. So childish and stupid, why couldn't he have listened just this once? And Shane would have never killed those people if Carl had chosen correctly and not gone hunting after the lunatic. But most of all he would have never shot Daryl if Carl, stupid as can be, didn't lead the crazy bastard right back to where he knew….HE KNEW Daryl would be. So this was all Carl's fault. And he knew it.

Pushing himself up he tiptoed over to the bed. He hadn't know Daryl for very long and yet in his wildest dreams he could have never imagined the man looking like he did right now. Pale, sickly, weak these were words never used to describe Daryl Dixon. And yet here he was.

Daryl's keen perception must have existed in sleep as well. Carl hadn't been there very long and yet he could feel someone staring at him. Flickering his eyes open he saw Carl sitting on the edge of the bed. The boy had aged ten years since he had last taken a good look at him. His hair was greasy and matted to his forehead, his eyes had dark circles around them; guilt was written all over his face. Licking his lips Daryl's voice came out quiet and raspy. "What's a matter?"

He watched the boy look down at his hands before looking around the cabin and then back down at his hands. His lower lip trembled as he refused to look Daryl in the eye. "I'm sorry, Daryl. It's my fault you got shot." With that the flood gates opened and all the emotion Carl had been holding back all day came pouring out. The fear, the anger, the guilt, the sadness, the sheer terror; it spilled out onto his cheeks and down his face.

Daryl's expression softened. Taking the boy's had in his own he regarded Carl seriously. "Because of you, I'm alive. You found help."

Carl shook his head, bound and determined to believe otherwise. "No…No this would have never happened if I had just picked you." The emotion behind those words was not lost on Daryl as he felt his own eyes mist over. Carl would never know how much he had wanted to be the one who got picked. For obvious reasons of course but also because it meant he was doing a good job, it meant that he was someone they trusted and cared about. It meant that he wasn't his father.

Daryl was weak and he couldn't do much but he knew that Carl needed him right now. He needed him to get better, he needed him to find his father, he needed him to protect them but most of all he needed Daryl to make him feel like everything would be ok. Scooting over in the bed, Daryl made room on his left side for Carl. The boy continued to sob into his hands as Daryl pulled him down onto the bed next to him. Wrapping his arm around Carl's shoulders he felt him tentatively relax a bit. Ruffling the boy's hair he spoke again his voice barely above a whisper.

"I'm sorry for you know…uh…hitting you like that." It made him sick to even say the words and if Carl jumped up and ran across the room he wouldn't blame him. He didn't move though as he looked up at the older man seriously.

"It's ok. I deserved it." If Daryl was in any condition he would give the boy a good talking to about that but he was weak and even this was a monumental effort. Shaking his head his voice was low and serious.

"Nobody deserves that, Carl. I just…." Before he finished Sophia appeared. Her eyes were filled with tears as she looked at Daryl trembling.

"Are you ok?" The first man who made her feel safe in her entire life and she thought she was going to watch him die. Taking her hand with the arm he already had around Carl, he looked at her seriously.

"I'm fine. Not planning on going anywhere." She looked unsure as he pulled her over carefully inspecting the bruise on her wrist. "I'm sorry for that." He felt so ashamed of what he did to them. Looking Sophia in the eyes he blinked a couple times trying not to cry himself. "I …I got scared. I didn't want anything to happen to you guys." Before being shot he would have never said something like that. Now it didn't matter as much.

Sophia crawled in the bed next to Carl as they both cuddled closer into Daryl. He was hurting but he didn't mind. "It's going to be ok, guys. We're going to get out of this and find your parents."

Sophia's voice was small and quiet but he had no doubt about what he heard, "All that matters is we have you." It made him feel warm and special and like he had done a good job. They weren't with him because they had no choice; they were with him because they wanted to be.

Across the room the woman rolled over on her side as she watched the emotional display in front of her. It made a small part of her feel just the slightest bit hopeful that good still existed in this fucked up world. The majority of her, however, felt sad because she knew inevitably their entire world would soon be crushed by reality. And just like her everyone they loved would also be gone.

**I'm back ! Reviews are always appreciated**


	10. Chapter 10

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** This story is AU and in it Sophia is never a walker. Takes place on the farm while Daryl is searching for the girl. My first attempt at Walking Dead fanfiction, hope you like it! Please review! I know it's been forever but I'm finishing it even though ten million things have happened on the show since.

**Chapter Ten**

The forest was quiet as Daryl walked softly down the path. Inhaling deeply he wondered if it ever felt so good to take a breath. Guess you never appreciate something so simple until you can't do it no more. Light rain fell on the leaves above him as he leaned back against a tree sliding down to sit on the soft moss. Reflexively he lifted a tentative hand to his side as a sharp pain radiated through his body. His chest still hurt like hell but he was alive and for that fact alone he was beyond grateful.

His eyes dropped into his lap as a hard lump rose up in the back of his throat. Guilt; he would recognize the bitter taste anywhere. He had always been the one who took care of everyone else; kept everyone safe and now here he was...the weakest one of them all. No one was watching him but he kept his eyes downcast anyway, it was habit...to feel ashamed of himself for one thing or another. He closed his eyes and he saw Carl staring up at him and then he felt the sting of his palm against the boy's face. He still thought he could feel that sting in his hand. Tingling right there on his palm; always ready to remind him he was no better than his daddy. Opening his eyes he looked around the forest, quiet...peaceful but inside of him he felt anything but. He saw himself laying flat on the ground, bleeding...dying...and he saw Shane square off on Carl. A bolt sticking out of his back, blood coming from his nose and mouth, and a shaky hand holding his slick black service piece level with Carl's head. And Daryl...he didn't have a breath inside of him to stop it. He was paralyzed almost; so weak he couldn't lift his head off the ground to protect them. But someone did protect them; Sophia...a child all of twelve, who cried to her mother afraid of the dark, shot Shane dead in cold blood. Then there was the woman. He still didn't know her name; she never offered it up and he took that as his cue not to ask. She saved his life, though, and she didn't have to and at times seemed like she didn't want to either. But she did nonetheless and without her he was sure that he would be dead right now.

Nausea built inside of Daryl as he blinked a few times. What would have happened next had Carl not found her? Which one of them would have put him down when he turned ? It made him sick as he felt his mouth water and the muscle in his throat tighten. An image of himself reanimating into a walker snapped and clawing at Sophia while Carl stood by with a gun in his shaking hand unable to pull the trigger just like with Shane. Or maybe he would have pulled the trigger...so mad at Daryl for screwing everything up.

_He was sitting outside on the back porch. Even in the darkness he could see the mound of dirt in the backyard. His jacket was too thin and the air was cold; cutting through him like a knife as he shivered. Somewhere behind him he could hear his daddy laughing that sick, drunken taunt he had heard so many times._

" _You literally fuck everything up, Daryl...everything. What a screw up." The crash of a beer bottle breaking next to him caused him to jump as he stood up and walked into the darkness. He was twelve that winter. It was just him and his daddy...living in a squalid trailer in a no where town called Alto, Georgia. His mama had been dead almost four years, burnt to nothing with the house. Merle was locked up in the county jail, this time for a good long while probably, assault on a cop was no misdemeanor. That left him and his daddy and Daryl had never been so scared in his whole life. Sure he was bigger and stronger than before but he was still a kid and this time there was no one there to hold him back._

_So Daryl started living in the woods and he would stay out there for days at a time. One summer morning he woke up and a dog was sitting outside his tent. A straggly mutt if he ever saw one, it looked part shepherd and part who the hell knows what. At first Daryl didn't want nothing to do with the dog knowing full and well he couldn't take care of it. He barely had enough to eat himself...how could he feed a dog too? But that mutt wouldn't leave him alone and pretty soon he thought of her as his. He washed her, played with her, and fed her what he could. And she loved him...loved him in a way that he had been aching for._

_It was cold last night, much colder than it should be for Georgia. So he snuck her inside and this morning when he took her back outside he put her on the chain like always. But the clasp had frozen over night and she slipped out of it running down the street to find him no doubt. He saw her there in the ditch when he got home from school. Thrown out like trash. He didn't cry at first, picked her up and took her out back._

_The ground was frozen though and it took so much effort to break it with the shovel. He struggled, weak and shivering from the lack of clothing and food. Daryl was frustrated, upset, hopeless and as he forced the shovel into the ground one more time he caught sight of her laying there motionless on the ground and he remembered all the times she filled him with a sensation so foreign he didn't realize what it was until just now. Love. The first thing in the whole world that loved him; unconditionally, endlessly, blindly. And he broke down right there sobbing on the ground with no one to hear. She was just a dog but she loved him and because he was too stupid...too careless...and a screw up she was dead. The only good thing in his life gone and no one to blame but himself._

"You think one more day..." Daryl snapped his eyes open. He had been so lost in his own world that he didn't even hear her coming up. But there she was standing in front of him. The same flat expression, the same hopeless slump. Her hand hung loosely at her side; the .22 sitting idly almost completely out of bullets. He didn't know that though and he wouldn't. He was up and around and as far as she was concerned it was time for all of them to get moving. The longer they stayed the more she felt herself coming back to life. And that was far from what she wanted. There as nothing to feel alive for anymore; as the constantly reminded herself that the growing warmth inside her chest was a cruel joke.

Daryl nodded as he looked down. He couldn't look her in the eye and he wasn't sure why that was. Her stare, while not unkind, was cold and penetrating and it made him uncomfortable. But that wasn't it and he knew it. For the first time in his whole life he was completely reliant on another person. He would be dead without her, and he had never needed anyone to help him survive. He was weak and if there was one word that scared him more than anything it was that. Weak. He let the word roll over the back of his throat making him sick.

Daryl nodded silently as his eyes flickered to her before looking away. "Yeah." The woman nodded as she let out a long sigh sitting on the log opposite him. She folded her arms on her knees as she let her head hang down.

"Those your kids?" Her voice surprised him as he jumped slightly. When did he get so damn jumpy? That wasn't like Daryl at all but after the last few days his nerves were completely shot.

Shaking his head he grunted, "Nah." She didn't bother looking up at him as her voice came out flat and emotionless.

"Their parents dead?" It made sense but up until that moment Daryl hadn't considered that Rick, Lori, and Carol could be dead. There was just no time to; his mind completely preoccupied with being stalked by Shane. He had just always assumed that one day they would find them and everything would be fine. All things considered it wasn't very realistic but the alternative was something he didn't want to think about.

He shrugged his shoulders as he briefly met her eyes. "I hope not."

She let out a wry laugh as she shook her head looking up the sky before back at him. "There ain't no hope anymore." And then for the first time Daryl began to wonder what he would do if they never found them. If Carl and Sophia became his forever. A couple weeks ago he would have laughed at the mere thought; why on earth would a kid want to stay with an asshole like him? Believing at his core that he was no better than his old man and would never be, Daryl didn't expect any kid with a choice and a brain to come anywhere near him.

Rubbing the stubble on his chin he kept his eyes averted downward. Her perceptive eyes were on him, waiting for a reply, waiting for him to say something...anything...that could make her believe again. But Daryl was silent as she wondered when things had changed and they went from needing to be with him, to wanting to be with him. Because if they had any doubts or fears both of them could have easily walked off and let him die there on the ground. But they didn't and despite the bruises on Sophia's arm and the red mark across Carl's face they stayed with him. They did more than that...they saved his life. If he never found Rick and the others they would find a way to be ok.

She seemed to be waiting for him to say something. Licking his lips he looked up at her before looking away. He never thought he would be so weak and so dependent on another person. He felt ashamed and he couldn't look at her no matter how hard he tried. "Thanks..." his voice was rough and like gravel as it hitched in his throat, "Thanks for uh..." Before he could finish she cut him off.

"They need you." Her eyes wandering back to the shack where Carl and Sophia were still sleeping. "And I...I can't..." Her voice momentarily wavered with emotion before quickly returning to her monotone baseline. Daryl was caught off guard but dismissed it as she stood up and walked wordlessly out into the trees.

* * *

The days were getting shorter and the nights longer and colder. Daryl wasn't sure the date but he knew that it was early fall, maybe September. He also knew that he had two kids and no where to go. The mission had always been to find Rick, Carol, and the others but now he needed to start thinking about what would happen if they didn't find them and how they would survive the winter.

His chest still ached but as he stared at their meager possessions on the cabin's table he wondered, for the first time, if he was in over his head. If it was just him no problem he would survive someway, somehow but it wasn't just him. He had two kids with little more than the clothes on their back. Somewhere deep inside himself he felt sick. How would he keep them warm, keep them safe, keep them fed? They weren't his and he would never fool himself into thinking that they were but in that moment he wondered if this was how all fathers felt at one time or another. All good fathers...because God knows his dad never spent a second worrying about him.

It was dark out and late but Daryl couldn't sleep. He had slept enough in the last few days and he was edgy and ready to get back on the road. Sitting down at the table he looked over at Sophia and Carl sleeping on the bed. For tonight they were warm and safe and he could breath. The woman was outside somewhere he wasn't sure where. He was able to hunt up a couple of rabbits they cooked over the open fire and he was grateful that he could repay her in someway, no matter how meager it was. They ate in silence and then, without a word, she retreated into the forest; the .22 hanging limply at her side.

Carl watched her disappear into the trees and Daryl assumed a barrage of questions would follow. But there was nothing but silence as Daryl couldn't help but to notice that things had changed. Carl had never made a decision with such swift and unwanted consequences. And he didn't really even know he was making the decision at all. It just seemed right...pick Shane. He had known the man his entire life...trusted him his entire life, why should he stop now? Carl should have known the decision was wrong when he couldn't stop thinking about Daryl. Nobody but his father and his mother ever made him feel as safe and as protected as Daryl did. Not even Shane. So he should have known better. As he looked at Daryl out of the corner of his eye he reminded himself, once again, how badly he had screwed up.

Daryl watched as Carl turned something over in his mind before the boy got up and silently went back into the shack. He sat there for a while staring into the fire. Sophia across from him, her knees hugged to her chest chin resting forward as tears built in her eyes. She was scared. He could feel it; almost vibrating in the air. Reluctantly he stood up moving around the other side of the fire. Daryl was never one to offer comfort first; not because he didn't want to...he did...he just didn't know how. Sophia was just a kid...a little girl, and it was different. Sliding down next to her she automatically leaned into him as he exhaled his body tense. It wasn't like the two of them hadn't cuddled up to him before. Each time, though, he had remind himself to relax. That this was ok. That not every time two human beings touched each other one of them got hurt. He would always have to remind himself of that and override his natural inclination to flinch at even the slightly contact.

Beside him Sophia began to cry as he felt her shoulders shaking. "I'm scared, Daryl. Where are we going to go?"

He exhaled as he stared into the flames. He was scared too and he didn't know where they were going to go. But he couldn't tell her that. Reaching his hand over he ran his fingers across her hair as she cuddled into his side. "We'll find a place. It'll be alright." She was quiet for a while and then Daryl felt her drift off. Lifting her carefully he carried her into the cabin and put her on the bed next to Carl. Covering them both up he sat down at the table and began going over things in his head.

When he couldn't think anymore he hefted the crossbow on his shoulder with a wince. He needed to walk, to get the hell out of there and think about all this. Closing the door to the cabin quietly he stepped out into the dark, cool night air. He wouldn't go far, never letting the cabin out of his sight. Since he was able to get out of bed and around he had been going out on watch and walking the perimeter. He didn't know how to do anything else. She frowned at him, stumbling around the woods, wound on his chest still oozing blood. He knew better but he just couldn't lay around.

Daryl walked softly through the trees eyes sweeping side to side. His gaze settled up ahead at the glow of orange against the trees. He inched closer staying down behind the bushes his cross bow up and ready. Leaning forward he saw her face in the flicker of the flames as he dropped the weapon to his side. Her eyes stared into the fire as she played with the gun in her hands. Daryl dropped down to one knee as he took a moment to look at her, really look at her. He had caught glimpses of her over the past few days out of the corner of his eye but never really saw her. She made sure that he didn't, turning away every time their eyes met. He had seen her when he was working on him but only in delirious flashes.

Her eyes were light blue, large and round. He imagined before all this they could light up a room. He wasn't one to assume such things but the lines around around her eyes and mouth told him she used to smile all the time. Her hair was a mess of dark brown on her head and her mouth was drawn into a thin line. She had a deep scar on her cheek from what he could only imagine. Daryl was about to stand up and go back just as silently as he had came when the wind blew and the flames flickered brighter. He let the air out of his lungs as he saw something in her face. Something in that moment when the flames flashed...something familiar. And then he knew...she was going to kill herself.

_A few months before the outbreak Daryl was sitting in a dirty hotel room just outside Atlanta. Gray light filtered through the curtains as he stared down at his hands. It was Merle's idea to come here; wanted to score Meth from some guy in the city. He should have told him to fuck off but like always he went along with whatever Merle wanted to do. Sure enough Merle got high and Daryl got drunk like he usually did. He didn't really like getting drunk but he had to do something. And like always the alcohol made him see his life for what it really was. Some might say he was just feeling sorry for himself; but Daryl wasn't the sort. He had been through enough shit in his life that if he felt sorry for himself he would never feel anything else._

_He was alone now. Running his thumb back and forth over his knuckles Daryl hesitantly lifted his gaze to the mirror in front of him. It was smeared with finger prints and the reflective paint was chipping from the sides. He never liked looking at himself, wasn't much to see. He was thirty-five years old...he had no job. He had no family. He was a drifter, a loner, he barely even had a roof over his head. No one was ever looking for him and no one ever missed him. Every meager chance he had got in life he managed to blow one way or another and here he was with nothing. If he had never wanted anything, never cared, just knew he would be this way and nothing better; it wouldn't hurt as much as it did. But Daryl knew a want...an ache... deep in his heart to do more. He wanted a family of his own, and kids, and wife who would love him no matter what. He wanted to do something meaningful with is life. He wanted to be the person other people depended on. But no matter how much he wanted it; he could never truly believe that he deserved any of that. He was shit...he would always be shit. There was no way around that._

_Staring at himself blankly in the mirror Daryl was struck with the realization that he would be better off dead. Nothing was ever going to change. Taking a deep breath, he looked into his eyes and he saw nothing. Emptiness, a hollow look so profound he felt his heart squeeze in his chest as his stomach turned into knots. Over the years he had thought about killing himself more than once. He wasn't a weak person but an entire lifetime of being denied everything he ever wanted had taken its toll._

_Daryl silently climbed into the brown stained bath tub and pulled the shower curtain closed. The gun Christina's brother sold him in his right hand. He released the magazine looked at the rounds stacked inside and then slid it back. There was no sense in thinking about this; just what needed to be done. What always needed to be done. His whole he had been told he was nothing but a mistake. Bringing the gun up he pressed it against the base of his skull. Few years ago one of Merle's buddies tried to off himself but ended up shooting his face off instead. Daryl wanted to make sure he did it right the first time. Taking a deep breath he closed his eyes, his finger on the trigger._

_And then he sat there and five minutes went by and then ten and pretty soon his arm started shaking and he couldn't hold the gun level anymore. Letting the gun fall to his side he leaned his head back against the stained tile. He couldn't fucking do it. No matter how much he wanted his shitty life to be over he didn't have to balls to do it himself. While Daryl thought it was just because he was a pussy; he knew somewhere deep inside himself it was really because he couldn't give up on that little boy he had been so long ago. The little boy who loved books, school, and his mama. The little boy who wanted nothing more than to grow up and be a good man. A man not at all like his father._

Daryl hesitantly stood up as the memory faded. The woman continued to stare in the fire not even flicking a glance toward him as he moved toward her. Even if she wanted to shoot him...had to shoot him...she wouldn't. She had one bullet left and it was for her. Daryl didn't make eye contact as he sat down across from her, the flames flickering between them.

"How long you been out here?" His voice came out raspy and smooth as she briefly met his gaze before looking back down.

"Since the beginning." Daryl was surprised to hear her voice, he wasn't really sure she would answer him.

"Been alone the whole time?" A wry laugh escaped her lips as she shook her head.

"Nobody survives alone; you should know that by now." She looked at him dubiously before looking back down at the gun in her hands. "I was out here with a man. Just the two of us for a long, long time." She paused and Daryl thought she was done talking before her smooth, emotionless voice broke the silence. "We were partners before...we were close."

Daryl grunted, "You a cop?" Shane and Rick had been partners and look how well that turned out. He couldn't help but to wonder if something similar went down.

"No. Paramedics...Tactical EMS." Daryl gave her a strange look; he'd never heard of such a thing before. She smiled although there was no happiness behind it, only the barest amusement. "We were on a SWAT Team, medical support for the guys if anything went down. The cops taught me how to shoot, I taught them how to keep each other alive." She met Daryl' s eyes and through the cold stare he could see pain and sadness. "When everyone else was running out of the city we stayed and made a stand..." She swallowed hard. "We tried...but there were too many of them." She shook her head as she closed her eyes. "My partner and I were the only ones to get out...he got bit a few weeks ago. I did everything I could but..." She trailed off as she briefly met his eyes before looking away with a shrug.

"You should come with us. We have a group...good people. Just got to find them." Daryl knew how Rick felt about outsiders...knew how he felt about outsiders but this woman was a good person; he just knew it. And she had skills; a lot of them, skills that could be very valuable.

The woman looked at the flames for a moment as she fingered the trigger of her piece. "You been out here all this time and you still don't get it?" Daryl was slightly taken a back. "Everyone is dead; if they aren't dead now they will be soon. Your group..." She waved the gun absently toward the dark forest. "They're dead, Daryl."

He shook his head, "Nah. You don't know, Rick. He's smart...strong."

She shrugged her shoulders. "You're right I don't know Rick. But I know the truth...everyone you love will die. And one day you will be just like me with nothing and no one." She stood up kicking dirt on the fire as it went out and a hazy darkness filled the space between them. "I can't come with you. I just..." She looked up at the sky as she shook her head. "I can't care about anyone else. I won't go through that again." Daryl stood up so they were facing each other. She could barely make out the silhouette of his face. Looking at him she offered an apologetic smile; the first sincere expression he had seen from her. "I'm sorry."

Before he could respond she walked silently back toward the cabin. Daryl stood up as he watched her go exhaling loudly. Her words stirring a fear deep inside him.

* * *

"You think we'll find my dad today?" Carl had all but forgotten the drama of the past week and had returned to pestering Daryl. While the older man pretended to be annoyed he couldn't help but to feel relieved that things were finally back to normal.

"I don't know, Carl. We'll try." That seemed to satisfy the boy as he trudged up the hill following closely to Daryl as Sophia walked behind in silence. The bruise on her arm had faded to yellow although Daryl would be sick just looking at her until it was gone completely. The woman hiked a few feet ahead of them. She knew the way to the highway and had offered to point them in the right direction. While Daryl could track his way out of a sandstorm, he said nothing hoping that maybe she would change her mind. The road came into view as he quickly realized they were coming to the end of the line. Daryl's eyes scanned the road for walkers but it was empty. She stopped and looked at him for a moment before averting her gaze back toward the ground. Daryl pointed Carl and Sophia toward a gray car with all the doors open.

"Stand by the car and I'll be right back." Sophia looked panicked for a moment. "And Carl...get your gun out. Keep watch until I get back." The boy nodded eagerly; satisfied with his promotion.

The woman turned and walked back into the tree line, Daryl not far behind her. "Are you sure you won't come with us?" He nervously fingered the strap of his crossbow.

She smiled at him before shaking her head. "Ah...I can't." He wasn't sure if she was smiling because she felt something or because she was finally free to do what she wanted. The sun shone through the forest in long slats of light as Daryl felt the air leave his lungs. "You know I was worried that no one would ever know my story...the story of all those that I loved...that it would die with me." She bit down on her lip as her voice wavered with emotion. "Because then did it really happen? If no one knows...and no one remembers...maybe it never happened at all. And I didn't want that...because I knew some really great people and they deserve to be remembered." Tears spilled onto her cheeks as Daryl felt his own throat tighten.

Slowly she closed the space between them. Normally Daryl would tense at this invasion of personal space but not this time. Reaching up she gently ran her hand over his cheek as their lips met in a gentle kiss. An honest moment between two broken people. When she pulled back she let her hand trail down to his as their fingers touched briefly. "I was wrong, Daryl. Not everyone dies. You're going to make it, I promise."

He grunted as he shook his head. "I'll never forget you...I promise." She smiled as she backed away from him. Turning she began to walk away before she could think about it anymore.

"Hey." Daryl yelled after her as she cast a glance over her shoulder. "I don't even know your name."

She turned to face him with an honest smile. Daryl was suddenly struck with how pretty she must have been before the world went to shit. How pretty she still was. "My name is Julie." He watched her disappear into the trees before walking back toward Carl and Sophia.

_After climbing out of that dirty bath tub Daryl walked straight out of that shitty motel room and got into his truck and drove. Fuck Merle he could find his own way home. He didn't know where he was going but he drove and when he was sick of driving he pulled off the highway in a small town south of Atlanta called Senoia. Looked like some good hunting; Daryl had leaned long ago the best way to get his head right was a walk in the woods._

_Along the road a small white church came into view. He never put much stock in that at all but something about that church on that day made him stop. The doors were wide open and someone was singing a song he didn't know. It was still beautiful all the same as he walked inside and slid into a pew near the back. It was empty except for that voice. Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and prayed to God or whoever might be listening that he found a way out of the darkness that had swallowed most of his life._

_The singing stopped and when he opened his eyes a young blonde girl stood in front of him with the sweetest smile he had ever seen. She asked him if her singing was bothering him and all he could do was stare. She looked at him and in a way she looked right through him. He didn't say a word but somehow she knew that something was troubling him. Silently she sat down next to him and they stayed that way until Daryl got up and left. He hated himself that day but still, someone wanted to sit next to him...be there with him...be there for him. That beautiful young blonde girl with the voice of an angel gave him hope that he could still make something meaningful of his shitty life._

_That girl in the church was Beth. He didn't know her name that day or for six months after until he rode up onto Hershel's farm and saw her standing there. He recognized her immediately, how could he not? She had given him a reason to keep living on a day when he was ready to quit. Funny thing was, they got to talking to one another and he wasn't even sure she remembered him. But one night when he was on watch late at night and the house was quiet with everyone asleep inside the door creaked open and she appeared. Humming that same song she sang the day at the church she sat down next to him not saying a word. They stayed that way for a little while before she got up to go back inside. He wanted to thank her. tell her what that moment at the church meant to him but he never got the chance because ironically enough a few days later she tried to kill herself with a kitchen knife._

_He sat outside her room. She never knew that. But he only felt it right after everything she had done for him._

Everything he may never get the chance to thank her for. Daryl hoped that he made that right with what he had done for Julie. He would probably never know that either. He was so lost in thought he didn't hear the leaves rustling until it was too late. Reflexively Daryl brought his crossbow up before feelings arms go weak.

"Well holy shit ! Never thought I see you again, baby brother !" Daryl inhaled sharply not quite believing his eyes. "Come here and give old Merle a hug !"

**TBC...**

**Yes I intend to finish this once and for all. Just a couple more chapters probably**

**Thinking a Bethyl as a follow up to this. Let me now what you think**


	11. Chapter 11

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** This story is AU and in it Sophia is never a walker. Takes place on the farm while Daryl is searching for the girl. My first attempt at Walking Dead fanfiction, hope you like it! Please review! I know it's been forever but I'm finishing it even though ten million things have happened on the show since.

**Chapter Eleven**

All the air left Sophia's lungs as a familiar voice stopped her dead in her tracks. Merle. Turning around she fought the urge to scream as she laid her eyes on what could only be described as a bionic redneck. Merle stood there half cocked as usual; his right arm was gone and in it's place a roll of metal with a sword on the end. Subconsciously Sophia slid behind Daryl so that she was almost completely concealed. Her small fingers wrapped around his back pocket as he shifted the crossbow in his arms and his hand reached back. Resting on her shoulder he pushed her behind him even further. Nervously her gaze shifted to Carl who fingered the gun on his hip.

Daryl didn't make a move as he stood there staring at his brother. After Rick locked him to the roof in Atlanta Daryl was livid and would have done anything to find him. But time had passed and Daryl had been given the chance to grow into the man he could never be with Merle hanging around. He liked that man and he didn't want to let him go.

"Now what the hell is all this?" Merle swung his prosthesis through the air wildly. "Ya ain't even happy to see your own brother?"

Daryl shook his head not wanting to make anything worse than it already was. "Nah...Good to see you, man." Taking a few steps forward he slung his arm around Merle before quickly stepping back. He could feel both Carl and Sophia leaning against him as he put a hand behind his back. Without hesitation Sophia grabbed onto his fingers and held tight.

Merle looked from right to left as a puzzled expression crossed his face. "You runnin' some kind of demented daddy daycare, brother?" His eyes went from Sophia to Carl where they stayed as an evil grin spread across his face. Jabbing the prosthesis in the air he took a step toward Carl. "Now ain't that the sheriff's kid?" Carl swallowed hard as he kept one hand on his gun and the other wrapped tightly around Daryl's fingers. A strange juxtaposition if ever there was one.

"Got separated from the group a while back. Just tryin' to get them back to their folks." Merle was silent for a moment before he laughed a little too loudly.

"I know that's right, little brother. Because you don't know shit about takin' care of anyone but yourself." Inside Daryl felt those familiar doubts begin to rise up like bile in the back of his throat. His shoulders slumped ever so slightly. Merle was the only person left in the world who could cut him down so fast. Well...not the only person. Nobody had ever been harder on Daryl than himself.

"That's not true. Daryl's been keeping us safe and he's going to find my dad again." Carl spat out hesitantly.

Merle scowled at Carl as his face twisted into a sick smile. "Well I hope he does..." Stabbing the blade on his prosthesis toward Carl he made the boy jump back. "Because me and him...well we got some unfinished business.

Carl swallowed hard as he tucked himself behind Daryl squeezing his hand until the blood drained out. "How many people you with?" He knew Merle couldn't be on his own out here. Sure they had been drifting around before the turn surviving, but Daryl was the hunter, the tracker, the survivor. Merle didn't really know shit about living off the grid; it was always Daryl who took care of what they needed. All Merle worried about was getting drunk, high, and finding some pussy for the night.

_Daryl sat at the table a cigarette in his mouth and a can of coke in front of him. Sweat rolled down the back of his neck as he rolled it side to side. The light over his head flickered a little as he looked up at it with a frown before going to the kitchen and retrieving a new bulb. He couldn't explain it but just doing that; changing a light bulb gave him a certain level of satisfaction. Sitting there he took a drag on his cigarette as he stared at it._

_He was twenty years old. He had his own place. If his goddamned light bulb flickered he could go to the kitchen and get another one. He had a fucking kitchen that was clean, the appliances worked, and there was food in the cupboards. All those years living with his old man and he had somehow turned into a civilized adult. While he could outwardly marvel at that fact he knew deep in his heart that it was no surprise. He was smart and he knew that, but more than that he was strong and nothing was going to hold him down. He would always find a way._

_Looking at the stack of envelopes on the table he sighed a little. He had been in this place for about a month and the first round of bills had finally come in. The money was no issue; Daryl had been working as a mechanic for a few months now and had a little something saved up. But beyond that he had been so so careful to keep all his expenses as low as possible. There was only one problem. He didn't know how to write a check._

_It was so stupid and he felt stupid just for admitting it, even to himself. He went to the bank a few months back to open his account and he felt like a grown up Oliver Twist. The place was so clean and shiny, all the men were wearing three piece suits, and all the women had jewelry he was sure cost more than everything he had to his name. He stood there against the wall with grease stains all over him as he felt like maybe he should hold his hat out for a donation. The woman who finally acknowledged him standing there looking right down her nose at him like he was an animal and he had to summon all the resolve he had to not get up out of there and take off._

_Walking to his truck in the hot Georgia sun, Daryl swung the door open as he slid behind the wheel. He took the checkbook she gave him out of his pocket and flipped through it. They were just blank checks. The bitch inside had explained that he would get ones with his name and address in a few weeks. Problem was he didn't have an address right now; least not one he was planning to stay at. He didn't miss the way she pursed her lips and rolled her eyes at that revelation. Grinding his teeth back and forth Daryl shook his head. Fuck her. He was doing this and no uppity bank bitch was going to make him feel otherwise. Be damned if he was going to live like his old man off the government._

_Staring at the stack of envelopes he pulled his check book out of his pocket. Today at the garage some lady handed him a check and before he turned it over to the office he copied down what she wrote onto a blank check of his own. Holding the pen he carefully printed the date as a shrill ringing caused him to jump. Stubbing the cigarette out his brow furrowed. Who the hell knew this number already. Eyes slipping closed for a moment his heart sank._

" _Hello?" His shoulders slumped in defeat as he rubbed his forehead. "How much for bond?" His eyes drifted to the checkbook and the stack of unpaid bills. Sighing loudly he nodded to no one but himself. "Yeah I'll come get him." Daryl threw the coke can in the trash as he grabbed his check book and cast another glance at those envelopes. Flicking the light off he shrugged on a leather vest as he slammed the door behind him._

"Little brother what in sam hell is wrong with you?" Daryl snapped back to reality as he felt Sophia press her cheek against his hip. Merle stared at him like he was nuts, and getting that look from Merle didn't say much about you. Swallowing hard Daryl blinked a few times.

"Nothing..." It came out more of a grunt than a reply. Daryl looked at Merle for the first time since their little meeting. His eyes narrowed to slits as he took in the fact that his brother was filthy dirty, unshaven, and skinnier than he had been. He had a knife on his belt and the butt end of a pistol hung out of his pants. Whoever he was with, they didn't have much, because if they did Merle would be taking advantage of everything he could get his hands on.

"Said I been with a group of guys." He eyed Carl and Sophia before looking back at Daryl with a knowing glance. "They're pretty rough guys...if you know what I mean."

Sophia felt her heart race in her chest as she was filled with the sudden desire for Daryl to pick her up and hold her. It was ridiculous, honestly, she was twelve years old. Much to old to be coddled and held but she just couldn't help wanting it. Nobody...nobody had ever made her feel as safe as Daryl did. Certainly not her father and not even her own mother. Carol protected her but she also always went back to Ed and for that Sophia had lost faith in her long ago.

"Yeah...well I don't know." The sun was dipping below the horizon and Daryl knew night was coming. They had to get somewhere and while the prospect of camping with a bunch of hostile ex-cons didn't exactly thrill him neither did being on the road in the dark with two kids alone. Merle might have been a douche but he wouldn't let anyone bother Daryl. Blood is blood. How many fucking time he heard that over the years he couldn't count. Looking up at his brother he nodded reluctantly. "Alright."

Behind him Sophia felt her heart sink as Carl swallowed the lump in his throat. "Camp's just about a mile away. Glad your back, brother." Daryl bit his lip as he followed Merle down the path. Carl and Sophia still firmly attached to his belt behind.

* * *

She didn't turn back and look at Daryl once as she stalked through the woods. Julie. She had said her name out loud for the first time in weeks and it made her sick. She had been slowly but surely withdrawing herself from every last shred of her old identity. She had been shutting down every emotion she ever felt until she was left with only numbness. She was ready to do it, didn't have a single reservation and then that little shit came running through the woods and fucked everything up. Daryl, the little girl, the kid holding a gun on her for the better part the day...the medical shit...and now the goodbye. She felt like a human being again. Sitting down against a tree she looked down at the gun in her hands. That didn't mean she had changed her mind though, it just meant she was thinking about it more than she should have been.

Taking a deep breath she put the gun up to the back of her head like she had a few days ago. Smashing the barrel against the bottom of her skull she cleared her head of all the thoughts. She erased Carl smirking as he waved good bye, she erased Sophia's sweet and innocent smile, and she erased the feeling of Daryl's lips against her own. She had no idea why she kissed him, it wasn't out of attraction although he certainly was attractive. She just wanted to feel a real connection with a good person; she wanted that to be the last real thing she felt in this world. Not pain or fear or worse than all of that she didn't want to feel nothing.

The world went to shit, she did everything she could, and now she would leave this hellhole on a high note. Squeezing the trigger she was ready; there was nothing else left for her and she knew it. _'Slow, steady squeeze.'_ Her friends on the SWAT Team were always chiding her for yanking the trigger. She never had patience for much of anything. All the slack was gone; this was it. Her hand shook as she committed to the outcome and finished.

_CLICK._ There was no crack, just a click. Breathing in she was still alive as she heard the birds chirping around her. The gun hadn't gone off. Pulling it down she opened the slide. It was empty...her last bullet was gone. Suddenly a panic raced through her as she realized she was out here...still alive...without any ammo to kill herself or anyone else. Ripping her pack open, her eyes landed on a box of .22 rounds. Gasping she brought them up to her face looking at them almost reverently. What she wouldn't have given for this weeks ago. Sliding the tray out her eyes landed on a piece of folded paper. Her dirty fingers unfolded it as her eyes scanned the words, tears beginning to pool.

' _This world needs people like you. Hope I saved your life...because I owe you mine.'_

Shaking her head a smile came to her face as she wiped the tears away.

* * *

Daryl walked a few steps behind Merle as his eyes swept back and forth over the near darkened woods. At this side Sophia grabbed his arm and held on tight. "Daryl I don't want to go." Carl was silent on the other side although Daryl knew the boy well enough to know that he was scared shitless. Stopping he bent down so that he could look Sophia in the eye.

"I know. It'll be ok. Just a night then we'll be gone in the morning." He rubbed her forearm gently right over the bruise he left there a few days ago. Reaching down she latched onto his hand and refused to let go. Standing back up he shifted the cross bow so that he could hold her hand. Thankfully Carl was content keeping one hand wrapped around his belt and the other on his gun. Sophia had been fearful since the day he met her; but the more time they spent on the road the more she began to open up and he could see some of that fear fading away. He would never credit himself for that, although the truth was he was solely responsible for it. For the first time in her life she had an adult that she could trust to always keep her safe. But ever since the whole shit show with Shane she had reverted back to the quiet, fearful child he met at the Quarry Camp. Swallowing back a bitterness in his mouth he knew that was his fault.

Merle walked a few steps ahead as a gathering of tents came into view. Daryl sneered, this was worse than he thought it was going to be. "Hey...Hey Merle." The older man stopped as Daryl caught up. He had never asked his brother for anything, was always the other way around. But tonight he needed him to do something. "I'm going to tell them these are my kids, and I don't want you to say shit about it." Merle spun around and eyed Daryl. Disbelief tinged his features as he gave his little brother a once over. He had changed in the time they were apart. Merle always knew that Daryl was a good man. He would never admit that and he cut him down every chance he got, but he knew in his heart that him and Daryl weren't the same. Never was.

"Don't know why you'd want to claim that little bastard but..." He jabbed the blade toward Carl making the boy jump. "Whatever."

Daryl took a breath as they walked into camp. Were they safe...hell no but he reasoned the best play here was to make sure these shit heads knew he would do anything to keep these two kids safe. Claiming them as his own was the easiest way to get that point across.

"I'm back assholes." Daryl looked around; there were about ten men all together. They were rough looking that was for sure. Sophia squeezed his hand so tight he actually felt pain.

One of the bigger men stepped up to Merle clearly pissed about something. "What the fuck, Merle? You go out for food and come back with three more people to feed."

Merle stepped toward the guy, never one to back down from a fight. "Calm down, man. This is my brother Daryl and his..." Merle looked over and rolled his eyes. "His kids."

A few more of the guys appeared from their tents as Daryl stood his ground. "Just need a place to stay for the night. Don't mean no trouble." A man threw a can of something into the fire as they all stared Daryl over.

"Good. Because we don't want no trouble." A thin piece of shit with stringy hair and beady eyes looked down at Sophia as he took a step closer.

"Well aren't you the prettiest little thing." Daryl felt goosebumps all over him as his fingers curled around the strap of the crossbow. Reaching back with his other hand he pushed Sophia completely behind him as he put himself between her and his sick looks. The asshole looked up and feigned hurt, "Oh come on. I was just talking to her."

"That's enough." He ground the words out, low and menacing. The guy stood up and stared Daryl in the eye before backing away. He felt his heart racing as a fine tremble went through his body. He was in over his head and he knew it. No way he was taking all these guys out. Thankfully the tension broke as an argument started over who got the 'better' tent to sleep in. Carefully skirting the outer perimeter of the camp Daryl found a place near the fire and sat down. There would be no sleep tonight and he knew that. Opening his pack he found the cookies that Julie had given to him for the kids before they parted ways earlier. Without anyone seeing it he slid one out into his palm and passed it to Sophia. Ducking her head against his arm he felt her inhaling it in two bites. She was starving and he knew that; tomorrow he was going to have to do better for both of them. Taking the other one out he passed it to Carl as he shoved it into his own mouth before anyone could see.

"Hey dad." It took Daryl a minute to realize Carl was talking to him. Looking over at him his lips quirked up into a smirk. "Think tomorrow will be it?" He knew what Carl was asking; it was always the same question. Rick must have been one hell of a father because that boy could never lose faith in him.

"Yeah...son...maybe tomorrow." Carl smirked at Daryl as he scooted closer to him. On the other side Sophia lifted his arm as she cuddled herself into Daryl's side. Anyone else and he would feel strange about all this physical contact but she was a scared little girl. Bringing his arm back down he closed it protectively around her shoulders.

Daryl stared into the fire as he scanned the activity around camp. Some of the men had dispersed back into their tents, a few sat across from him to tell raucous stories by the fire. He wanted to tell them to shut the hell up before they brought every walker in Georgia down on them. Eyes falling to Merle he felt a certain level of disappointment that Merle could do no better than this group of idiots. His brother sat down next to him as he licked a can of baked beans. He offered nothing to Daryl as he threw the empty can into the fire. Not that he expected anything either. Merle always looked out for himself.

Daryl stared into the flames as Merle rambled on about cutting his hand off the hacksaw. After that he roamed around Atlanta nearly bled out until a car rode up a cross on the back and as he put it 'run him the fuck over'. He woke up in a hospital with a doctor sewing him up. They gave him antibiotics, saved his life. But the place was run by cops, Atlanta PD, and old Merle and cops well they just don't mix. Top it off some high riding bitch was trying to make him work for her. The fuck was that? First chance he got he cold cocked two of them and fought his way out of that hell hole. Was picked up by the group he's in a couple months back. Been going place to place. He caught Daryl staring at the metal arm as he lifted it up proudly.

"Built this sumbitch myself. What da ya think?" Daryl nodded keeping his voice low.

"It's nice." Merle rolled his eyes and laughed before laying his head back on the log behind them. Closing his eyes he muttered under his breath.

"Oh Daryl...Daryl...Daryl."

* * *

Daryl wasn't sure how long he sat there staring into the fire but some time later he felt a jolt go through his body as he snapped awake. The camp was quiet now and he didn't see anything moving. Carl was still firmly attached to his right side but on the left he felt a chill. Sophia...she was gone. The fire had died down and it was near dark as Daryl used his keen sense of hearing to survey his surroundings. Somewhere behind him he heard a muffled cry. In a split second he went from zero to full throttle as he felt adrenaline pumping in his ears. With a single fluid movement he was up as he brought the cross bow level. He hadn't made a sound but yet the sudden movement caused Carl to wake. Sitting up the boy was rigid with fear within seconds as he saw Daryl standing there crossbow loaded. He opened his mouth as Daryl cast a warning glance at him. Bringing his finger to his lips he signed for Carl to be quiet.

Carl could never get over how silently Daryl could move. He stood there paralyzed with his own fear as Daryl took a tentative step and slipped between two of the tents. He could hear whimpering and he knew that give their current company it could only be Sophia. Nausea nipped at the back of his throat as he swallowed hard. The moonlight was bright as he stepped behind the tent. He felt like someone had punched him in the stomach.

Sophia was pinned to a tree. The asshole with the long greasy hair had one hand over her mouth and the other under her shirt. Her pants were down as she stood there in her underwear. Without thinking Daryl squeezed the trigger sending a bolt straight through his back. He cried out loudly but Daryl was quick as he took two bounding leaps. Clapping his hand over the shit head's mouth he pulled his knife out and slit his throat. Blood splashed everywhere including all over Sophia who was now screaming. Behind him he heard a commotion in the camp as Carl appeared with his own gun drawn and Daryl's pack slung over his arm. Merle appeared first and for that Daryl was grateful.

His brother took in Sophia's half dressed appearance and quickly concluded what had happened. Daryl quickly went to Sophia as he pulled her pants up roughly. The girl couldn't move, was paralyzed with terror beyond anything Daryl could comprehend. Swinging the bow on his back he didn't think as he picked her up in his arms. Sophia instantly wrapped her arms and legs around him as she clung tight. Merle pulled the bolt from the dead man handing it back to Daryl he nodded.

"Go...get out of here." The two of them shared a look before Daryl dipped his head in silent thanks to Merle. For his part Merle managed a half smirk as he bent down taking the prick's knife from it's sheath, smearing some blood on it. They turned to run but not before Carl could turn back to Merle with a smirk of his own.

"Thanks Uncle Merle." That earned him a sneer that he didn't wait to see as he took off after Daryl.

"What the hell is going on ?" Daryl heard an angry voice as he ran through the forest into the darkness.

"Nothin to see here man...Gene he decided to opt out on the whole matter." Merle looked at the others with nonchalance.

"Where your brother go?"

Merle shrugged his shoulders picking Gene's knife up as he forced the blade through his skull. "Took off a couple hours ago. Didn't even say good bye. Ungrateful little prick."

A few of the men lingered trying to decide if this was a story or not. Shaking their heads they eventually went back to their tents. Merle stood up as he stared into the darkened trees. A smirk came to his face as he shook his head.

Daryl didn't know how long he ran for but eventually he became aware of Carl behind him begging him to stop. Thankfully daylight had just begun to break as they took a moment to settle down on a fallen log. In his arms Sophia whimpered softly as he tightened his arms around her. He wanted to know but he didn't. Judging by the fact that her underwear hadn't been pulled down he hoped that he had got there in time although any touch from a creep like that was enough to make his blood boil.

"Sophia..." His voice was low and raspy. Carl sat next to Daryl staring at the ground. He didn't know what the hell had just happened but he knew it was really bad. Sophia had been back there with a stranger and her pants were down. A few years back Rick had taken Carl and sat him down and in no uncertain terms told him that the only people who were ever allowed to touch him...well touch him down there were him and his mom. Nobody else. No aunts or uncles or grandpas or anybody. And if someone did try to touch him Rick said they would need to answer to him. The way he said it made Carl afraid. Just the look on his face was enough to make him want to hide. So even though Carl didn't really understand what it all meant he knew it was wrong...very very wrong. Normally he would be chatting Daryl up about one thing or another, getting on his last damn nerve, but today he stayed silent.

"Sophia...what happened?" Daryl didn't want the gory details because honestly it was too late to matter now but he did want to know if she was hurt.

She sniffled as she turned her head so that her mouth was facing his ear. "I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. I thought I could go real quick but...that man he was back there and he grabbed me." She shuddered in his arms. He wish he could some how hold her closer to him to make her feel safe, to let her know that nothing else was going to happen to her as long as he was around but she was already suctioned to his chest. Would she believe that though? He had already promised her that she was safe with him and look what happened. In the span of a couple weeks he had hit her, she killed a man, and now another man tried to molest her. Daryl felt the familiar taste of guilt in the back of his throat. He was a piece of shit. The worst thing that probably ever happened to this little girl was ending up with him. Despite those feelings and his overwhelming urge to turn and run he couldn't deny her the thing she wanted most right now which was comfort. With no one else to provide it he did something he rarely ever did. He put beating himself down on hold for the needs of another person. He had to know, though, he had to know what that animal did to her.

"Honey...did he ?" Christ he couldn't even form the words. Next to him Carl squirmed around clearly uncomfortable by their current situation. Through a thin line of trees Daryl saw what looked like a pond. Gesturing toward the boy he nodded. "Why don't you go check it out ?" Carl shot to his feet clearly relieved to be released. Daryl nodded solemnly, "Keep your gun out, ok?" Carl gave him an affirmative look before his eyes trailed to Sophia for a moment before looking back to the water.

Daryl readjusted himself on the log as he took a deep breath. Hesitantly he took his arm from around her and gently ran it through her hair. He had never been affectionate or comforting to anyone in his whole life so this was so new to him. All he knew was that he would have wanted someone to do this for him when he was a kid. Wanted wasn't the right word; he had ached for someone to be there for him like this.

_His Ma had only been dead a month. Their house was gone, not that it was anything to miss in the first place. His old man moved them into a trailer out in the woods. It was dark out and they were sitting in front of the TV. His old man sucked on a bottle of beer clearly intoxicated, buckets of chaw sat around his recliner. From the kitchen a woman appeared with no top on as Daryl quickly averted his gaze to the floor. She saw this, though, and laughed loudly._

' _Will...I think your son likes my tits.' His daddy didn't look up from the TV as he grunted waving her so that she would walk out of his line of sight._

' _Don't know what he likes. Think he's going to grow up to be a fag.' Daryl tightly clasped his cold, sweaty hands together in his lap. She came over and sat on the couch next to him._

' _We can fix that right now, you know.' Daryl felt his heart pound not sure what she was going to do next. He swallowed hard as he watched her hand find it's way to his crotch. Sharply he sucked in a breath as he pinched his eyes shut. He was afraid to move for fear that his daddy would beat him to death. Merle was in the wind somewhere; hadn't seen him in weeks and no idea when he would be coming back. So there was nobody left to protect him. She rubbed her hand back and forth as he remained paralyzed with fear. He was twelve; he knew how his body worked but he didn't really understand it. He squeezed his hands so tight they were white as he kept his stare straight ahead not blinking. At one point his daddy looked over and simply shrugged his shoulders._

_His body began to shake uncontrollably as tears came to his eyes. She took her hand away and he took that as his opportunity to run. Bolting from the trailer he ran until he couldn't run anymore, tree branches slapping his face. Collapsing he hugged his knees to his chest as he sobbed into his jeans._

_He didn't make it his business to tell Merle the things that happened when he wasn't around but this time he made an exception. When his brother turned up a week later Daryl still had the same stricken look on his face. It didn't take much prodding for that to come out. Merle, eighteen years old and fresh off two stints in juvie was a full grown man compared to Daryl. He beat the shit out of their old man and his girlfriend; she lost two teeth in the matter as Merle smashed her head off the counter so hard they skidded across the floor and under the stove._

_Nobody ever touched Daryl again like that, but he never forgot. The very, very few times he had had sex in his life he always felt so dirty afterwards. Like it was wrong._

"Daryl..." His eyes fluttered open from the memory as he heard Sophia's voice. She had stopped crying as her head rested on his shoulder. "He didn't do anything except feel under my shirt. My pants were down from going to the bathroom." Daryl felt a certain level of relief although feeling under a twelve year old girl's shirt was more than enough to pay for your admission to hell.

"Are you sure?" He swallowed hard; he had to know. She turned his head so that her lips were against his ear. She didn't need to whisper as Carl was a ways away but she did anyway.

"I know how it works." Daryl was sure that his heart stopped for a second. "My dad did a lot worse to me." He let the air in his lungs go as he narrowed his eyes. Carol was neither here nor there to him on the farm. He wanted to find Sophia for her but not because they were friends or anything like that. He remembered the way that she ran after Ed at the other camp even when he beat her. Always went back to him. Now this too. She had to know something was going on but she kept taking her daughter back. If they ever found her again he would remember that.

Carl reappeared as he chucked a finger over his shoulder. "It's a little pond." Carefully Daryl peeled Sophia off of him. Blood caked the front of both of them from the guy Daryl killed. She had enough to worry about without being covered in her attacker's blood. Standing up Daryl bounced her once before looking down at Carl with a smirk. He needed to press the reset button somehow as only one idea came to mind.

"Hey Sophia you like to swim?" She looked at him confused for a moment before he took off running toward the water with her in his arms.

"NO! NO! I can't swim." Daryl didn't stop as he jumped into the water with her still in his arms. She screamed loudly as they hit the cold water and went under. Daryl never loosened his grasp on her as they bobbed to the surface. Coughing a few times she looked down at the blood dissolving in the water between them. Carl, not wanting to be left out jumped in on his own accord. Coming to the surface he whooped loudly at the coldness.

"OH ! IT's COLD." Daryl and Sophia looked at him as he laughed. Daryl smiled back, a real genuine smile not a smirk like usual. In his arms Sophia shivered as her teeth chattered loudly. Turning back to her she smiled hesitantly up at him.

"Are we going to be OK ?" Her question was innocent enough but he knew there were untold layers behind it. He didn't want to make false promises to them but this one time he couldn't help it.

"We're going to be OK." He looked into her eyes and smiled a little. "I promise."

**TBC... Two more Chapters I think**


	12. Chapter 12

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** This story is AU and in it Sophia is never a walker. Takes place on the farm while Daryl is searching for the girl. My first attempt at Walking Dead fanfiction, hope you like it! Please review! I know it's been forever but I'm finishing it even though ten million things have happened on the show since. Thanks to those who stuck in and kept up with this one.

**Chapter 12**

' _And the one poor child who saved this world_

_And there's ten million more who probably could_

_If we all just stopped and said a prayer for them'_

**December**

Taking a long drag on his cigarette Daryl rocked the chair back putting his feet up on the deck railing. The backyard was dark as his eyes scanned all the way back to the wood's line. Blowing the smoke out he allowed his eyes to drift shut for a moment. He had failed. He promised them that they would find Rick, Lori, Carol and the others. He told them he would do everything he could and he did...he really did. But they ran out of time and before he knew it winter was here and they had no place to call their own. That might have been ok for a rough asshole like him; he was used to no heat, no water, and no home. But it wasn't ok for them.

Carl got sick a couple of weeks ago; first it was a cough then a fever. Daryl had never felt so helpless as he did watching that boy shivering next to the fire, the cold winter wind blowing through their camp. He knew if they didn't find something and find it fast he was going to die. Daryl carried the boy for miles and then just when he thought there was no more hope, when he thought that everything was lost; they stumbled out of the trees and there it was. A plan of new homes far back in the woods.

Daryl cleared one of the houses at the far end of the plan; Sophia was his lookout. Carl, in no condition to use his gun, gave it to Sophia as she stood on the front porch with it held straight out in shaky arms. When he knew it was safe he took them upstairs and locked them in the back bedroom with strict instructions to not open the door for anyone or anything. It took him almost a whole day of clearing and rummaging through houses before he found what he needed. Antibiotics, Tylenol, warm clothes that would actually fit the two of them. It was the first time he had been completely separated from the both of them since this whole thing began. It was terrifying for him to think about what would come next if something happened to him right now. If someone or something hurt him, took him, or worse. Pushing those thoughts from his mind he kept moving. That wasn't an option and it wasn't going to happen.

Staring out into the darkness Daryl watched as it began to snow. Pulling his collar up he shook his head remembering those first few days here. He made it back to them and Carl took the medicine and eventually everything went back to normal. Well...as normal as it could be nowadays. And after that the realization dawned on all three of them that it was over. They had run out of time and now if they wanted to live they would need to stay put for winter. Of course, that also meant that they would probably never see their folks again. They cried for weeks. Daryl, absolutely powerless to do anything, just sat and watched. They understood why but that didn't mean they weren't angry about it. Occasionally that anger would be directed at Daryl for not doing more to find them before winter came. He knew he had screwed up, knew he had failed them in almost every way that counted. He kept them alive but for what?

Standing up he stamped the cigarette out on the concrete. No use dwelling on it, wouldn't change shit that was for sure. Opening the back door he was quick to slip inside not letting too much of the cold air follow him. The house he picked was a smaller one; easier to heat, easier to keep watch. Lucky for them there was a wood burning fireplace in the basement. Slipping his coat off he descended the stairs, immediately feeling the welcome heat.

"I beat you !" In front of the fire Carl and Sophia bent over a well used Monopoly board as his eyes drifted to the two of them. Carl sat with his usual pout while Sophia gleefully counted her paper money. Although this entire situation was nothing but a pile of shit; it did give Daryl some satisfaction to know that this place gave them the opportunity to relax and just be kids. "Daryl want to play?"

Grunting he sat on the couch kicking his feet up on the coffee table. Sometimes he would play, most of the time he left them to it while tended to more mundane tasks; taking inventory of their supplies, checking the perimeter, or going up to the second floor to see what he could see. "No...you guys keep playing." Letting his eyes drift shut for a moment he wondered when he would need to make the next run. Their food supplies were starting to dwindle and while Georgia winters typically weren't that bad he didn't think that would be the case this year. Last thing he wanted was to be down to their last can of tuna come mid January.

"Hey you know what I think is coming up?" Daryl wasn't sure if Carl was talking to him or Sophia. Opening his eyes the boy looked at him expectantly.

"What Carl?"

"Christmas. I think it might be tomorrow or the day after." Daryl blinked a few times as he stared back. Truth be told he had forgotten all about holidays. They didn't mean much to him before and they sure as hell didn't mean anything now. If this had been last year or even six months ago he would have grunted and told them to piss off . But they had lost so much in the last year he couldn't take another thing from them even if he wanted to.

So despite himself and the fact that he didn't know the first thing about having a nice Christmas for two kids who definitely deserved it, he looked back at them and smiled.

"What do you guys wanted to do?" Sophia looked up, the Monopoly pieces falling out of her hand in sheer surprise. Her and Carl had talked about it earlier, between the two of them, and never did she imagine that Daryl would do anything but grunt and walk away.

"Oh can we put a tree up? Can we?" Sophia looked like she was about to burst with excitement. While clearing the house Daryl found a heap of old christmas stuff in the garage, including an artificial tree. Nodding he looked at Carl as the boy stared back in anticipation.

"What about presents? I know we can't go out like before but I'm sure theres something in here we can find." Kid like Carl probably got everything he wanted for Christmas and then some. But still even Daryl had to acknowledge that Christmas meant presents, and this house was full of useless shit they could wrap up.

"Presents sound good." Daryl had a couple of things in his pack for them anyway. Things he had found along the way and saved so that the next time something awful happened he could at least take their mind off it with a present.

"Are you serious ? We can really have Christmas tomorrow?" Sophia was now standing unable to contain her excitement. Daryl ducked his head before nodding. He didn't deserve to have these moments with them. This should be for their parents and he had done nothing so far to even consider himself close to that.

Without warning Sophia launched herself into Daryl wrapping her arms around his shoulders. The moment didn't last long enough for Daryl to get over himself and hug her back. Without another second wasted her and Carl took off toward the garage to drag the Christmas tree inside.

"Carl...you got your gun?" Pausing for a moment he stopped to look at Daryl.

"Always." Patting his waist band he turned to leave.

"Keep watch out there and check before you open that door." Daryl knew that both Carl and Sophia knew better than to just charge out the door without checking for walkers, but still he felt the need to say something. Sitting back he closed his eyes for a moment before pushing up to his feet grabbing the cross bow and shouldering it. Holding a flashlight steady Sophia and Carl emerged from the garage carrying a large box labeled 'tree'. Daryl nodded to the red and green plastic container they left behind.

"Want me to grab that?"

"Sure." They said in unison as he heard Sophia laughing about something as they giddily tore into the tree box.

Gingerly Daryl stepped over some overturned boxes of shit left behind. Bending over something caught his eye on the floor. Against the wall behind a work bench was a kid's compound bow. He had been looking all over for a bow for Carl, the gun was great but it was becoming impractical. Ever since they left Walmart he hadn't seen another opportunity for ammo as he imagined most places had been throughly cleaned out by now. Looking over his shoulder he heard them busy in the other room as he slid the bow out and looked at it carefully. It was in great shape, probably bought for some little asshole who decided to play video games instead. Pulling on the string Daryl was pleased when it showed no signs of give. Smiling a little he was happy that he found such an awesome present for Carl. Turning he slid it on top of one of the cabinets. Tomorrow he would come back out and get it. Leaning against the doorway, a smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth as he watched the two of them ripping through decorations.

_Daryl folded his legs under him as he stared at his mother in baited anticipation. She was having a good day today. She was out of bed, dressed, and her hair was combed. The cold winter wind rattled the windows of the old house as Daryl drew the blanket closer around his neck. He knew what day it was, kind of hard not to. Christmas Eve. While most kids waited expectantly for loads of presents, Daryl could only hope the holiday would bring a twenty four hour reprieve from his old man's continuous tirade. Normally Christmas passed in the Dixon household without much fanfare. His mother might get out of bed, his old man usually drank himself into oblivion, and if he was lucky Merle would show up and take him out to shoot squirrels in the woods. But not this year._

_They decorated a little tree together, Daryl didn't even know that they had a tree but lo and behold there it was. He didn't know how to do it. Lights and then tinsel or tinsel and lights ? And then the worn, faded thread balls, how many should go on the tree? He sat there on the floor watching her with rapt attention, trying to memorize everything about this moment. He has been alive for seven years but as far as he was concerned this was his first Christmas. He didn't care if nothing came after this because this was enough. Being here with her, decorating a tree; he was like every other kid for once. He belonged somewhere...and to someone...but more than all that he was safe._

_That night they sat in front of the tree, just the two of them. She read him The Night Before Christmas and they drank expired hot chocolate, the marshmallows hard as rocks. She cuddled him close under the blankets and he could smell her...he could still smell her if he thought real hard. Baby powder and shampoo. Delicate, fresh, comforting. The next day wasn't much but to Daryl it was everything. Somehow she managed to find him a couple of presents that she wrapped haphazardly in newspaper. A book, a new pair of socks, a deck of cards. Looking back years later he realized it was probably stuff she found laying around the house. That didn't matter, though. Someone had taken the time to not only give him something but also make it special...make it a surprise. Daryl fell asleep that night in her arms in front of their little Christmas tree listening to carols on the radio._

_The next morning when he woke she was back in the bedroom, shades drawn, with a black eye smoking a cigarette. His daddy passed out on the chair across from him and their little tree on the floor, the lights broken, the tinsel ripped, and those colored balls smashed into the floorboards. He never had another Christmas. December twenty fifth came every year, sure as shit, but it never meant anything. Just another day to get through._

"What do you think ?" Sophia's voice broke him out of his thoughts as he blinked a few times. The tree looked real good, considering. They even managed to find a string of battery operated lights that flickered on and off. Carl watched his gaze as he was quick to jump up.

"I know. We need to turn the lights off. Don't want nobody seeing it from outside...and the batteries we could use them for something else..." Daryl took a step forward as he leaned on the back of the couch.

"It's ok Carl. You can leave them on tonight." Both of them stared at Daryl in disbelief. This was an uncharacteristic departure that neither of them had expected. Survival was the only thing Daryl thought about, his entire existence devoted to staying alive but not actually living. Lifting one leg up he sat on the back of the couch as he stared at the tree. His eyes flicked closed for a moment as he smelled shampoo and baby powder, those rock hard marshmallows rolling around on his tongue. Opening his eyes he ducked his head before looking back up. "It's a real nice tree."

Sophia took a hesitant step toward Daryl looking both hopeful and fearful. "Can we go upstairs just for a couple minutes to look for presents. We won't put any lights on and we won't make a sound." Daryl nodded grabbing his crossbow as he followed them toward the stairs.

"Sure. I'll be right by the door keeping watch." Sophia and Carl didn't wait a second as they both dashed up the stairs in their socks. The rest of the house was cold compared to the basement. That wood burning fireplace had been their salvation. Without it and this house, Daryl wasn't sure what would have happened. Slipping his shoes on at the top of the stairs he turned before looking back at the glowing tree and crackling fire. It almost seemed normal. Turning his eyes toward the backyard he saw a lone walker ambling slowly across the grass Normal...right...what the hell was that anymore?

* * *

"Daryl...Daryl...wake up..." Sophia's soft voice broke through his dreamless sleep as he blinked a few times. Normally he would be bolt upright and racing for his crossbow but there was something about her tone that didn't alarm him at all. She sounded happy...excited even. Her face came into focus as he looked at the grin on her face and the light in her eyes. God, he wished she could look like this everyday. "You have to see it..."

Sitting up slowly he rolled his neck side to side. When he slept it was usually only for an hour or two at a time on the couch. Most times he didn't even bother to take his boots off. Carl was still asleep on the mattress that he and Sophia shared in front of the fireplace. The light of early morning illuminated the basement in a dim gray as Sophia pulled him but the forearm. Stepping up onto the bench below the window she pushed her nose against the glass making a ring of steam.

"Snow." Blinking against the whiteness Daryl's eyes roved the outside landscape. No walkers, no people, just a perfect blanket of white. He couldn't remember the last time there was a white Christmas in Georgia, couldn't remember the last time he would care either. Next to him Sophia trembled with excitement or chill or maybe both. Shrugging his flannel shirt off he wrapped it around her shoulders, leaning in next to her he pressed his lips against her hair as he whispered in her ear.

"Merry Christmas." Hugging his shirt around her, her lips spread into a wide smile. Daryl couldn't help but smile himself as they stood there gazing out at a world that for just a moment seemed perfect.

"Holy Shit ! It's Christmas morning !" Carl was wide awake as he threw the blankets off of himself. Daryl turned toward him and smirked.

"Watch that mouth, Carl." Rolling his eyes, Carl didn't seem to see the need in manners anymore. Shaking his head Daryl flipped his wrist toward the tree. "Still time for Santa to pass this place up...take your shit someplace else.."

Carl snorted in amusement. Like that was going to happen. Getting out of bed he turned and threw another log on the fire. "I don't believe in Santa." He turned to Daryl looking quite pompous for a twelve year old kid. "Haven't for years." Daryl rolled his eyes, somehow he didn't believe that.

"Can we open presents now?" Sophia jumped down off the bench and hopped over to where Carl sat by the fire. Daryl nodded as he slipped his shoes and coat on.

"Sure. Just gonna check the house and bring some more firewood in..." Daryl heard them laughing as he ascended the stairs slowly. He didn't know what they found for each other but he did take note of a few things under the tree wrapped sloppily in towels, blankets or whatever else they could find. The upstairs was cold as he quietly shut the basement door behind him. His eyes scanned the backyard; the peacefulness of it all was almost unsettling as he stepped out onto the back porch.

It had been years and years since a winter like this had hit Georgia. Seemed like the earth was trying to cleanse itself and start over. Sliding a cigarette out of his pocket he put it between his teeth as he popped the collar of his jacket higher. He knew there wasn't really a chance in hell they would find the others now. Not after this. Rick didn't find a place to hunker down and ride out the winter; he was as good as dead. Might still be good as dead. They had gotten lucky finding this place but that didn't meant they couldn't lose it. There was nothing in the world that belonged to you anymore. Not things, not places, and not even people. Just because you had it today didn't mean it would be yours tomorrow.

Taking a few puffs Daryl threw the cigarette into the snow as he hefted an armful of logs off the ground. Before he stepped inside the house he took one last look around. Nothing. Not even a walker. Locking the door behind him he didn't bother slipping his coat or shoes off until he was in the warmth of the basement. Carl had managed to find an old Yahtzee set somewhere in the house as he and Sophia jangled the dice in the metal container. Daryl had to smirk; great game for trying to stay quiet. He would let them play for a while before he inevitably had to ruin their fun. Walking past them he threw a couple of logs on the fire as he walked toward the garage. He wasn't sure how Carl would react to the bow. It would be something that would take skill and practice. Taking it down off the cabinet Daryl wiped the dust off. Best he could do given the circumstances.

Standing in the doorway he watched them for a moment before walking closer. "Hey Carl..." The boy dripped the can of dice as he shot to this feet.

"Is that for me?" Daryl nodded. Carl looked excited and he was relieved for that but this was no toy.

"Yep." Running over Carl stood in front of Daryl eyeing the weapon with baited breath. "But listen, just like your gun it's no toy. Need to be careful...and need to practice with it, get good before you try to use it on a walker." Daryl paused handing the bow to Carl as the boy stared at it reverently. "Carl...I'm serious. You're going to need to really work on this..."

Looking up at Daryl he was confused, "You'll teach me, though." Daryl nodded. Of course he would. "Then I know I'll be the best." He didn't know how to respond to that so he just ducked his head and stared at his feet. Could Daryl make him the best? Of course he could, but it wasn't that. It was Carl's blind faith in him that left him speechless. Bounding over Sophia looked at the bow and then back to Carl.

"Wow, Carl...that's so cool." Leaning over Daryl pulled something out of his pack and handed it to her.

"Didn't wrap it or nothin. Hope you like it." Holding the hunting knife up she inspected it carefully before affixing it onto her belt. Six month ago she would have been horrified at such a gift. Daryl remembered that doll she was holding when this whole mess started back at the highway. She had changed though, ever since that night in the camp with Merle and that asshole against the tree. Everyone changed...you had no choice if you wanted to live. Looking at the knife hanging from her belt she looked back up at Daryl.

"I want to be able to take care of myself. Will you show me?" She stared at him with purpose. Daryl nodded. Of course he would show her; he would show her everything she wanted to know. She didn't even need to ask.

* * *

Darkness had begun to fall as Daryl leaned his head back against the couch kicking his feet up on the coffee table. There were board games all over the floor and the place looked a mess but that was ok because it was Christmas. After the initial excitement of the day worn off, they both passed out and he had a few hours to go out and hunt up a couple rabbits for dinner. His eyelids slipped down as he stared at the fire crackling in the hearth. On one side of him Carl thumbed through a comic book that Sophia found under the bed upstairs. On the other side Sophia leaned against his side reading the Nancy Drew that Daryl had found upstairs in the attic. They were content, at least for the moment, and in this world that was better than he could hope. A warm house, a full belly, and happy with a life none of them asked for.

"Hey Sophia...I think we forgot something." Carl pushed himself up off the couch as Sophia watched him move behind the tree suddenly jumping up herself.

"I can't believe we forgot." Daryl looked at them confused as to what this was all about. Hesitantly Carl produced something wrapped in a dish towel. Coming back to sit on either side of them they stared at him in nervous anticipation.

Grunting, Daryl's eyes darted between the two as Carl hesitantly held it out. "It isn't much but it was all we could find for you."

Daryl shook his head unsure how to handle this. "Didn't have to get me anything...told you guys that..."

Reaching out Sophia put her hand on Daryl's. "It's Christmas, though." Daryl looked at her for a moment before rubbing his fingers over hers. All the shit that kid had been through and she still believed in the magic of Christmas. Carefully Carl placed the gift in Daryl's lap. Exhaling loudly, Daryl took the object and began to unwrap it. He already knew it was a ceramic mug just by how it felt. Letting the dish towel fall away his breath hitched as he read the inscription on the side.

' _World's Greatest Dad'_. Running his rough finger over the words he didn't know what to feel. Carl was first to speak as he scooted a little closer to Daryl. "We want you to know that we're ok...that we know we won't see our families again. That we're happy just being with you."

Sophia looked at him although he couldn't look back. "We're happy being with you forever." Daryl set the cup down and stood up as he felt tears come to his eyes. Blinking a few times he went over to the basement window and leaned his face against the cool glass. His shoulders rose and fell as he took a few deep breaths. He didn't know how to process emotions, never learned...never had anyone to show him. So most of the time he tried not to feel anything. He had found long ago it was just easier that way. And that worked for him in the old world; because really his life didn't mean much then. He was just existing so it was easy to feel nothing. But in this world, it was impossible to feel nothing. Life and death every day, people depending on him; he was a human being and for the first time he actually felt like it. Swiping at his face with the worn, blue flannel shirt Daryl opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

"Daryl..." Sophia's hesitant voice began. "We're really sorry if you don't like it." Don't like it? Holy shit how do you say that you love it? That it means more to you than anything you've ever been given in your whole life. That you'll keep it forever. Turning around Daryl shook his head as he looked away. Turning slowly he came to sit on the coffee table facing them both, the crackling fire warming his back. Rubbing his knuckles he swallowed hard; words were never something he was good with.

"Nah...I um..." Sophia sat back against the couch pulling her legs to her chest. Letting a whoosh of air from his lungs he finally met their eyes. "Nobody...nobody ever cared about me before. Whether I was around or not..." He had no idea where he was going with this. Chewing on his bottom lip his voice wavered with emotion. "It means a lot that you both want to be with me. That I'm good enough..." He trailed off not trusting himself to say anything else.

Carl chewed on his bottom lip before finally speaking, "I had a good dad. I was lucky and I know that." He stopped talking for a moment. "But I would have been just as lucky if you were my dad." Daryl jerked his head up to be met with a face full of sincerity. "I mean it. In this world or the old one...I would have been lucky." Daryl could do nothing as the back of his throat suddenly felt tight. Sliding her knees down, Sophia move forward crossing her legs in front of her. Tenatively she reached out and put her hand over Daryl's as he took her fingers in his and squeezed.

"I would have done anything for a dad like you." While her words made him feel good, he also knew what kind of father she did have. Looking at the ceiling her eyes met his as he saw tears in them. "I never felt safe in my whole life until the day you found me." Daryl closed his eyes as he looked away. He wanted to get up and run away so that he could break down without them seeing it but Sophia was holding onto his hand so tight he couldn't let go. A tear rolled down his cheek as he struggled to contain the sob that caught in his throat.

Carl and Sophia exchanged a glance before standing up and wrapping their arms around him. Daryl shifted so that he could wrap them both up against his chest. Somehow..someway he had done it. They were happy with him. Despite the crying, the anger, the hurt, the fear...somehow he had earned their trust. He wasn't his father...not even close.

"We're going to be ok...somehow we're going to be ok."

* * *

**June**

He wasn't sure what he saw moving in the woods. So he stopped the car, got out and started walking. Bringing the rifle up he held it out in front as he moved quietly. He saw a flash of white, he was sure of it.

"Drop the rifle." From around a tree five feet behind him a man stepped out holding a crossbow. He was lean and muscular. His hair was long and hung in his eyes as sweat beaded up on his brow. He wasn't messing around; his finger was already on the trigger.

"Let's talk about this..." He didn't drop the rifle but instead swung around so that he was now pointing it at the crossbow wielding stranger. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the bushes on either side of him move as two more people appeared, kids by his judgment although he couldn't see them clearly. Letting the gun drop he looked side to side. A young girl with long blonde hair pulled tight on her head in a bun and a boy about the same age with a sheriff's hat. The girl had a knife in one hand and a gun in the other, while the boy pointed a fully cocked bow at his head. Shit... who were these people? "OK...ok." Placing the gun on the ground he stepped back slowly raising his hands.

"Where's your people?" The crossbow bobbed up and down as the surly stranger behind it took a step toward him.

"Where's yours?" The boy with the bow stepped in closer now.

"You're looking at it. Been on the run for almost a year now."

He lowered his hands then and looked at Daryl in amazement. "You been on the run with two kids for almost a year?" Lowering the crossbow Daryl nodded before giving Carl and Sophia the sign to relax.

"Yeah. Lost our group last year this time. Ain't seen a single one of them since."

The man extended his hand toward Daryl to shake. "I'm Tyrese. Me and my sister were on a supply run when we saw something in the woods." Looking at Carl and Sophia his eyes came back to Daryl. "These your kids?"

"Yeah.." The girl answered this time. "Both of us." Looking between them and then back to Daryl he wondered if that was a lie.

"If you two kids don't want to be with him anymore...it's ok. You can come with me. We have a place a safe place..."

Sophia looked at him as if he were crazy as Carl brought his bow back up. "Hey dipshit..." Daryl smirked at that as Tyrese turned toward him in shock. "He's our dad. We want to be with him." Taking a step closer Carl looked Tyrese in the eye. "We would die for him and he would die for us. And that's all your ass needs to know." Carl shot Daryl a look and smirked as Daryl shook his head.

"Ok...ok." Bending over Tyrese picked his rife up before walking past Daryl back toward the road. "If you change your mind...we have a safe place. A community; women, children, men who can fight." Looking back at Carl and Sophia he met Daryl's eyes as he nodded a serious tone in his features. "The world's becoming more and more dangerous everyday...and I'm not talking about the dead...We're in a prison about five miles up the road." Tyrese turned and looked at them all once more. "Think about it."

Daryl watched him go. _Think about it..._

_**TBC...one more chapter to go !** _


	13. Chapter 13

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** This story is AU and in it Sophia is never a walker. Takes place on the farm while Daryl is searching for the girl. My first attempt at Walking Dead fanfiction, hope you like it! Please review! I know it's been forever but I'm finishing it even though ten million things have happened on the show since.

**Chapter Thirteen**

Sweat beaded up on her brow as she worked her small hands into the red clay soil. They all had jobs to do once camp was made for the night and this was hers. She was good at it too. Sophia kept the fires low, always, never knowing who or what was out there watching. Supplying the meager flame with dry kindling she glanced up at Carl sitting across from her skinning a rabbit. Daryl was out walking the perimeter, checking for threats and setting snares. Not a word had been exchanged between the three of them since their run in with Tyrese.

While nothing about him made Sophia feel afraid; she could not believe what he said was actually true. The idea of a safe place, a community, where everyone worked together and no one tried to hurt each other seemed just as much a fantasy as the old world. It couldn't be true. They had been on the road for a year, no place to call home, no group to watch their back. They ran into their share of other people but only a few of them were good. People, Daryl told them as he leaned over the fire one night the flames dancing across his face, were far more dangerous than any walker. And Sophia believed that like it was the word of God. The only people she trusted were Carl and Daryl. She trusted them both implicitly; more than she ever trusted her own mother or father. Aside from them , she wasn't sure there were any good people left in this world.

Daryl circled back toward the kids on his way to check the south end of their encampment. Kids…that was a strange way to describe his two young comrades. Daryl treated them as his equals and whatever they did all three of them decided to do it together, just the way it was. Through the bushes he could see the whisper of smoke; Sophia was a smart girl, always kept the fires low. He wishes he could have taken credit for that but she had always been a smart girl and someway she would have figured that out for herself. He just made it a little easier for her.

Carl stood for a moment as he looked over the greenery in Daryl's direction. The two of them made eye contact and a nod was exchanged before the boy knelt back to finish his work. The three of them had an almost hidden language they shared and often times few words needed exchanged. It was a far cry from where they began; the two of them talking incessantly and getting on Daryl's last nerve. The change was needed though, not for Daryl's sanity, but because each day they lived the world became a more dangerous place.

Daryl tightened his grip on the crossbow as his eyes scanned the trees in front of him. He looked alert and ready but his mind was a million miles away. The guy they met today, Tyrese, he seemed alright. Not crazy enough to pull the trigger but not dumb enough to keep his finger off of it. He looked strong and well fed and clean to Daryl which were all clues that his tale of a prison and a community might actually be true. His first inclination, of course, was not to believe it. They had encountered their fair share of bad people over the last year and more often than not he found himself wondering if there was anyone good left out there anymore. But Daryl knew that wasn't true; despite the shit they had been through he knew…. He really knew deep down in his bones that some of the good ones were still alive.

Merle….yeah he was a shit head and a fuck up….but he was blood and no matter what other shit heads Merle had undoubtedly fallen in with he would always look out for his little brother. Julie…Daryl had left her more than enough rounds to blow her brains out like he was sure she wanted to but for some reason he knew she was still alive. And Rick…while all signs pointed to the obvious conclusion that Rick was dead or gone Daryl could never believe that. Rick was smart, and tough, and he would always find a way to survive.

Kneeling down Daryl ran his fingers over the trail of a deer. The earth was dry and hard; the animal long gone. Breathing out slowly Daryl closed his eyes for a moment trying to ground himself amid the tornado that was his mind. They had to go; they had to see if it was true. Carl and Sophia had come a long way in the last year, but still the road was no place for them. The longer this shit went on the worse people got. He could keep them safe, that he knew, but if anything ever happened to him he knew all too well what they would have to face. The only way to keep that from happening was to find other people; good people.

Standing up Daryl walked slowly back toward camp. He didn't feel any better about the situation but he was more certain that this was a chance they needed to take.

* * *

Sitting back on his heels Rick stared at the garden in front of him. It was doing well, not great but good enough to feed their people. Looking up over the plants he stared at the courtyard where members of the community he created milled about. He should be happy…elated even….he had done what he had set out to do. He built a community, a place where good people could make a life for another. But it wasn't enough, not for him at least. He had all this, a mountain of wealth by apocalyptic standards, he was giving these people a safe community and a life. But the irony of it was, that all of this was for two people, and now they were gone. Lori and Carl. Eyes wandering down to baby Judith strapped to his chest he struggled to keep himself together. If it wasn't for her…wasn't for a child that most likely belonged to another man….he would have taken a long walk in the woods and never came back. But here he was, still trying to live another day.

It wasn't only Judith though…there was something more that kept Rick getting out of bed each miserable day. When Carl was born he became a living, breathing extension of Rick. He couldn't explain it but no matter where his son was or what he was doing Rick had a sense of the boy deep inside him. Like the ocean he could intrinsically feel when all was calm or when a storm was brewing inside his son. Almost a year had passed since he last saw Carl alive and despite all logic he still felt the boy inside of him. That sense…that awareness had never died, never even dulled. Carl was still alive somewhere; he would never say that out loud for fear it might turn karma against him but he could feel it and until someone proved otherwise he would still keep looking for his boy.

"Rick…" Looking up from the tomato plant he was surprised to see Tyrese standing in front of him. Shaking his head he stood up; he was getting too comfortable behind these walls.

"Sorry…I…uh was just thinking." Tyrese was new to the group and didn't know much about Rick's past. Just that he lost a wife and son; the core Atlanta group or what was left of them didn't speak of their past to newcomers and he could appreciate that. Everyone here had lost someone and done things they weren't proud of. Tyrese was happy to have a community but there were limits and everyone respected that. Not wanting to pry or become awkward standing there Tyrese immediately took on a business like tone.

"The run went well…found a few grocery stores that hadn't been completely emptied." Rick snapped out of his daze and nodded forcing his mind from the dark places where it so often lingered. Tyrese paused wondering if it was worth mentioning the man and his kids. He knew anyone could be a threat, kids included. For some reason, though, the people he met in the woods didn't strike him as that. They were tough and smart and his gut told him they could be an asset to the prison community. "I….I also ran into some people." Rick raised his eyebrow; there were fewer and fewer good people left in the world. Tyrese looked down choosing his words carefully. "A man and his two kids. They were tough…smart..been surviving out there for almost a year now. Said they lost their people a while back." Rick felt his heart pound in his chest. It couldn't be….

Shaking his head he looked down trying to get his emotions under control before continuing on. "You said a man and two kids…."

Tyrese noted a hitch in Rick's voice. Slowly he nodded, "Yeah…I asked if he was really their dad or if it was something else." Shrugging his shoulders he looked off toward the gates. "They were insistent, both kids, he was their dad. The three of them seemed real close; the way he looked at them…like he really loved them." Tyrese shook his head far off in thought. "Haven't seen a whole lot of that out there lately."

Rick couldn't hide his disappointment. While he had no doubt that Daryl would keep his son alive he also couldn't imagine the man forming a bond like that. He was a good person; Rick had known that for some time but he wasn't someone that let anybody in. Nodding ruefully he forced a smile; at least some father out there still had his son. "Sounds good Tyrese, I'll get Carol to inventory the supplies."

Tyrese nodding taking a few steps back. "I…ah…I told the guy and the kids they were welcome to come here for shelter if they needed it. They were good people but I know you'll make the final call…if they show up."

Rick didn't mind taking in new people….but he wasn't about to take in just anyone. "As long as they're good people, they will be welcome here." Tyrese had shown up at his gates not long ago with his sister, Sasha, and Michonne not long before that. They had all become assets to the community. Bending back over to the tomato plants Rick's gaze wandered toward the prison gates…if they showed up.

* * *

It was nearly dark as the early summer sky faded to pink and orange. Despite the time of day, however, it was still hot and sticky with humidity. Daryl knelt down behind the tree as he gazed out across the train tracks. Over his shoulder he felt Carl leaning forward to see what he saw; the boy shifting silently. A smirk came to Daryl's face, he taught him that. Turning his attention back toward the prison, Daryl surveyed the fences which all appeared to be intact. Just beyond that was a large grassy swath of land devoid of walkers, strange seeing something like that nowadays. A garden, livestock, an outdoor common area…and people. In the waning light Daryl squinted barely able to see a few people milling about in the upper yard.

Squeezing his eyes shut for a half second he felt his heart leap in his chest. It wasn't a lie; the man in the woods was telling the truth. Opening his eyes again he stared at the formidable structure; they could be a bunch of psychos. Cannibals…freaks….who knew; by now even the good people had lost their way. Taking a deep breath he said a silent prayer that this would work. Daryl Dixon a praying man…he never prayed a day in his life and he never asked for anything for himself. But those two kids….they needed all the help they could get and if it took praying to give them a life, praying is what he would do.

Turning around he stood up for a moment as he gave a low whistle. From the bushes Sophia appeared, gun at her side and knife still tightly in her hand. Her steps were soft and deliberate, like Carl she didn't make a sound as she moved. Dropping down to his knee Daryl adjusted the crossbow on his back as he looked at them both seriously. "Looks like a decent place…" Carl huffed a little as his eyes widened looking toward the prison and then back at Daryl.

"What if they try to separate us?" Daryl looked down before meeting the boy's eyes.

"That's not going to happen. I won't let it happen." Carl opened his mouth to protest before shutting it, if Daryl said he was going to do something he did it. "No matter what happens we stick together. You see anything….hear anything….anything you don't like we're out of there. Survived on our own this long….can do it again if we have to."

Sophia stared at him, her arms crossed over her chest and indignant as shit for a thirteen year old girl. "So why can't we just keep doing that ? Just the three of us…" Daryl looked at her, it was a good question and while part of him wished for just that, the rational side of him knew it was a bad idea.

Looking up at Sophia he managed a sad smile. "Honey…I would love that but if something happened to me and you were alone out there…"

"Nothing's ever going to happen to you. You'll be the last man standing, Daryl Dixon." He stared at her for a moment not having nearly as much faith in his own mortality.

He swallowed hard about to make a promise he knew he would never keep. Ducking his head he met her eyes briefly. "We'll always be together…I promise."

Sophia's lips drew into a thin line before she nodded her head solemnly. She wasn't dumb, she knew it was lie; but she also knew that no matter how tough or smart or strong willed Daryl was, he was still just a man. He couldn't perform miracles although by apocalyptic standards he came pretty damn close.

Both of them stared at him for a moment before nodding. Standing back up Daryl brushed his pants off as he threw a look over his shoulder at the prison. They had to try. Clearing his throat he looked at them both seriously. "Now remember, no matter who's asking we're family."

They both looked at him strangely. "We are family though." Daryl stared at Carl as Sophia chimed in. "You're our dad."

Daryl looked down before nodding. "I know but…."

Carl cut him off taking a step toward him, "No buts….you're our dad." Even after everything they had been through together Daryl still wasn't sure he deserved that title, nonetheless it made a warmth bloom inside his chest. Tipping his head slightly his eyes fell on the prison as the three of them began their journey into what they all hoped would not be a mistake.

* * *

_Daryl jumped in bed as he heard the door slam. The curtains in his room sucked in against the screen before blowing forcefully back. It smelled like rain. Hugging the pillow closer to his chest, he prayed that the old man would just go to bed tonight. Drawing his knees up, Daryl didn't even have a blanket to hide under as his old man snatched it off the bed in a fit of rage last night. Underneath of him the mattress was bare as he peed the sheets in sheer terror of his own father. His mama put some newspapers down today, cigarette hanging out of her mouth with a blank stare and her right eye swollen half shut. He stood there watching her not saying a word as she shuffled back to her own bedroom and shut the door._

_The stairs creaked as he heard heavy footfalls coming closer. Daryl squeezed his eyes shut and prayed that he would just keep going. He could hear the TV on his in his mother's bedroom; he saw her taking painkillers earlier in the evening so most likely she was passed out cold. Dread settled in Daryl's seven year old chest as he realized it was just him and his old man. The door to his bedroom slammed open as a dim light from the hallway poured in. Daryl squeezed his eyes shut, his heart beating so fast his entire body was shaking._

_"_ _There he is….little pussy." Then a laugh, high and like a rat, a sound to make your skin crawl. Sheer terror forced Daryl to crack one eye as he saw his old man and another person he didn't recognize. The other man was short and skinny, greasy hair framed in the meager lighting._

_That laugh again and then a statement that would haunt Daryl for the rest of his life, "I get to do whatever I want with him…."_

_Will Dixon's chest rumbled as Daryl could feel the snicker on his face. "Long as I get all the blow I want…yeah you sure can."_

_Before he could think Daryl felt the pee running down his leg. His heart hammered in his chest as his tiny body began to shake uncontrollably. Tears beaded up in his eyes as he sniffled. There was nothing he could do….nothing. His mother was unconscious and even if she wasn't she wouldn't get in his old man's way._

_The light in the doorway changed as he realized his old man was gone leaving the other man standing there, a sick grin on his face. Daryl's fingers curled around the pillow as is knuckles turned white._

_A flash of white lightning illuminated the room as the man took a step toward Daryl. Pinching his eyes shut he just hoped whatever was going to happen next didn't hurt too much._

_A clap of thunder and then another bang. Fast, harried footfalls on the stairs as Daryl's heart clenched, my God there was another one coming to join in._

_"_ _WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?… YOU DIRTY BASTARD?!" Merle. It was Merle…he was saved. His brother reached the top of the stairs a disgusted laugh escaping his throat as he took two steps into Daryl's room. "I heard it but I really did not believe it…" Winding up he punched the greasy haired man as hard as he could. Stunned, the man fell backwards onto Daryl's bed causing the young boy to jump up. "What happen, Joe? Your old lady stop sucking your pitiful little cock….looking at little boys now." Merle grabbed the blithering Joe by the belt and forcefully drug him out into the hallway. Daryl took a few hesitant steps toward the doorway the dirty pillow still clutched uselessly in his arms. While he was practically the definition of malnourished, Merle was big and strong. Eighteen years old now and fresh off another stint in juvie, nobody fucked with his big brother. Joe was on his hands and knees trying to get up as Merle came up behind and kicked him as hard as he could right in ass. The older man went head over heels down the stairs, a painful moan at the bottom. "Dirty piece of shit…" Merle turned back to look at Daryl taking in the boy's wet pajamas and tear stained face. "He didn't touch you….did he little brother?"_

_Daryl opened his mouth but nothing came out. Shaking his head side to side he ducked his eyes so that he was staring at the floor. Merle reached out putting a hand on his shoulder. At the end of the hallway the bedroom door slammed open as Will appeared half cocked and ready to let loose._

_"_ _Who the hell do you think you are, boy?" Daryl let out an involuntary whimper as Merle was quick to step in front of him._

_Putting his fists up the younger Dixon squared off as the old man came booming down the hallway. "Come on Old Man….come get a piece of this…" Merle shifted his gaze for only a moment back toward Daryl. "You stay behind me…always stay behind me.."_

"Stay behind me…" Daryl's head throbbed as he came back to the conscious world. A woman with long black dreads looked up from the cut on her leg. The katana sat across her lap as she stared at the scruffy haired stranger. Just beyond him in one of the cells sat two kids, a blonde haired girl and a brown haired boy. Both stared back at her; their faces blank. But Michonne had been out here long enough to see the abject fear in their eyes. They both said he was their dad, nothing more. He was definitely something to them.

Eyes wandered back to Daryl as he mumbled it again, "Stay behind me…" It the was the last thing he said before she clubbed him over the head with that tree branch. She was going to just kill him cut his head clean off with her katana the way she did countless other menacing looking strangers in the past. But then she saw them…two kids and she couldn't do it. Immediately after she knocked him unconscious she wished she had done it as the young boy quickly stepped up slashing the knife across her thigh. Her gaze drifted over to his unflinching ice blue eyes behind bars. Good place for the little shit.

Daryl forced one eye open and then the other as he realized his hands were tied behind his back and his feet bound to the legs of the chair. He struggled involuntarily, nobody could ever tie a Dixon down and expect them to take it. His chest heaved with anxiety as he struggled to remember what happened. Carl…Sophia…where were they ? Turning his head sharply to the right he saw a strange woman with dreads and a sword.

"Where are they…" She didn't speak, only nodded her head in the opposite direction as Daryl turned and with much relief laid eyes on Carl and Sophia sitting behind bars. The two kids smiled at him as Daryl's voice came out much higher and emotional than he meant. "You guys ok?Did she hurt you?"

Carl nodded solemnly. "We're fine, dad. She didn't hurt us. Used my knife just like you showed me." If he weren't tied to a chair right now, captured, and physically separated from Carl and Sophia Daryl might have cracked a smile. Instead he acknowledged Carl with a slight duck of the head.

"Good boy…". Michonne wondered if the two kids were actually his or if they had just fallen in with him or something worse. "Look…we don't want no trouble. Just looking for a safe place to rest our head for a few days…only passing through." Daryl tried to sound as diplomatic as possible. He didn't care if the people here let them stay; the only thing he cared about right now was being untied.

Daryl was staring at her when he heard the metal door of the cellblock clang open. Both of their eyes drifted toward the approaching figure.

"What the hell is all this…?" When he stepped into the light Daryl let a deep breath escape his lungs. It was the guy from the woods…Tyrese if he remembered correctly. There was a flicker of recognition in his face before he cast a glance at Carl and Sophia and it was clear he remembered. "I met them in the woods a few days ago…told them it would be safe here."

Michonne eyed Tyrese before turned back to her katana. "Found them sneaking around the fences…thought maybe they were with Him."

Daryl didn't miss the way her tone changed. A certain bittiness hung on the final syllable. Tyrese let out a drawn breath before kneeling down and untying Daryl's legs. "You need to let that shit go already." No way someone didn't want a piece of a place secure as this, Daryl knew that the minute he laid eyes on those fences. Their tense exchange only confirmed the obvious. Casting a glance toward Sophia and Carl he managed a small smile as they stared back at him unflinching, their hands wrapped around the bars. "Have you told the others?"

Daryl felt his heart skip a few times, the reality that they were grossly outnumbered should this all go to shit hitting him squarely in the nose. It was a community, Tyrese told them that in the woods and he could see that from a mile away but he didn't expect a welcome like this. Maybe these people really were savages

Michonne didn't raise her eyes as she replied simply. "Seems like a bad day over there. Don't think he's been out of bed at all today." Tyrese went to kneel behind Daryl and release his hands as he paused for a moment nodding at Michonne.

"The old man will take care of it…always does." Daryl's eyes went from Michonne back to the floor. Trying to read between the lines, his brain worked overtime trying to get a lay of the land. Tyrese walked around in front of him nodding toward the kids. "You will be safe here tonight. In the morning we'll get you set up with new clothes, food…meet the others." Daryl stood up rolling his shoulders out. He nodded at Tyrese while casting a sidelong glance at Michonne.

"Where's our weapons?" Tyrese stopped for a moment as Michonne was quick to protest.

"No way in hell." Daryl bristled but he knew he had to play it smart. It wasn't just him, it was all three of them.

"Give the man his crossbow." Michonne was quick on her feet to Tyrese's side. Meeting Daryl's stare he raised his hand to her. "The man has a right to protect his children. We won't take that from him." She huffed angrily; although a quick trip to the end of the cell block produced the Horton completely intact.

"What about my gun?" From the cell, Carl's voice broke the tense exchange. Tyrese acknowledged him briefly before looking back to Daryl.

"The crossbow is enough for now." Daryl nodded, he was grateful for this much.

"Bullshit !" Michonne looked at the cells incredulously before looking back at Daryl.

"Carl….watch that mouth." Pushing back off the bars, Carl disappeared into the cell huffing his disapproval. Turning back toward Tyrese Daryl nodded his thanks. "Thanks. We won't be no trouble."

"Will you need one cell or two ? Can get kind of cramped at…." Before he could finished Daryl cut him off curtly.

"One is plenty." No way was he putting cinder block and iron between himself and them. Tyrese seemed like a decent guy but what else was here he wasn't so sure.

Michonne opened the cell door as Daryl stepped in. Looking at her seriously his eyes drifted to the latch. "Please don't lock it. Something happens…we'll be trapped."

Michonne met his eyes; he was right. "Fine." Without another word she turned on her heel and left. Tyrese nodded as he flicked the overhead lights off.

"Goodnight."

He stood there at the cell door staring out into the darkness until he heard their footsteps disappear into another part of the building. Part of him was waiting for something…what he didn't know. Their world was full of unpleasant surprises now and no matter how good something seemed he couldn't shake the feeling. Exhaling he let his shoulders drop as he turned around.

In the dark he heard scuffling footsteps as he felt someone throw themselves against him. Letting the crossbow slip out of his hands he wrapped a arm around Sophia. "It's ok. We're all together and we're ok." He felt her sniffle against his chest as he tightened his arm around her. Last year she was a little girl but a year on the road had changed a lot. She had become brave and resourceful and independent. She knew when to act tough and when to actually be tough. But she was still a little girl in so many ways and when the fight was over she often times broke down in Daryl's arms. She felt safer with him than she had ever felt with anyone else; before and after the turn.

"I thought when she came out…I thought that was…" Carl's voice cracked with emotion as he trailed off. In the dark Daryl lifted his other arm reaching Carl and pulling the boy into him. Slapping him on the back a few times, Daryl reassured him that that he was still here; they were all still here. Over the months and days spent together Daryl had learned, just like any parent, what each kid needed from him. Sophia needed to be held close and gently reassured, she needed safety and she needed someone she could always trust. Carl, on the other hand, needed room to assert himself, room to develop and learn and grow. But Daryl had learned early on, the boy also needed a safe harbor always within sight, a place to run and shelter in a storm.

"Its ok, Carl. You did good. Slashed her real good with yer blade." Carl exhaled as he left himself relax against Daryl's strong chest. "Tomorrow we'll see what the rest of them are like. Something don't seem right…we're out of here." They both nodded as Daryl moved toward the bottom bunk. Sitting down he tested the mattress; they had most certainly had worse than this. "You guys can take the top bunk. Keep your shoes on…ready to run if we gotta."

It was dark but he could tell they weren't moving. "What?"

"We don't want to be alone." Sophia's small voice broke the tension. Daryl looked down although they couldn't see his eyes. Even after all this time and everything they had been through; he still couldn't help but feel overcome by their never-ending desire to be close to him. To be held and comforted and….and he didn't know what. Physical reassurance and affection was such a non existent part of his life before he sometimes didn't know how to handle it all now. Still he made a promise to himself long ago that he would be better for them, do better for them. They were kids growing up in world that terrified grown men.

Laying back on the bed Daryl's voice was quiet, "Come on then." Sophia crawled overtop of him laying against the wall as Carl laid down on the edge. It was a twin bed, barely big enough for one person let alone three but some how they didn't seem to mind. Sophia cuddled herself against Daryl her head resting on his chest as he almost instinctually wrapped his arm around her narrow shoulders. Carl laid his head back on Daryl's arm as he pressed his back tightly against him, his breathing still ragged Daryl lifted a hand and ruffled the boy's hair. Carl, he found, could be very anxious as he tried so hard to keep everything he felt constantly at bay.

"We've slept in scarier places than this…" Daryl shifted a little to get comfortable. "We'll be ok…I promise." He hated making promises he couldn't keep but sometimes he had to.

Next to him Sophia lifted her head, "You promise we'll always be together." Now that was a promise he knew he couldn't keep but for now he would make it. His eyes traveled to her young face in the dark knowing that one day, God willing, they would both grow up and not need him anymore. Fact was that day was coming faster than he thought, they could survive without him right now, although the thought of it made him sick.

His voice was barely above a gravelly, rough whisper, "Yeah, I told you earlier. We'll always be together. I promise."

* * *

Harsh white light streamed through the narrow barred windows as Daryl blinked his eyes. He hadn't slept that long in quite a while. Both of his arms were numb as two little bodies remained firmly attached to his sides. Pushing himself up, he scooted to the end of the bunk and rolled his shoulders a few times. Somewhere else in the building he heard voices although they were distant and far away. This place, if it was really what they said it was, could be the answer to so many of his problems. All this time on the road searching for Rick and the others and then when that proved futile just searching for a safe place to live, a place for them all to lay their heads down. This could be the answer.

Pushing the barred doors aside Daryl took a few steps out into the common room. The one thing he did have doubts about was this leader of theirs. He didn't miss the tense exchange between the dread locked woman and Tyrese about the man not being able to get out of bed. Weakness got you killed….quick. Hard to believe a whole community was willing to follow someone like that around. Maybe they were a bunch of nuts. Sitting back on the metal table Daryl, free from the burden of looking over his shoulder, let the sun warm his face as his mind wandered.

Footsteps in the hallway snapped him out of his moment of bliss as he reached down for the crossbow laying it across his lap. He didn't want to come off as threatening….not yet anyway. Tyrese appeared in the doorway a smile on his face as he laid eyes on Daryl sitting wide awake and ready.

"Sleep well?" Daryl's hand rested on the crossbow as his eyes wandered to the floor. Nodding his head he grunted.

"Was alright." Tyrese leaned against the gate as he nodded back.

"We have a council here…makes decision together. Also approves all new residents." Daryl didn't know if that was good or bad. In the old world he might have thought a living arrangement such as this was a cult. Silently he nodded letting Tyrese know he understood. "I'm going to go grab our leader and if he says ok I'll take you guys to meet the council. After that…you're one of us." Daryl stared at him, it seemed too easy. Place as safe as this, you'd think they wouldn't be so welcoming to strangers. Nevertheless Tyrese disappeared as he rose and walked back toward the cell. Giving a low whistle both Carla and Sophia instantly woke.

Carl jumped out of bed looking for his gun and blade although they were still locked up somewhere.

"It's ok….come on out here. They're bringing the leader guy over here to meet us…see if we can stay." Sophia ran a hand through her messy hair pulling it back up into the bun on her head, Carl wiped the sleep out of his eyes nodding. Keeping the crossbow close by, Daryl returned to sit on the table. Taking a seat against his leg on the bench Carl's eyes narrowed at the dark hallway as Sophia sat next to himl leaning into his left side.

Collectively, their hearts raced not knowing what was going to happen next. Hoping for the best, Daryl took a deep calming breath. Two sets of footsteps approached as Daryl closed his eyes for a split second saying a prayer to whoever was listening that this would work out. Not for him but for them…he never asked for or wanted anything for himself.

"They slept the night in the cell…no trouble at all. Just a man and his two kids…" Daryl's eyes snapped open when he heard Carl audibly gasp.

There in the early morning light next to Tyrese stood Rick Grimes. Daryl squinted not quite believing what he was seeing. He looked the same but different somehow; thinner, more worn down…desperate even. Carl stood up taking a few shaky steps as he stared at his father. Rick squinted at his son not able to process the sight before him was real. From across the room tears came to his eyes as he pointed at Carl before looking at Tyrese and then looking away shaking his head violently.

"No…it can't be…" Carl broke out into a run as Rick met him halfway falling to his knees on the cement floor. Wrapping his arms around his son, Rick began to sob. "Carl…"

"Daddy…it's me. It's me, Daddy." Carl's voice came out high pitched and frantic. Standing up from the table Daryl kept his eyes on the floor not wanting to intrude in such a moment. Sophia leaned against him watching the reunion between Rick and Carl with sad eyes. Looking up Rick's eyes landed on Sophia with amazement as he yelled back to Tyrese.

"Go get Carol…. NOW!" Sophia looked up at Daryl with questioning eyes.

"You mean my mom is here ? She's alive ?" Rick nodded still clutching Carl tightly to his chest.

Looking back up at Daryl she began to cry, a wide smile spreading across her face. A smile came to his own lips as he squeezed her shoulder. "I told you we would find her someday." Within minutes Carol appeared with Tyrese. She took one look at Sophia and collapsed to her knees sobbing loudly.

Running to her, Sophia smiled ear to ear, "Mommy ! I made it….I found you." Carol clutched the girl to her chest tightly.

For the first time in a year there was no one standing next to Daryl. No one was leaning against his arm, holding his hand, hanging on his belt, or wrapped around his waist. Holding the crossbow he didn't know what else to do. For all that time he knew…he knew what he was supposed to be doing. He had a purpose and meaning and a reason to keep fighting. The warm swell inside of his chest burst into a million pieces. He never wanted to be responsible for anyone, never asked for it and he certainly never looked for it. But one day it just happened and it made him feel so alive and so….so important. For the first time his life meant something and he was someone.

Looking down at the floor Daryl forced a smile. His hands wrapped around the crossbow, completely empty.

**Brief Epilogue to follow...Thanks for still reading !**


	14. Chapter 14

" **Better Days"**

**Author:** carmen_085

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any Walking Dead characters. Original characters are mine

**Author's Note:** Thanks for reading ! It's been long time coming but I finally finished this one. Bigger thanks to all those who hung in until the end.

**Epilogue**

_'So take these words_

_And sing out loud_

_Cause everyone is forgiven now_

_Cause tonight's the night the world begins again'_

As the days and weeks passed Daryl began to settle into an easy routine at the prison. In the beginning it was strange not having Carl and Sophia trailing behind him all day, but he knew they were safe and this was the way it was supposed to be. They were back with their folks, he had kept his promise, albeit much delayed, and they were safe. What else could he want ?

Leaning back against the picnic table he pretended to concentrate on his crossbow as Carol stared at him from across the courtyard. He understood her gratitude, although he assured her it was unnecessary. She wouldn't leave him alone, though, and he was beginning to get annoyed with her. Not only did he have no desire to play house he also didn't care for her one bit given some of the things he learned from Sophia while on the road. Any woman, who chased after a man that abused a kid, was a weak piece of shit in his opinion. Turning away he began to walk toward the gate not caring to acknowledge her persistent efforts to get his attention.

The sun beat down on his back making the sweat bead up as he headed toward the fences. Walkers were starting to build up and he needed something to do. That was the trouble with this place; there were long periods of time when nothing needed done. Comfort was beginning to build within all of them as Daryl saw it the moment he arrived. Fresh from the road; he, Carl and Sophia looked like animals compared to the rest of them. Even Rick had forgotten, to an extent, what it was like out there. Daryl snorted to himself as he walked down the gravel path; Rick didn't even carry a gun anymore. What the hell.

Biting his tongue Daryl felt a pang of guilt. Lori was dead; died giving birth to the baby who looked just like Shane if anyone was asking. But nobody asked and Rick took the high road, like always, and went on about life as if he was sure that she was his. He didn't know everything that had happened while he was gone. Hershel had filled him in on bits and pieces; like why he had one leg, why Rick was standing out in the field staring at plants, and why Beth was carrying a baby around. A lot was left out and Daryl didn't press. He understood the sanctity of suffering and how the gory details belonged only to those present. He didn't tell Rick or Carol everything that happened while they were on the road and they didn't ask. A year out in the wild with two young kids, one of them a girl, and he guessed they assumed things happened that they just didn't want to know.

Setting the crossbow to the ground he picked up one of the melee tools and began stabbing rotting brains through the chain link. He needed to find his place here; it had been so simple out there. He was their protector, their provider…their everything. Now they didn't need him although they still wanted to be around him as much as possible. Carl, in particular, seemed especially conflicted. Sophia didn't have a dad so her wanting to be around him made sense; Carl had a dad, and a good one too. Being with Daryl felt like he was picking one over the other. Further complicating matters, while he was gone ,Rick had turned into someone completely different. Daryl knew the boy didn't understand it so usually he let him hang out a little while before redirecting him toward his old man.

Black blood splattered as he poked and pulled over and over again. Stopping for a moment he pulled a cigarette out of his vest and lit it staring up at the dark clouds that were beginning to roll in. Flicking a glance back at the courtyard he shook his head as he saw people milling about. It seemed so normal, the way it used to be…before, the way it should be now. Turning back toward his work Daryl could't completely buy into the idea of a normal life anymore. Living like this bred complacency and comfort. Two things they didn't have the luxury of anymore. Funny though, the whole time on the road all he wanted was a place like this for Carl and Sophia. Now that he had found it, he wondered if it was more dangerous here than out on the road.

"Got another of those?" Shit…he was so busy chiding all of them in their head for being relaxed and here he was not even aware someone had walked right up on him. Turning around, the tension in his shoulders relaxed when he saw Beth. Grunting he began plunking walkers again. She wasn't going away, though. Chucking his head toward the pile of tools on the ground he stole a glance out of the corner of his eye.

"Plenty right there." Beth laughed a little, the same soft laugh he remembered from the farm. Picking up a crow bar she looked at him with a smirk on her face. A smirk? When the hell had sweet, innocent Beth begun to smirk. Turning to face her fully he cocked an eyebrow as she stool there full of determination and rebellion. Reaching over, she plucked the smoke from his mouth and inserted it into her own taking a drag before coughing . Daryl smirked his usual taunting smirk as he shook his head. "You ever smoke before ?"

Putting the cigarette back into her mouth she turned toward the fence. "I've done a lot of things that you don't know about." To say he was taken aback would have been a gross underestimation. Taking out another cigarette he lit it while carefully studying her. Sure she put on like a hard ass but underneath that was an unmistakeable air of hesitancy. Rolling his eyes, Daryl went back to the fence. This place had become so comfortable that there was even room for something like teenage rebellion.

They worked side by side for a while before she finally spoke up again. "Everyone treats me like a little girl that can't handle herself when it suits them. But then they expect me to raise a baby that ain't even mine." He stopped for a moment taking drag on the cigarette before letting it rest at his side. "Carl was a scared little boy, hiding in his mother's shadow before being with you. Now…." She gestured toward the other end of yard where Rick was bent over the tomato plants. "Now he's more of a man than his own father." Daryl winced a little. God, when did she get so blunt…so realistic. "Sophia too….she's a warrior and a survivor. I never knew her before but the way you guys looked for her…. I couldn't imagine she knew the first thing about survival"

"What do you want?" Daryl didn't care for beating around the bush, although this particular diatribe struck a cord inside of him. She wasn't saying anything he hadn't already thought. Stopping from her work at the fence she turned to him, tossing the cigarette to the ground and stamping it out.

"Everyone here thinks we're safe. That nothing bad will ever happen. Then something bad happens and they all run around in panic. Like when my daddy lost his leg…" Her eyes filled with tears reminding him that the Beth he knew was still under this newly acquired charade. "I didn't know what to do but I didn't give up on him…Maggie was ready to take him out back and bury him. Told me I needed to be realistic." Stopping she leveled her gaze at Daryl; truly staring him down for the first time. "I was being realistic. If he died the rest of us would have been screwed." Daryl couldn't argue with that. Hershel was the glue that held this place together; not to mention he was also the de facto Medic, Pediatrician, Obstetrician, and whatever the hell else someone needed. With Rick out in deep space, there was no leader. Glenn was trying, he could see, but the kid couldn't take the emotion out of decision making.

Stepping back he threw his own smoke on the ground stamping it out. "So what do you want…" Wiping the sweat from her brow she stared at him.

"I want you to take me out there and show me how to survive. To do with me what you did with them…" Shaking her head she let out a wry laugh. "I don't think this place will last forever. No matter how much I hope for it…I just don't think it will happen."

Daryl stared back at her for a second before dropping the tool. "Nah…Can't do that."

"And why not?" Whatever happened on the road last winter had ripped the innocence right out of her. Wondering for the first time how bad it really got, he looked at her.

"Because this is different…This place is safe. Weren't that way out there. Carl and Sophia had to become what they are to survive. To make it to a place like this." Beth nodded staring down at the ground as he turned to leave, satisfied that he had quelled her teenage rebellion.

Her voice stopped him cold. "It's easy to give up…isnt' it ? To say the hell with it?" He kept his gaze to the ground as she walked around to face him, the bloody melee tool still in her hand. "I know you were ready to give up that day…." She stopped letting out a deep breath as she shook her head. "Can't say I was much better." His eyes involuntarily flicked to her wrist, now covered with bracelets and walker blood. "We are all weak, sometimes, Daryl." His eyes met hers for the first time. "I'm not that person anymore and neither are you. I can do more here, I don't want to be a burden to anyone or rely on others to protect me."

He watched her walk back around to the fence and continue her work without another word. The sky began to darken as a few raindrops fell. Turning he walked back toward her as he leaned on the fence next to her studying her carefully before speaking.

"After the farm was lost…I thought everyone else was dead. Kept telling Carl and Sophia that we would find them but in my heart I just knew they were gone." Taking deep breath, he looked at her seriously not really believing he was about to say this. "You're right. I was going to give up that day in the church." He couldn't say the rest, what her just sitting next to him meant in that moment. The hope she gave him and how the sweet sound of her voice kept him going just one more day. Biting his lip, he looked back up to her. "You want me to show you how to survive…alright. It ain't going to be easy, though, and you need to ask your Pa first." Hershel was one of the few men he had real respect for. Staring back at him she nodded.

"Alright…" Feeling uncomfortable, he turned on his heel and began to walk away before stopping for a second.

"Oh yeah…and Beth ?" Putting the tool back into the pile, the rain began to pick up as she wiped her bloody hands on the front of the apron. He stood there looking at her not sure how to form the right words.

Nodding she smiled that sweet Beth smiled her remembered. "You're welcome…". Nodding he walked away from her as his mind began to spin. He never had these…what do you call these…relationships…with people before. To care about someone or feel something; it was all new to him. Reaching the courtyard Carl and Sophia came running over eager to tell him all about the survival lessons they had been imparting on the other kids. Today was building a fire…laughing Daryl pulled on Sophia's ponytail as Carl walked backwards in front of him making sure to emphasize how impressed everyone was with him.

He never wanted to care about anyone, just didn't make sense to him. No one cared about him a lick most of his life. But if his year on the road taught him anything, he learned it was unavoidable to not care, to not develop affection, to remain emotionally closed off. And with that, a part of him he thought had died long again under the relentless abuse of his old man came back to life. And he came back to life….a good life…a life worth fighting for…and a life he never thought he deserved but always wanted.

**THE END**

**GOO GOO DOLLS "Better Days" lyrics above**

**Thinking of doing a Bethyl sequel. Let me know what you guys think !**


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